Sensory Rooms and Autism

So yeah today's blog is about Sensory rooms. Have you ever had one of those projects that you want to do but not sure where to start. Things that are made up for sensory rooms are so costly and I'm sorry I really don't have the money for it. So why not just create it, myself?

If I will be able to mange this then I know you can too. I've already got a small start on converting my bedroom into a sensory room. She has the bunk bed which is her dark little corner to help with anxiety. I've got a window that I turned into a sensory window. I painted an image on it. The image is actually from the book she illustrated that I'm converting into an ebook now.

And of course she has a night light that has an image of the see on it. But I want to incorporate more things into this room so that she will be nice and calm and happy during the summer break. And if I can mange to do all of this during a cost effect time and manner then I will be able to duplicate for the school that Doodle currently goes too. That and it will be a big boost to get free publicity at her school for when her book hit's the website.

Some of the pillows that go along with the sensory room I did give away a couple of years ago. I'm not kicking myself in the butt over it. They were needed elsewhere and I was happy to give them up. It's not like I can't make them again. And let's face it, what get's donated to the school will have all the images that go along with her book. I might even have an opportunity to do a giveaway with JSN Creative Services if I can mange to do everything in a time and money effect way.

I would love to share the image of the sensory window that I've already done but the problem is that with the book still in the works I can not share any of the images until it's all final.

But I do plan on putting a sensory swing into the room and one for outside for Doodle. I can at least be able to give her comfort whether she's inside or outside. Most importantly she will be able to get a handle on herself inside the house. Where it will hand I'm not sure at this point. Getting the swings created are going to be the important thing for summer.

I will be posting videos' and step by step instructions once the projects start so stay tuned. I want to make sure that I can keep everything as cost effect as possible.

You guys have a great day!

Because of the bars that I have to start with, this is not what Doodle's sensory swing will look like. And can you believe this swing is over $200.00???

Effective parenting in Autism

Quick tip for today as I have tons of things on my list to be done and very little time. Thank you to pre-registration for the next school year and 102 video's that need to be edited.

Parents get the blame for everything when it comes to raising children. Hey, you have a kid on the spectrum. They respond better to a schedule. Picture schedules are the best. And when you can remove and replace the line up life is so much better.

Children on the spectrum hold accountability to the schedule thus taking off a lot stress from the parent. They don't blame the parent for what the schedule says to do. They blame the schedule.

Today I was at the school to get a few "social stories" to help with a few issues that Doodle has that really need to be addressed right before summer break and during the summer. She's picking at her knee and if she doesn't stop she can't go to the beach.

So if you don't have your picture schedule for home don't worry this is going to be something that I will be helping you to tackle this summer to help with your home life. Take the stress out of being a parent of a child on the spectrum and enjoy your child and your life.

As the weeks go one, I will be changing my website around so that you can find the things you need and be able to create your own schedule and helping you to create your own form of learning stories, to help your child. The school systems are suppose to be using board maker and well, I don't have access to it. You can get board maker, but the price is a bit hefty. In some forms of board maker you might be able to even get a free trail. Here is the link to get it for a free trail https://www.boardmakeronline.com/

So on my personal website I will be creating a way that parents can do their own form of creating learning stories and picture schedules. But for right now it's only a small idea and we are going to be delving into subject during the summer so I don't know how long it will take to create that section for the website. You will not find it on this blog only that it will be announced that it's ready and where to go to get access.

Guys have a great day! I've got tons of work that has to be finished.

Here is an example of a picture schedule. This is not mine. I have a long velcro strip on my wall that I post Doodle's schedule on that can be changed at a moments notice.

Memorial Day and Autism

Today is the day we remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. We are home of the free because of the brave. None of my businesses are selling anything today or pushing for anything to be sold, and we are not celebrating with BBQ.

Today is the day I tell my daughter we remember the man who is her great grandfather, though he didn't die in a war, he was still gunned down trying to protect others. Today we remember the ones who died for our freedom for us here in the United States of America. God Bless you all!!!

Bully's and Autism

So your child is being bullied at school. Well, what do you do? This is a very tricky situation. And most parents don't have a clue as to what to do. Here is the information to help you out on this situation.

We have children with disabilities. It's called special needs for a reason. It doesn't matter if your child is being tormented by another student or a teacher at the school. These are the steps you need to take and follow them to a T.

And before I begin on this. I know this works because I have used this. Not on my special needs child but for my regular ed student.

About 5 years or so bills were passed in every single state to address what parents should do in the event that their children were being bullied. Suicide rates had climbed because of children being bullied. So each State went about to help protect kids who were being bullied.

Keep that information in mind because this is the most important piece of information. In my State the letter that I had to work up you had to describe the mental state of the child, the incidents and the people involved.

But here is where I changed the letter to better suite my needs. In the introduction I informed the reader the day and the bill number of when the bill went into effect and what it was called. Here is the letter that I used back in 2010. I'm editing a lot on here to protect my privacy and location. But it shows you what the school has done wrong and why this action was taken. After the letter you will find the instructions for what to do and how and where to send it.

 May 12, 2010

County Board of Education

address 1
address 2

RE: (school) Elementary School

To Whom It May Concern:

In accordance to the State law of Alabama, known as the Student Harassment Prevention Act, also known as the Student Suicide and Violence Prevention Act, Act. 2009 571 passed on May 9^th 2009 of last year, we are hereby notifying you via letter as per law as what has transpired between our child, (Child's full name) and some of the students at (school) Elementary School.

(Child's first name) is a very timid child who has problems with emotions and feelings. She currently sees (therapist) for therapy at (therapy location) regarding these issues since last year. She also sees (Doctor), psychiatrist who currently has (child's first name) on Concerta 27 MG for ADD and Fluoxentine 10 MG for depression.

(Child's first name)'s depression stems from her constant bullying at (school) Elementary School, which has been an on going event since she was in the fourth grade. (Principal's name) is very much aware of the incident where (child's first name) was pushed down the stairs at said school when (child's first name) was in the 4^th grade which resulted in our filling out a police report at the after hours clinic for (Hospital and location of hospital, street address).

This year I was unaware of the bulling by students but have since found out last night after 5:00 p.m. when our son (child's first name) saw marks on (child's first name)'s arm, which (child's first name) had done in her math class under the care of Mrs. (last name withheld), her math teacher. She cut herself in math class when a boy, DeeVon (last name withheld) screamed out in class that (child's first name) stinks.  Mrs. (last name withheld) promptly told the student to shut up and went back to teaching her class, at which time (child's first name) took a pen and began to cut her arms because she was so upset over what the boy had said. Deevon is not the only boy that teases and torments (child's first name) at (school) Elementary School. The list of students that torment and tease (child's first name) incessantly is as follows:

Deevon (last name withheld), Namian (last name withheld), Jazlyn (last name withheld), Cole (last name withheld), Tara (last name withheld), Alexis (last name withheld), Asia (last name withheld), McKala (last name withheld) and a boy in Mrs. (last name withheld)'s class that (child's first name) does not know the name of.

The list of names that (child's full name) is called on a daily bases is Tissue, Stinky, White Trash, Messy, Flats, White ass ugly girl, Stupid, Ho, Whore, White bitch and Cracker.

(child's first name) has been pushed into lockers in the 6^th grade hall. She has also been shoved into the walls and sprayed with perfume.

The students have threatened her with threats of: I’m gonna beat your white ass, I’m gonna jump you, I’m gonna kick your ass and they have threatened her with physical violence such as: I’m gonna slap the white off your ass, I’m gonna throw you off the balcony, she has been threatened with being hit with a chair, threatened with being thrown out of the window in Mrs. (last name withheld)’s math class. McKala (last name withheld) has even threatened to throw (child's first name) through the wall. McKala (last name withheld) has even gone so far as to threaten (child's first name) to were she would not inform myself, (my first and last name) or my husband (the father's first and last name), because if (child's first name) told on her she would not only beat (child's first name)’s ass but promptly informed (child's first name) that she would “beat your momma’s ass”. Making (child's first name) too afraid to bring the abuse to me, my husband, to her councilor (therapist's name) or her psychiatrist (Doctor's name), for fear of McKala hurting her or myself (my first and last name).

Upon fully getting to the bottom of this violence in (school) Elementary School I have been informed that there are three teachers that are very much aware of the bullying but do nothing about it. The said teachers are Mrs. (last name withheld), Mrs. (last name withheld) and Mrs. (last name withheld).

I am also very much concerned not only in the bullying but that the school councilor saw fit to contact (child's first name)’s friend Jakemia’s mother but we were not contacted so that we could get (child's first name) in to see her psychiatrist immediately.

Sincerely,

Mrs. (my first and last name) and Mr. (husband's first and last name)

Parents of (child's full name), student at (school) Elementary School

Now if you have a regular ed student the steps you need to take to take control of this situation is send your letter to the State school board. Even if you have to fax it and then call to make sure they received it. Next step is to personally hand deliver to your County or City school board in charge of your child's school. Make sure the head of these school's or head of students services is on the letter. In your letter if you want put a cc in there letting all parties know who you have sent the letter too. You get better results this way. It shows that you won't be ignored. Last you send the letter to the school principal. The cc is the most important here. It show's the principal that you have gone far above their heads and you're not playing.

If you have a special education student your line of defense is different. The letter must go to the head of special education for the state, then the local school board (head of special education as well) and then the last person to get their letter is the principal. Again make sure that you cc everyone that is receiving your letter.

Make sure that you keep a copy of each letter that you send out and where you have sent it out too for your lawyer. Remember if you have a special needs child that is dealing with bullies, these letters will go to your advocate. If you are unsure of how to find your advocate read my previous blog post on IEP storms and Autism. If you are a regular ed parent you will need to contact a lawyer in your area.

Hope this helps you guys and have a great day!

IEP storms and Autism

So, it's Friday. Today's post was posted this morning before I finished getting ready to go to Doodle's Spring Fling at school. Summer is coming and that means most of my blog will be dedicated to crafts with Doodle. Yep, the child is multi-talented.

The storm outside my window is viciously beating on everything. Inside, I'm working on my blog. Because as you guys know the deadline's approaching. I wouldn't say that it is fast approaching, but it is approaching. I've only missed one deadline and I still feel guilty over it.

So what do I mean by IEP storms? These are incidences that are happening at the school out of your control. I'm a bit of a control freak but I step back when it comes to the school unless I have to step up.

I've mentioned in the medicate blog that it's best to be in an autism support group to discuss with other parents their feelings or views on certain medications for kids on the spectrum. In the group tonight was a mom. She had posted before on this issue of the school and a teacher that was harassing and tormenting her son into meltdowns. The teacher was not in her son's class. It was teacher that teaches regular ed classes.

REMEMBER your IEP is a corner to corner contact. A friend once told me that. Everything on the IEP has to be followed by a T. What happens when someone breaks a contract? Well, it's against the law to break a binding contract. What is you IEP? A binding corner to corner contract between you and the school. This holds the school accountable. If you can remember that and say it in your IEP meetings, you will be good to go. If you have a school that doesn't take IEP's seriously and doesn't follow them well then you've got another animal on your hands, if you are in the States.

Now for my friend in this group she got a lot of advice. Remember, her son was being tortured in school by a teacher. To the point where it caused meltdowns. If you read your parental rights you know that your child is entitled to a free, safe and healthy environment for learning. Is her son allowed to that with being tortured? No.

Here's what you do. Find the local advocate program for your state. Mine is ADAP. Alabama Disabilities Advocacy Program. The day of my incident with the Para, I contacted ADAP and left a message. I also put in my planner/calender the name of the person I left a message with. Their email address, office address, fax number, number I called and address where they are located.

Normally, you don't get to see the principal at Doodle's new school. I went there for my afternoon IEP meeting to start the process for getting Doodle on the waiting list for a new school. The waiting list for this school is long and I needed to get on it way before Doodle gets into middle school. I asked to speak with the principal before my meeting. She was busy so I left a detailed note for her door. I listed the complaint I had against this para and I made sure at the end that ADAP, my lawyers had been contacted and I was waiting to hear back from them.

This is the fastest I have ever gotten the principals' attention. My IEP meeting hadn't even started and I was pulled to the principals office. She asked if we could get this handled without my lawyers being involved. Well, of course we can. Why was I able to get her attention so quickly? It's because of the steps I took. I contacted my advocates first before I even let the school know what's going on.

Now with my friend she may possibly be able to double dip. This particular teacher had been warned by the school not to do this incident again and yet the person just won't stop. How can she double dip? This is a form of bullying. For what to do with your child who is being bullied? You will have to read Friday's blog, Bully's and Autism.

Have a great day guys.

School Spring Fling and Autism

Today's post was going to have the pictures from awards day, but I was so far back all the pictures came out blurry. Doodle was dealing with an allergic reaction and the pictures showed a really grumpy child. So today we are on to Spring Fling.

Friday was a great day at the school. This was some rare time that I got to spend with Doodle while she played at school. The event that was set up by the PTA was just simply amazing.

Doodle tried two things that she wouldn't normally try. She did the dunk tank and the cakewalk. With the dunk booth I got to see a side of Doodle that is rare for parents like myself get to see in our children. And I can tell you she relished every moment of being a "normal child". She stood at the line that all the regular ed students stood at. When she threw the ball for the target she actually hit the target. Many students had tried and many didn't make it. She surprised everyone there including the teacher she dunked! All the kids wanted to high five her and she was the happiest little clam I have seen in while.

For the cake walk, I made sure that the people from Publix knew that she was a special ed student. Doodle was competing with regular ed students and well I didn't think she would be able to keep up or understand. The people at Publix did a fantastic job. They would stop the music when she was in front of them and push her into a chair. To me it was really funny because she didn't really understand what she was doing or why, she just wanted a cake. And thanks to Publix, they helped her to get that cake. To me that was so awesome. She made it to the very last but because she didn't get into the last of the two chairs she technically didn't win the game. But here is the awesome part. Not only did Publix give Doodle a coupon for ice cream for being a great sport but they also let her pick a cake too.

She did a few games and got a few prizes. She danced with the regular ed students and had a blast. By the time the event was over I was exhausted keeping up with her and her classmates. I kept an eye on one of the little boys in the class because the kids that were in charge of him didn't really want to do it. He has autism too but a little more sever then Doodle's. He's really such a sweet little boy. He's about the same height as me and wanders away pretty quick.

And of course I get the question that I'm used to hearing. My name has pretty much been changed. I will respond to Doodle's Mommy. Several kids came running up to me and asked if I was Doodle's Mommy and I said yes. One little girl came up and asked. I responded with yes and she screamed out, I've always wanted to meet you! It was the funniest thing I have heard in awhile.

You guys enjoy the pictures and enjoy your day!

The family break and Autism

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's coming with this one. Being an Autism parent sometimes means that I'm a recluse. It happens. If I were to go to a family function, something happens and I'm dealing with a meltdown and need to make a quick get away I can't. I'm at least branching out right now by taking Doodle to events the city is holding. This is easier for me because if she starts a meltdown it's a quick break! Family functions you don't get that option. But for those in the family that really haven't seen me since Doodle was born don't understand my frustration. And all while a meltdown is happening will insist that we stay.

What they fail to understand is that making a break for it is the easiest way to get Doodle back in an environment where she calms down and starts to regain herself. I deal with the sensory. And being at a family members home I just can't deal with sensory if it's slapping her in the face and she's not allowed to get away from what ever it is that is triggering a sensory meltdown.

Wednesday was Doodle's awards day at school. She received A-B honor roll, most creative and perfect attendance for 3rd quarter. Who else was there? My cousin's wife, who loves to snub me every chance she gets, even coming and hugging and speaking with my parents but acting like I wasn't even there. The beef between her and I has gotten to the point where it came to a head yesterday. Her children go to the same school as Doodle. And because the special needs class has our own parking spot, this cousin has started parking her car there too. Oh it's no big deal. This is how big of a deal it is. Since the school that Doodle went to last year had a designated drop off and pick up section to make it easier for the kids to transition from school to home. First ones out of school, first ones gone from campus. I insisted that Doodle get the exact same treatment at this new school. And yes we got it. This way the transition from school to home stayed the same. Last year the parents had to wait in the car pool lane and wait for their number be called, told to me by one of the special needs parents.

When parents think that it's okay to park where ever they want it leaves us to park in the back of the school. Children on the spectrum are routine strict. If even the slightest little thing is out of place in their routine they have meltdowns. To them it's like going to the store buying groceries and leaving the groceries there and going back home. That's the easiest way to describe it. You don't know why you left the groceries behind that you need but you spent money on it and just left. Doesn't make sense, right?

This cousin thinks that because I park here she can park there and not in a regular parking spot with the rest of the staff that she claims to be "working" with. Yeah, you read that right. She says she works at the school. Now here is my problem. She started it and parks there all freaking day! So by the time it comes for us to come pick up our children we have no place to park. One special needs parent has started parking on the cross walk and another has taken to blocking every single parent in by parking on the passing side. It's really becoming a nightmare. When I come to the school and it's not to pick up my child I park in the parking lot not my regular side. If I'm there for an iep meeting I park in our section because by the time the meeting is over it's time for school to let out and Doodle is routine strict. Last iep meeting I was late getting her and Doodle flipped her wig for the entire night where there was just no homework to be able to get done. Screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to hurt herself and the iPad up until the moment that she fell asleep.

I really don't like those days. Well, days where parents park in our section and I have to park at the back lot those are the days it takes roughly 30 minutes or longer to do something that should take 5-10 minutes. This is what most of the people in my family don't understand. The frustration with her autism. I would like to say that everyone in my family is understanding and accepting but that's not the case. This "cousin" if you want to call her (she's married in) that is so offended that I turned her in to the school because she's keeping my student from giving her all to her lessons. Okay, it wasn't worded that way. The note was worded more to, "there are parents that are parking in the designated section for the special needs parents and when they take over our section knocking off routine I have to deal with transitional meltdowns because the transition from school to home is not going smoothly. Which makes it harder for my child to get her homework taken care of in a timely manner. The parents' name is...

Now this issue was taken care of this Wednesday by the Vice Principal. Because when I showed up for the awards ceremony again she was parked in our section. I saw the Vice Principal pull her aside and chat with her. When the ceremony was over her car was gone. At the time of Doodle's ceremony her children were not participating. Their ceremony was in the afternoon.

Yes, it chaps my butt that she thinks because I get to do it she can do it. This is my right as a special needs parent because my child can't do what regular ed children can do and that's, be called to the car and be able to make it to the car without assistance. Same for drop off. She won't make it to her classroom without help. If I were to drop her off like a regular ed student she would find herself somewhere that isn't on campus and no one would know where she is. It's a safety issue. Our children get out of school 30-45 minutes early every single day. First out of class, first off of campus.

At the old school, when Doodle was not walked to her destination by the person appointed to getting her I would text her teacher and get a response back saying we found her, she was in the gym or by the fish tank or we found her wandering the halls. It happens this I understand. Which is why I always sent a text when I dropped her off and the person to get her wasn't there. Which I might add was very rare! At this school I walk Doodle to the crosswalk where she is met by one of her para's. The para stays with her until she has all the kids from the class and then they all head inside.

Do I talk to family members anymore. No I don't. I have several on my facebook page and they don't talk to me and I don't talk to them. It's like an understanding. Really and truly they don't know what all I go through raising a child on the spectrum. Some days are better then others. And every day is a challenge. My mother thinks that Doodle is just acting like a normal child. Yes, if it's normal for a child to slap themselves, pick their skin until they bleed and continue on, hums all the time, flaps like a bird when she's becoming overstimulated, runs off at the drop of a hat. has meltdowns that they don't even know why they are having them and so on.

If your having issues at school, stand up for your sanity. We don't have a normal life. The school has schedules they go through with our children and we have routines and schedules that we go through. I spoke with a woman whose son was allowed to sleep all day at school because the teacher said he wasn't acting like himself. That made me cringe! I feel that struggle. If Doodle so much as has a 5 minute nap she can be up for 24 hours straight. For this I suggested the parent call an emergency iep meeting and get this issue rectified. School is almost out and if this teacher is allowing this behavior this poor parent won't be able to get any rest at night during the summer because her child's schedule will be off for months. No you're not changing the iep, you are addressing an issue that has aroused. Your iep is your binding corner to corner contract that protects your child at school. Your child has a right to learn and be educated just like a regular ed student.

With Doodle I had to deal with this nightmare for an entire month until the meltdowns just made me snap. It was easier to just take the issue to the principal where it was handled by the Vice Principal then having myself go to jail. Purple is more my color, not orange.

To medicate or not to medicate that is the Autism

Here it is 4 in the morning and I'm writing on the blog. I screwed up and did my Plexus today and b12. I've just haven't had any energy. When 3 am rolled around and I was still wide awake I had to get out of bed and do something. Maybe catch up on my work that I didn't get a chance to do today. And of course write on the blog. Wednesday is fast approaching and I don't want to miss another blog post.

So as the title says medication and autism. Now, I'm not going to stop any parent from medicating their child if they feel that's the way to help their child. It's not my place to try and parent a parent on how they see best it to raise their child. I know there are parents out there that will do just that. This just like the autism diagnoses is a very touchy subject. I've already had one person out of 6 years of Doodle's diagnoses tell me I needed to medicate her. And as we all know from the past blog post that didn't end well for her.

With medications it takes months to try to get it right. It may work it may not. It may work for several months or several years and then just stop working. There are some great autism groups to join to discuss this matter with other autism parents. And that's the best advice that I can give you. Find a social media support group. They understand what you are going through. It doesn't hurt to ask about different medication that may or may not work. One thing that you need to keep in mind though is not every child on the spectrum acts the same. One child will act and do things differently then another child on the spectrum.

For me, I've had far better results removing chemical laden products that are created for our "convenience"  to clean our home, clothing, self and carpets. I never would have guessed in a million years that the main reason why Doodle had so many meltdowns and outbursts were because of these chemicals. Doodle is highly sensitive to one chemical in particular. SLS also know as Sodium Lauryl Sulfate. This is the chemical that made her feel like she was being stabbed by 1000 needles. So it pretty much explained why she couldn't focus.

I can't use medication. In order to get rid of the chemicals I had to replace all of what I use on and around Doodle. I make her soap, shampoo, toothpaste, the products that I use to clean the house, laundry detergent and a vast other amount of things that are near or around Doodle. The toothpaste that I use removes toxins from her body. Most parents with children on the spectrum use the main ingredient that removes the toxins to bathe their kids with.

I also use essentials oils and just like a parent that requests a doctor to change the prescription to better help for their child I adjust essentials oils. It used to be that frankincense and orange oil worked on Doodle to help keep her focused. I've had to adjust this to be frankincense and lavender oil. It calms her so much to the point I spray this on the bed to help her get to sleep faster and not fight the melatonin.

And just like medication, essential oils take some time to figure out what will work best. Most people who love essential oils swear by vetiver on their children. Well, that doesn't work on Doodle. And I've tried a lot of oils on her. Frankincense works the best so I'm always going to make sure that I pair it with another oil to keep her on track.

Yes, I have a child that's verbal. No, I don't have a child that can hold a conversation with me or anyone else. But she's a lot further ahead then some kids on the spectrum. We didn't even see any speech until she was 6. So if your child is under the age of 6 don't panic that they don't have speech. Just keep the faith. Faith is the one thing that kept me going.

Doodle has a certain prayer that she says every morning the goes along with The Lord's prayer. She knows her prayers by heart. She even has a prayer that she is to say before she eats. She's come a long way. Long ago she was a little thing that did a lot of therapy. And I seriously mean a lot! And still not the speech she was suppose to have. I credit her teacher and para at the school she used to be at. A good teacher will help the child because they see the potential in the child. I can tell you I don't want a freaking babysitter. Doodle wants to be a doctor when she grows up. That or Jesus Christ. Sorry Doodle, you will have to stick with doctor. There can only be one Jesus but you can be like Christ.

You are the parent of your child on the spectrum. The right to medicate or not medicate is up to you and no one else.

Have a great day guys.

Ground Control to Major Tom welcome to Autism

It's no surprise that I use music as an outlet in my life. It shapes the person that I am. For some reason music is an outlet for my feelings. Well, today we have Space Oddity by David Bowie. This song pretty much sums up autism.

The first song that Doodle ever fell in love with was I want to Break Free by Queen. For awhile there she was a huge Freddie Mercury fan. All she wanted to listen to was all of their music. And for some reason in her life the way that the Queen songs she fell for were the ones that made the most impact in her life and in mine. I want to Break Free was the first song. She was obsessed with the music video and would watch it on loop for hours on youtube. To me this was her way of trying to let me know she wanted to break free. What better way to say it then with music. Before I knew it this was the song that she learned. She could say about 4 words and yet she could sing this song. Word for word.

The next song was Breakthru. This song meant a lot to me. The words Freddie sings If I could only reach you, If I could make you smile. That would really be a breakthru. And there is nothing more that I wanted was to be able to reach her. To make that breakthru. It was at this time that Doodle had switched over to the new school with a teacher and para educator that saw promise in her. The time that she was making leaps and bounds. She was learning how to read and write and even do math. Our life was changing and for the best. Her potential was seen.

The last Queen song that Doodle became so attached to was Somebody to Love. Now at this point you would think that she was feeling unloved. And at first given the song I thought that for a split second, until you hear the lyrics. These lyrics are the most important part to hearing what my Doodle was trying to say, though the words or conversation wasn't there. This is not the full lyrics. But this is what I heard out of this song:

     Take a look at yourself in the mirror and cry, Lord what did you do to me. I've spend all my years in belief in you but I just can't get no relief. Can anybody find me.. I work hard everyday of my life I work 'til I ache my bones. I go down on my knees and I praise the Lord until tears run down from my eyes. He works hard every day. I try and I try and I try but everybody wants to put me down, they say I'm going crazy. I've got nobody left to believe. I've got no rhythm, I just keep loosing my beat. I'm alright, I'm alright. I will face my fear. I will get out of this prison cell, some day I'm gonna be free. Find me, find me, find me. Can anybody find me.

To her and to me it wasn't about being loved it was about finding her. Music isn't what it used to be. The music doesn't really speak to the audience or for the audience like it used to.

Look, our life can be chaotic at times and I'm just about ready to pull my hair out at times. But it's the music that still shapes and calms the nerves. We still hold Freddie in a special place in our hearts. And though our music has changed to Gospel, Freddie's music will never get old in our lives. It doesn't offend me like some of the other music that I used to listen to does to me now. Did you know that Queen actually had to two gospel songs? Freddie Mercury wrote a song about Jesus. Queen Official released a video of the song with lyrics just 7 months ago. It is one of my favorite songs. And I'm glad they are embracing the song that I believe needs to be played more and not just on youtube. There is also a song they did called Mad the Swine. It reminds us to get down on our knees and praise The Lord.

Freddie Mercury is from India so Jesus is not suppose to be apart of his religion. But he sang about Jesus. And I happened to come across this song when I was trying to find the face of my Lord. My husband was getting ready to deploy and I wanted to use this time with him being gone by not being lonely. I was going to run full speed to the man that would keep me from being lonely and give me protection, Jesus Christ.

I can say a lot of what Jesus did for me during this time. But that would be a whole other blog post and this blog is dedicated to what I do for Doodle with God's miracles working through her. The past is behind us and the future waits for us to concur it. We can't help what happened in our past, that's why it's behind us.

Freddie has helped shape our lives. To give him proper homage I have his pose on the back of my vehicle. A reminder of God's love, as Freddie has always sang about love. And how much God loved me to use the music to hear and understand Doodle at a time when she had no words to speak with.

Some days are better then others and those are the Space Oddity days by David Bowie. Listen to the words of the song. It describes what autism is really like. I'm Ground Control and Doodle is Major Tom. Planet Earth is blue and there is nothing I can do. I'm stepping through the dark. And I'm floating in the most peculiar way. And the stars look very different today. I'm floating in my tin can far above the moon. Planet Earth is blue and there is nothing I can do. Can you hear me? Can you hear me Major Tom?

Doodle dressed for Freddie for a Day. And yes this is a replica of the actual outfit. The shoes are mine. It took me months to find them. Exactly like the ones he wore on stage at Wembley. 

Homework helpers and Autism

Welcome to Friday!!!! Yeah, right now it's not Friday and my work is piling up but while I have the images that are to go into this post it was best just to go ahead and knock this bad boy out.

My ebooks are coming back corrupt for some reason and it's something that needs to be fixed. So while the website is being updated it's a perfect opportunity to go ahead and get my work on this blog done. Here I am listening to the Brant Hansen show on Way FM, laughing and giggling at the show. Time is going by sort of slow, which is good for me. But I have that issue from last week stuck in my head. Someone stepped on my toes, demanding that I medicate Doodle for stemming and I missed last week's post. I really should have known better then to let it get skipped but some times things happen. Life throws you curve balls.

And speaking of curve balls I've got a little trick for you if you have trouble getting your child to do their homework. You're darned if you do darned if you don't on a snack and how your child does their homework. With Doodle it has to be done a certain way or a meltdown ensues and nothing will get done but my blood pressure going through the roof.

It's no secret that kids don't like doing homework. Doodle has always hated doing homework and it has always been a battle. The fight Royale to get it done. Right now, I have it down to a science. If I want her to get her homework done in under 10 minutes for the 3-4 pages that she gets a night then we put snack with homework.

Depending on how long the page is depends on how much of the snack she gets. Writing the word twice on one line will earn her one gold fish cracker to eat. If it's writing the word in the fill in the blanks then a gold fish cracker per word written. If it's math homework then she gets one cracker per math problem. And there you have it. By the time she is done with her homework she's also had her snack and she is ready for the rest of her afternoon schedule.

I never let Doodle have direct access to her snacks as she will eat them and not do her work. Her favorite "I love the fishes cause they're so delicious!" is the ones that taste like cookies and not crackers. The sweet treats are her go too's for getting homework done. 

No that's not a real animal, that's a $20 toy from Michael's craft store. Obsessions get expensive. 

No the Faygo was not her drink to go with homework and snack. She had to have this can by her chipmunk. If she doesn't have things a certain way she won't do anything.

Homework gets knocked out in 10 minutes or less. If we didn't do homework this way, it just wouldn't get done at all. Thankfully, Doodle never put two and two together and realized the meltdown she had all flipping evening and night last Wednesday was the reason she didn't do homework at all.

In the Kitchen with Autism

So last Friday Doodle and I were in the kitchen making candies. At Doodle's previous school her teacher and para educator had a day where they taught the kids how to make snacks for themselves. This was an important class that she did every week. It laid the ground work for Doodle to be my kitchen helper to focus and help me prepare meals for our family. Since we have moved I haven't had Doodle help me in the kitchen as I used to.

Friday however was a different day for us. It was time to teach Doodle how to make chocolates from scratch. For this I used a recipe from the simple cooking channel on youtube. I melted the organic cocoa butter on the stove on a double boiler. Doodle would peek at the progress in the double boiler but she didn't try to touch it or get too close to the stove.

I lined up all the ingredients, though I didn't use honey as my sweetner. I used 5 little packages of my stevia. I use that in all of the things that I make for myself. Worked every well I might add. I had all the ingredients lined up for Doodle to place them in the bowl with the melted cocoa butter and she was the one in charge of mixing it all together. She did very well and I am very happy with how the chocolates turned out. But the thing that impressed me the most was as much of this chocolate as she eats she doesn't get the bouncing off the wall energy that she normally gets with eating lots of candy.

All the ingredients that you need to get you can find at your local health food store. And this is a perfect project to do with your child, whether they are on the spectrum or not. Make sure you keep your child looking towards your face in order for them to hear you. That's the key to focusing and listening for kids on the spectrum. Eye contact is not easy for them but pointing to your nose and speaking works great!

Popping chocolate out of the molds while we eat the chocolates.

Doodle thinks the chocolates tasted wonderful.

Want to make your own? Here's the recipe, thanks in part to the Simple Cooking Channel, on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvxn0V0jVZU

Bad kids, the Vampire approach and Autism

So last Saturday there was an event that my mother insisted that Doodle and I attend. She and her friends had a tent set up to bring awareness to the history of families. You know what I'm talking about: genealogy.

Well, from the moment we got there it was raining but we stuck it out as long as my parents stuck it out and Doodle was at her best behavior. Though there were children around that were not. One little girl ran up to Doodle and stuck her tongue out at her. The confused look on Doodle's face really said it all. I didn't know why the kid did that either. But like a little trooper, Doodle just went about following where ever my mother went.

And then we came towards the end of the event. Doodle needed to use the rest room. No big deal. When she left there she wanted to scope out the cookie tent. She had been very well behaved and I thought a treat was in order. So we went to my car across the street to gather a $1.00 from my purse and headed back to the tent. The moment we walked back into the fence posts a gentleman screamed out don't you dare! Which caught both Doodle and myself off guard. We froze for a moment and he laughed and said we weren't the problem.

So we went to go check out the cookies and I told Doodle to pick two bags of cookies. At that moment I heard the sound of tinging and pinging. That was the sound of small rocks hitting cars. I turned to look and there were 5 kids in the closest parking lot throwing rocks at one another. At this point the gentleman who yelled when we walked up was trying to get these kids under control. "Ya'll stop doing that! Where are ya'll's mothers? Whose kids are these?" Those kids continued on with throwing rocks and never paid that gentleman any mind. Can you see my Southern coming out?

Doodle got her cookies and on we went back to the tent, where my parents and their friends were taking down everything they had put up. Well, we were in the path of said kids who had "lost their minds" as I like to put it. Rocks were flying everywhere. These kids were so happy with not a care in the world.

It was at this time that I loudly said, "Ignore them and don't mimic! These are very bad children and you are a good girl. Do not act like them." Doodle has been known on occasion to act out other children's behavior in public. It's frustrating but its a way for her to learn. Unfortunately, for me it's always bad behavior that she wants to mimic. Kids screaming out vulgar things to their parents she mimics. Children throwing tantrums in stores because they aren't getting what they want, she mimics. Toddlers crying in stores, she mimics. She mimics what she sees and what she hears. That's how children on the spectrum work. We walk pass the kids and go back to our spots. She did very well and I praise her for being such a good girl.

I guess what I said loudly for all to hear made a difference because the children throwing rocks stopped. It was at this time the person that was in charge of them had them follow him around the rest of the tents like baby ducks following their mother. When they got over to our tent, the children all screamed out oh look candy. There was a candy bowl at our tent for anyone who needed a peppermint. Doodle had already raided it for the one piece of chocolate that it held earlier in the day.
When the children looked at me and realized who I was they ushered their grandfather that it was time to move on. Now how do I know it was their grandfather? Because I recognized the man. It was the step father of the girls that I used to hang out with. I was best friends with his oldest step daughter and once she married a man in the Air Force she thought she was too good to have friends that were still in high school and not military base related. She had no room to think that considering she dropped out of high school to marry the guy.

The middle sister I hung out with after that and she got pregnant in school and she too dropped out. I had graduated from high school and from college by this time and every time the middle sister came around it was to go out and "window shop" and conveniently left formula, diapers and wipes at home every single time. I think I bought more of that baby's things then she did and I worked hard to pay my bills. At the time I was working 4 jobs, paying off student loans, a brand new Jeep, gas to get back and forth to all these jobs and rent to my parents.

The youngest daughter out of all the daughters was a little more grounded. She was a little slow mentally and just wanted to have the exact same experiences at life like her sisters. I really don't think she was mentally challenged as everyone said she was. She spoke like a baby because her parents treated her like one. And neither of their parents really punished the girls for anything that they did. I will never forget how all the girls always bragged about lying to their parents. And only because it "afforded them more luxuries". Yeah, your parents are barely scrapping by, still paying for everything for all their children and their children not wanting them to have to lift a finger while taking care of a woman who was terminally ill and that woman's two kids. So it's no surprise that these children would be so badly behaved and not giving into regards of other peoples property.

Which leads me to this little rant. There are people out in this world who want children on the spectrum locked away and/or put to death. Why? Because according to them our children have no quality of life. I can say all sorts of things on that. But you have parents like myself who raise a child(ren) on the spectrum and are helicopter moms. Always insuring that our children are as well behaved given that we are out in public in events that are out of our control because our kids want to be like other kids. And yet, there are children out there that act purely wicked and it's okay for them to be out in public and we have to be the ones that are shut ins because of something that is out of our control?  Get outta here with that noise! Doodle is on no medications except for her asthma. I use nothing but essential oils to help with her moods and behavior. And the biggest complement I always get about her is that she is so well behaved. The lady at the bank said that she never would have even known that Doodle had autism. She's more well behaved then some of the kids that come into the bank and head straight to other peoples office and destroy awards, their desks and other belongings.

I don't play that way when it comes to Doodle. If I'm in there to make a withdrawal and not in there for a meeting we have no business even making a break for someone's office. And yes, Doodle tried that once and she was snatched back quickly and correctly immediately. I use the "vampire" approach. We don't go that direction unless we are invited and that includes other people's offices.

And now that my little rant is done, enjoy the pictures from that event. Bad kids not included.

As you guys can tell I never did get to put my stamp on. Mother's Day is fast approaching and Doodle and I have tons of crafts to finish up. Stay tuned for Wednesday as Doodle is in the kitchen! Have a great day!

IEP's, wrong things said and Autism

Well, I missed Wednesday's post. It was already written all I had to do was add the watermark to the pictures, upload the pictures and post. That's all I had to do. However, when I dropped Doodle off at school Wednesday I was blind sided and it threw my day off. I was on time. One of the little boys from the class was dropped off and the Para saw my vehicle she waited for me to park and unlock the doors. Doodle got out and that's when it all went down.

First off as a parent raising a child with special needs the schools treat us differently. Having regular education children who were in the school system compared to Doodle in the school system I can tell you that there is a big difference to how I am treated as a parent.

But you have to know that there is one rule that CAN NOT be broken at all. This is a rule that is sacred to the classroom that protects our privacy and the license of the teacher. Anything that is said to you as a parent with a child with special needs comes from the teacher, no one else. Period! Don't ever forget that. A para educator can not tell you anything about what happens with your child in that classroom. Everything has to be told to you from the teacher and no one else.

When I pulled up Wednesday morning, I was very much aware that I had an IEP for Doodle that afternoon. This was an IEP review. I'm starting the process to get Doodle into a special school for the 6th grade year. Yeah, she's in the 3rd grade but the waiting list to get into this certain school is years long so you have to start the process very early. And this is just the start to try to get her on the list.

The Para got Doodle out of the car and proceeded to tell me that I needed to take Doodle to the doctor and have her medicated. That her behavior was out of control nothing they did would stop the behavior. She then proceeded to tell me about things Doodle was doing that was highly inappropriate in my thoughts. It was also something that was not typical of a child with Doodle's form of autism to ever do. The kick in the pants came when I was told that they had just gotten to the point where they could get Doodle to start doing work. She then told me that I needed to correct the behavior in the classroom and make sure she got medicated. I thanked her and drove off.

Let me tell you what I heard in my mind. The teacher is never in the class. Doodle has not been doing classwork and the homework that we do every single night has been the only work that she's done in school. And I'm suppose to correct behavior that is out of my control in that classroom. But nothing offended me more then telling me I had to medicate my child. Look, Doodle's previous teacher and para got her behavior under control to where I didn't have to medicate my child.

By the time I got back home, 5 minutes or less later I was getting hot under the collar. I contacted Doodle's Para from her old school and informed her of what I had been told and asked for help on correcting the behavior. I was blindsided and not thinking correctly. It wasn't until she told me that Doodle's teacher from last year had to handle this situation that it started to remind me of the rules of the classroom. Para's are not allowed to tell you about your child's day. All that comes from the teacher and no one else. And it's always with: this is what is happening in class and the steps we are taking to correct this situation. Sometimes you get homework at home to work with your child to reinforce and correct the problem. That's how it's always been handled.

Now you can ask a para if your child was good or bad and the only thing they can say is yes or no and that is it. They can't say anything more. Remember your IEP contract is between you, your child and the teacher. No one else! It's a privacy issue. If a person is this blunt to say that to your face what all else are they saying about you and your child to others?

I have a friend at Autism Speaks here in this area. I think I've been friends with this wonderful lady since Doodle was diagnosed with autism. I sent her a message about what was said and I remembered that here in the state that I live in we as parents fall under these lawyers that are called ADAP. I looked them up and called leaving a message with them. Which is not uncommon to leave them a message and they are prompt at calling you back. This whole confrontation was uncalled for and again I will say it blind sided me. My friend at Autism Speaks told me that I needed to contact ADAP asap and get them on this that the para overstepped her boundaries and she put the teachers license in jeopardy.

I also had an opportunity to speak with Doodle's father over this and he got pretty angry over the whole situation as well. As he should be. That's our right as parents of a special needs child. We were both livid!

I decided to leave for my meeting 45 minutes early, still not hearing back from Doodle's old teacher, which I had been informed if I didn't hear from her I was to call her that night (she has 12 students or more this year and 2 para's, so she's pretty busy) or hearing back from ADAP.

At the school the first person I saw was Doodle and I's favorite person. One of my dear friends and he knew the look on my face was not a look he has ever seen. He and my other friends call me smiley for a reason. But there was no smile today. He asked what was wrong and I promptly told him why I looked like my head was going to explode. He promptly told me of his incident the previous afternoon where his son came to his truck with a cross on his nose in magic marker. He was hot under the collar that it was put there and he said that was the way that they marked slaves for trade back before the civil war. And the para I had an issue with was the same person who had put that cross on his son. His son isn't even in the self contained class. He's a regular ed student. So there were two marks against this woman and I hadn't even stepped into the building yet. We chatted for a bit and it was about time for my meeting. I was really thankful to have the opportunity to speak with him. I will admit it. I prayed to God that he be there so I could talk to him.

His son is able to tell him what is going on in the school and who did what to him, whereas my child can't tell me what is happening in class. So a blind side is never a good thing to get.

I checked in for my IEP and asked to speak with the principal. She was in meetings all day and I would have to make an appointment to see her. No surprise on that. I've gotten that a lot since Doodle started that school. I left a detailed message where the two ladies in the front office were appalled. And then the words no school wants to hear were dropped. ADAP has been contacted and informed of this situation. And I did make them aware that ADAP are the lawyers that we as special needs parents have to go through for our state.

15 minutes later I was called to the back for my IEP by Doodle's teacher and yeah she got the look too. Normally, I'm so laid back. I let the teacher do her and I do me. I do what she asks of me when she needs my help, I'm always happy to see everyone. I told her what happened that morning and told her what I heard in my mind and yeah I used choice language. I told her it made me immediately think where in the HELL is the teacher? And why is my child not being taught in school. That's what I'm sending her to school for.

I was assured that was not the case and the thick folder was the proof in the meeting which showed Doodle was being taught. She had all of Doodle's work and documentation of data collection as proof that Doodle had no issues with doing work. And she had been doing work and learning since the first day of school. She wasn't even aware of this behavior that was described to me that Doodle was suppose to be doing. She made the same mention that I did with my friend from Autism Speaks and Doodle's previous para. It's not normal autism behavior. Now, the stemming that is normal of a child on the spectrum and the stemming was this woman's other main complaint. That seriously can't be helped. It's like breathing to them. It's also a key factor for me and others who are proficient in autism that the input output is out of balance and that yes this has to be corrected which is why a specialized classroom has sensory bins. To get that corrected immediately. That way they don't have to stem, they have an alternative to correct the issue. Doodle's teacher informed me that I was the 5th complaint from a parent about this para, in a week. And I told her the sixth is sitting out in the parking lot. And she looked at me like, huh? And I told her what my friend had told me about what happened with his son.

At this point I'm not the only one feeling like I've been blind sided. When the speech therapist came in I was asked to re-tell the issue that arose that morning. As I was in the middle of this the Para came to the door to inform us that we have to move the meeting to the principal's area. The principal asked to speak to me alone. The principal informed me that she was aware that I contacted ADAP and asked if we could get this resolved without them. I told her yeah we can. And to see how serious I was over my contacting ADAP she stumbled over the term of ADAP and asked me what it stood for. I opened my binder and showed her my contact person the full name of ADAP, and their number and contact email address. She asked for what happened that morning and again I told her my incident. The words out of her mouth were OH HELL NO! By the time I finished I told her that there was a parent out in the parking lot with an issue with the para too and told her about the marking on his son was what his father said was a slave marking. And that his son was not to be labeled as a slave. He was just as furious over his situation as I was over mine. At this point the principal informed me that this person was gone, She wasn't having any of this behavior out of someone who was suppose to take care of children in her school. Informing the principal that I was aware of the rules and conduct of the classroom that a para can't tell me I have to medicate my child and to correct behavior of my child when she is in the classroom, as it would result in the teacher loosing her license.  She told me that teachers and principals are not allowed at all to ask a parent to medicate their child. It's inappropriate and I was correct that I'm not allowed to correct an issue that a teacher is to correct. I walked with her outside and pointed out the parent who was livid as well and went back in for my IEP review.

You have to be aware of the boundaries of the classroom. You have to respect it. That's how your child stays safe and you have piece of mind about your child being away from you for 8 hours in the day or however long your child is in their care. You will have horrible teachers at some point in your education years. Doodle had one when she first got into kindergarten. That led to a regression. I promised myself when Doodle was moved to a new school in the middle of the school year for health reasons from a tornado that ripped the school off the map in our area, I would not deal with another regression!  Doodle's teacher from the middle of kindergarten through second grade, taught me so much. My friend who I met at our designated bus stop those years taught me so much about rights and handling the schools with my child. I seriously love all those women.

By the time the review was over (we were all in agreement that it was best for Doodle to attend this special school for 6th grade) and Doodle and I were back at home, the school principal called to inform me that HR had let the para go. There would be no more issues with this woman on campus. I really don't like that she lost her job but you can't be out of line or overstep boundaries with parents and the IEP's. That IEP is a corner to corner binding contract that can not be broken.

I really wish that I could say that I made all this up but there is no way that I could ever make up a story that my Wednesday was. It made it the wildest day I had ever had in a very very long time. I liked the para, I respected the para, I respected her job because I know it's not easy. She and the teacher have more on their plates then I do with just me having Doodle on my own. And the teacher isn't exactly short handed as there is one other para in the class and another special education teacher down the hall with para educators as well. I do not know of what the complaints were from the other parents all I know of is what happened to me and my friends child.

Two little side notes. 1) Don't ever let anyone from a school talk down to you or make you feel as if it is your job to correct issues that are happening in the school. If it's your choice not to medicate your child that is your choice just like it's my choice not to have Doodle on medications when her behavior can be controlled when input output is out of balance. 2) Even if I wanted to medicate Doodle I could not. The toothpaste that I create for her would cancel out the medication as the bentonite clay I use in it removes chemicals from Doodle's body.

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Now that you are a little more informed about you and your Rock Star child I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Chill out! We've got this handled!