Fears, Hopes and Dreams Autism

When it comes to the diagnoses of autism it can be a scary thing for parents to deal with. So many things run through your mind when you have a child with little to no speech. Your world becomes dark and depressing. The hopes and dreams that you have for your little one are dashed. And you feel as though you are living in a nightmare. How can I be a parent of a child that has autism? Please just let it be something else you may think. Any thing but autism. As a parent of a child with Autism I never felt the way that most parents have felt when their child was diagnosed.

When Doodle was diagnosed, to me it was a relief. I now have the steps of getting my child the specified help that she needs and from there it's a possibility she can get better. Doodle was diagnosed as mildly autistic. Meaning that she can overcome so much with lots of help and lots of therapy.

The main thing that I've come out of this diagnoses is that the first three years are the hardest. You have no idea what to do or how to do it or where to go. Doodle was in a program called helping hands. That was from the age of 2 until the age of 3. At the age of three she was able to get into Easter Seals for speech therapy and from there to Occupational Therapy. At the age of 3 she was also able to receive school services.

Doodle has been going to school for more therapy which included learning how to interact with peers her own age since 3. There were a lot of times I worried about her. I never heard Doodle speak until she was 6 years old. Even when we did what is known as outside therapy she didn't speak. That was frustrating. Seeing your child try to make the words come out. Making sounds for bubbles or to play with the cars. Special seats to sit in. Learning how to button a shirt or how not to use palmer grip.

Doodle is stubborn. Does what she wants when she wants. By the time Doodle got into the great school because the kindergarten she went to was ripped off the map by a tornado, she had been regressing. To me I never thought I would see a day that my child would speak. I didn't have any hope of her learning how to read. I had lost all hope and the happiness of being able to get her help when she was diagnosed was gone.

The new school was fantastic. They took a strong willed child and forced her to work. And that was something I had to learn myself. How to force Doodle to do what she needed in order to grow mentally. Doodle learned how to read, write and do math. Her drawing skills are fantastic now.

Let's not look at our children on the spectrum as our world being over. Let's look at them and say I'm going to find the key to help you unlock your mind. These are children that can do so much with the love that we can give them. They can flourish. I can't keep a plant alive but I can help my child grow and flourish. She can work the iPad without any help from me. She can work the dvd player better then I can. And she can change the colors on the tv. I'm still trying to fix that. Don't know how she did it and I just can't figure out how to fix it.

She's capable of so much and I'm not going to stand in her way. If  I have to push her then that's my job to push her out of her comfort zone. Because living outside your comfort zone is how you grow. It's how you learn new things and experience so much in life.

Today I challenge you as a parent of a child on the spectrum to have a movie night with your kid. Pick their favorite movie, sit on the couch or in a theater and eat popcorn together. Laugh together and spend time together. They are only kids once in their lives and that's a time that is the most important for them to grow. Sit in their world for 30 minutes. It's a life changing experience. I will admit that I haven't had the chance in the past couple of months to do that until this morning. Where she explored while waiting on the bus I explored with her. It used to perk her up and take notice. The stemming would go down. Today it irritated her. I could care less the reaction, just as long as I got a reaction. Even if your child is older, try it. You might be surprised at what you learn.

Love your kids. They are a blessing. Don't hate the diagnoses of autism. I can live with autism. I would be devastated more if my child were given a diagnoses of cancer. I'm thankful I have my child the way she is. She's funny and smart and so artistic. I have my child to hug and love on everyday. I'm thankful I can pack her snack box for her for school. I'm thankful I can lay out her clothes for school and brush her hair. Most parents don't have that and many parents who are raising kids on the spectrum don't understand that.

See you guys on the flip side.

How have you changed my life Autism

In a lot of the groups that I'm in for Autism the key question happens to be what was life before autism or how has autism changed your life? I understand they are asking these questions because they don't want to feel that they are the only ones who are going through this. I never comment on these threads because if I don't feel the same way as others it usually starts fights. At least every other week this question pops up.

Yes, I have been in the same situation as the other parents but I don't let that define me and I don't live in the past. The day Doodle was diagnosed with autism was a day of relief. I didn't cry and I wasn't upset. The relief was that now we could get Doodle the help that she needed. There was no more wondering what type of help she needed or grasping at straws. When you don't know what's wrong you can't treat what's wrong. I mean if you get a paper cut on your hand you don't get a cast for your leg.

There are stressful days. Days I don't remember to use reinforcements to redirect bad behavior. Or days where my schedule is so out of whack that I have trouble keeping up with Doodle's school stuff. And when I say stressful days I mean I'm breaking out in hives. Normally I thrive on stress but some days I just can't handle the bad days of autism.

I try to keep Doodle progressing. Some days are better then others but that's okay. Not everyday can go the way we want it to. Life is what you make it. If you make everything a struggle all you will do is struggle and stay frustrated.

Doodle stopped poop smearing when she was almost 7. And that was on the advice of our pediatrician. It was something that not everyone agrees on. I was at my wits end and did what I needed to do to help Doodle and it worked! I would say most parents don't approve of this but that would be a lie. It's more like 99.5% of parents don't agree with this. But had I taken Doodle to her pediatrician or the emergency room they would have done the exact same thing. As per her pediatrician. And I've done the same thing for myself. Who knew for me it would be the trick out of diapers and out of poop smearing.

This became the day that Doodle became 100% potty trained and we ran out of the poop smearing phase and diapers. Yes, Doodle was still in diapers at the age of almost 7 years old, not uncommon for most parents dealing with autism. It took about an hour out of my day. And in this hour there was a lot of frustration. Doodle sat on the potty screaming her head off but once she pooped in the potty and saw what she did, never had another issue of poop smearing or screaming for hours. Or laying on the floors for hours trying to hold in poop looking like she was having a seizure. We went through that phase since she was an itty bitty. At 3 months she had started this weird seizure thing she did. And it's rare we even see this behavior anymore. She did have an episode twice this summer.

I'm a firm believer in being a strict parent. We have a strict routine down to the very minute of what she is to do every single moment of the day. And she has to follow this schedule. This keeps me on track and it sometimes keeps bad behavior in check. As she doesn't have time to do anything other then what she is suppose to do. Sometimes she will kick off and have issues but that's because she doesn't want to follow schedule. When Doodle was in the first grade I was informed that children on the spectrum thrived on picture schedules. As long as she knew what to expect or what she was suppose to do she stayed on task. If not she was punished by sitting in the corner.

Before this school Doodle was a wild child. Did as she pleased cause I was thankful that she was diagnosed but no one taught me what a child on the spectrum needed rules and boundaries. I think I felt bad at the time that she was considered disabled. She couldn't help the fact that she couldn't communicate. Though we did a lot of therapy since the age of three. And I mean a lot! Her pediatrician said that Doodle was the only child she cared for that had so much therapy and hasn't progressed. This was by the age of 5 and after 2 to almost 3 years of therapy. She had no speech so communication was always wanting to be held and she used us as tools to reach things she wanted on top shelves. She's always been a smart cookie just couldn't form words.

By the age of 6 1/2 Doodle was given a communication book. And that's when words really started coming out. She would have to flip through her book and point out what she wanted. And she had to try to sound out the words.

Living with autism is just like living to breathe. It's not something I'm going to think about every moment of the day. My role as the parent is to be a parent. Teach Doodle the difference between right and wrong and to teach her things that she's missed out on in her life. Like the time she was in school and the teachers didn't want to teach so Doodle regressed. So at home I purchased books based on what I know she could do and the next lessons up. The reason I didn't have issues at home with her was because she was learning at home but not at school. Which is why she had so many issues at school. That summer was rough. Like I said before I use a schedule because she knows what to expect but when everything is mixed up you get a little confused.

I look at Doodle as a regular child because that's how children want to be treated, as normal children. They get enough stares and whispers when out in public. Let's give them a little peace of mind. And I don't ever treat my child as if she's a nuisance. No child should feel they are not wanted. They didn't ask to be here and in my opinion, they are a gift. Most couples can't have children. Here I had a child after 3 miscarriages. I was entrusted with this life. And it's my job to make sure she's challenged, she thinks for herself and grows to be the next Dr. Temple Grandin. Because Doodle has the same form of autism as Dr. Grandin.

My job in this life is to be a teacher, a gardener, a mother, a lawyer and the sun. A Teacher to help her learn. A gardener to help her grow in each season of her life. A mother to hug and comfort her. A lawyer to fight for her and her right to learn. And the sun to give her room to grow always watching over her and give her a bit of myself so she can be who she is and enjoy life.

Doodle teaches me something new every day. She's almost like me but yet not like me. She's a tom boy just like I was at her age. She's an artist that love's Japamation, me I'm an artist but I can't stand Japamation. She's a crafter who is in the same level of crafting as I am. My skill level in crafting is extreme crafter. She's imaginative and that's always the best part of childhood and adulthood. If she keeps up with her imagination just think of what all she can do. For me I use my imagination to come up with wild stories of things around me to make people laugh.

I love my life with Doodle. She was diagnosed as mildly autistic and thanks to regression she hasn't grown mentally the way that she should have. I have to work harder as her mom but that's okay. I'm willing to work harder with my daughter. Most mothers are working hard for their daughters to learn dance, cheer leading, gymnastics or something else. I just have a different form then they do. Autism is all I've known with my child. I mean I used to babysit kids when I was fresh out of college. And some of those kids oh geez I'm really thankful my child doesn't say some of what those kids say. I don't have to worry about my child being selfish. I'm just enjoying how funny she is and how matter of fact, even though her speech isn't that good. She speaks like a one year old. One word responses or extremely fragmented sentences.

I have a really great support system. A few friends and I founded our own autism group on Facebook and we make it a point to remind people that we are the support system. They aren't doing this alone. But we are normal and we push. We answer questions when needed, we give or get advice when needed. We have admins that specialize and different aspects of what you would deal with when it comes to autism and we even included ADD/ADHD because that's a "kin".  I specialize in IEP's as that's what I'm most familiar with in my state. One woman handles 504's because that's what she's proficient with. One for Asperger syndrome, one for autism and one for ADD/ADHD. And shhhh we also have admins that are nurses. But we will never say who they are.

I'm not trying to type up a tome today and there is still so much more work that has to be done before I head into work to teach a class tonight. I just figured it was time to hop out of my comfort zone and answer a question that rears it's ugly head every single week in the autism groups. And as you can see I'm not a negative mentality. I'm an optimist but that glass is always gonna look full for me.

See you guys on the flip side.

School routine, home routine Autism

It's Monday and for this day I'm writing the blog while my other computer restarts so I can work on the magazine. I've kind of been putting it off for about a week or two. I need to get at least 5 projects written out and 5 crafts actually done. October gives me more of a crafting opportunity so I'm going to be working on two magazines for this week.

Doodle has fallen into school routine with no issues. Considering she was on a wonkie sleep schedule for 3 weeks before school started. And she's taken to getting up at 6:15 every morning with no issues. Though she is still waking up to giggle at 4 or 5 am. That's not cool! But I really don't have to do prompts to get her out the door. She did not want to go back to school this year.

The good news is the school is going to be using EDMARK to teach reading this year and all the teachers are learning how to use the program. I'm really happy with this decision, this is the program that Doodles' teachers used when she was 6-8. This is how she learned to read, write and do math. So I'm happy she is back on track to accomplishing her goals of speech and reading. In a way I kind of wish the kids had homework. But it's okay because there are times that I can't do homework with her depending on my schedule with Michaels craft store. I don't work every single night as an instructor but there are days when I barely have time to get her fed and me get out the door to be on time for work.

And Doodle does want a fish. I do not want a fish. In all honesty this fish is coming to our house to die. I won't lie. The gerbil was complaining because he was out of water yesterday. And the gerbil is one of her responsibilities. I did buy her a little fish bowl at the thrift store. I have a new type of class that I'm going to be teaching on Thursday that lots of people have been begging me to teach for over a month. The only problem is I don't have denim jackets. The hottest rage is painting scenes on jackets and pants pockets. I do have some lesson plans I can use for this. And it's gonna be a paid class so no big deal. Any who, she will need to clean that fish bowl and get the bowl ready for for her fish. She will be getting a few things on Friday and on Monday I will purchase her fish. I'm not trying to go broke, but children on the spectrum need to learn responsibility. Wish she would take up to going back on the responsibility of the gerbil. But it is what it is.

So there you have it in a nut shell. I'm currently waiting on the vinyl shop to open, typing up this blog and cleaning up the adobe computer. Being back on school schedule is going great. A large shout out to the bus driver for actually picking up every single day at 6:30 am. Not a time I am able to function. Last year I was rolling out of bed at 6:30 am. And now I wake Doodle up at 6:15 to get her dressed, teeth brushed, hair brushed and out the door with her snack box and book bag before the 6:30 alarm lets us know that it's time for the bus.

See you guys on the flip side.

First day back to school, autism

Yes, you read that title correctly. It's the first day back at school. Doodle is back from her fathers house and though she didn't want to go back to school, that's where she is currently. As I have said in previous posts I don't like for teachers to pay for stuff out of their pockets for their students. So this morning was the drop off of the first day of school. I also had extra items to drop off that her teachers have requested. Yes, you read that one correctly too. Teachers!

At the school Doodle goes too she's no longer stuck in a self contained classroom. She's switching classes like a regular ed student. She has 5 teachers and 5 rooms she has to switch too. Which means she has to learn a schedule of who to go to and what time she goes to them. If she were in a regular school for middle school she would be stuck in the same room all day long and only allowed out for lunch, P.E. and going home. That's not the way that a special needs child should be treated.

This morning I dropped off all of the paperwork that the librarian wanted that I have for crafts. I dropped off feathers her science teacher wanted. Her science teacher was her homeroom teacher last year and she knows Doodle pretty well and knows what motivates Doodle to do work. And her reading teacher requested plastic bin photo boxes that were on sale at work last week.

I ordered Doodle's Friday shirt which will be in on Friday. She can wear last years shirt, that's no big deal. And I dropped off all the medical supplies. Doodle has asthma and can't use an inhaler. Technically, she can but it doesn't work well with her body. Discussing it with our pediatrician we all agreed it was best to just stick with the machine you plug into the wall, it worked better and cleared her airway faster without having to go to the emergency room. I filled out all the paperwork with that, the nurse said she would send my copies home this afternoon.

The first day of school our parking lot was filled to the brim. Parents dropping off all the supplies that would be needed for the kids for the school year and their medical supplies as well. So I wasn't the only parent with extra to drop off. I dropped off the list of supplies when I went in to meet the teacher last week. So I was good that all that was already done.

Doodle has her new shorts and pants for the school year thanks to her father. That was a lot of driving around to find sturdy shorts that will last her through the school year. Pro parent tip, Dickey's pants last a long time. Doodle wears a pair that used to belong to my grandfather. They came to us brand new looking and it's the only brand I have found that so far have lasted to the next school year. Anything else Doodle rips or busts out the seem of. So if you need pants and shorts that last go with Dickey's.

I have first day of school mommy stuffs that I get to do! Best friend time! See you guys on the flip side.