Every parent is going to be different when it comes to raising their child(ren). Every child is different when it comes to being normal or having a disability. This is what it's like for me to raise a child on the spectrum.
I know not every one is going to agree with the way that I parent. I do the best that I can the only way that I know how. There is no manual for parenting and there is no manual for parenting a child with a disability. I love my child and I wouldn't see my life without her. She is my everything.
Like a lot of children on the spectrum there are the autism quirks. Poop smearing, lack of language, refusing to be held or touched, the high pitched squeals, running back and forth from one side of a room to another, slamming doors, throwing doors open, stemming, spinning, not sleeping, etc, etc. That's a lot to deal with on a daily basis. And this was Doodle's quirks. I hated the poop smearing. That was a miserable time in my life but she did stop when we found out why she was poop smearing. She probably left that stage around the age of 7. We worked with our pediatrician to figure out why this was happening. And now Doodle has a regular digestive cycle.
She still has a lack of speech, but that is normal considering that she went through a regression 3 years ago. She has made an effort to say a complete sentence, which is awesome. She has a long road to go. I am routine strict but if she wants to go swimming or play on the iPad she has a few things that she has to do first. It's her routine to be self sufficient. She's not allowed to sleep past 9 am unless I sleep past 9 am. But if I get up before she does, which isn't always the case because she does sometimes wake at 3:00 or 4:00 am and I have to put her back to bed. This is every other day.
If she doesn't do what is part of her routine then she doesn't get the iPad to watch video's on. And yes, YouTube is connected on my account so I can see what she is watching. If she wants something I use American Sign Language and sign out what she wants. She has to repeat it in speech in order to get what she wants. If she refuses she doesn't get what she wants. If she get's mad about having to put away the iPad she will stutter the word done. No, d-d-d-done. And I will correct her because she doesn't speak like that and I don't want her to think this way is correct.
Most people would say that I'm a helicopter mom. I say, have you ever turned your back for a moment and found a snake in your bed? Well, I have. I have to watch her like a hawk. Both inside the house and while she is hunting around outside, when she is suppose to be playing. One day the snake she picks up might be the wrong type.
Somethings you just have to hold a blind ear to some of the high pitched squeals. And you have to see that some actions they are preforming is them using their imaginations. Doodle likes to make driving a car motions like she is actually driving. Sometimes you can tell other times she's doing it so quick you can't catch it. Much like stemming. She goes over the top most days when making this motion she just about flings herself out of where she is sitting. Those I over look. She's having fun. And sometimes you just have to go to another room, do a project or finish up a project. I let her have her imagination time. Let her laugh, let her laugh like a maniac 3000 decibels higher then anyone should hear a sound. Sometimes you have to know the battles you want to fight and the ones you want to let go of.
Some days are easy and some days she get frustrated when she's cleaning up her book shelves. That's where she likes to keep her special things. Aren't we all like that sometimes. It's life and before you know it life has changed. Don't regret anything in life. Don't be miserable. Parenting isn't easy and I'm not about to live my life with regret. Like the time I went to work and came home to Doodle playing with a snake in the bed. Yes, I had someone watching her and they weren't watching her the way I try to watch her. It happens. There is nothing wrong with being strict, there is nothing wrong with routine. There is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself.
I'm an autism mom. And if you've met one child on the spectrum. You've met one child on the spectrum. They are not exactly the same.
See you guys on the flip side.
