Isolation and Autism

So the hot topic of conversation in my Autism support group is the feeling of isolation that we normally feel. Because "our children" can't behave in public and when you have more then one on the spectrum it can be a bit daunting. Oh who am I kidding. If I had two children on the spectrum I'd probably lose it. Having just one child on the spectrum is hard enough to deal with on most days.

Yes, I am a business owner and yes I have a child on the spectrum. I wasn't able to get her into summer school so she's home for the entire two months. And lets face it, she doesn't want to listen this week at all. Unless we are at her favorite ice cream shop. It's only then that she will listen and follow directions. But I can't live at the ice cream shop. Believe me I would love too.

Most parents have pretty much embraced being isolated. Me, well... I work for myself. So if I can get work done while I'm at home I'm happy. That's all that matters to me. But I know how important it is for Doodle to play and interact with children her own age or close to her own age. That's why I always make sure that we have play dates. It's a great opportunity for Doodle to learn how to play with regular children and even with special ed children.

I always keep Doodle at arms length to me so that I can make sure that she doesn't hurt another child when we are out in public. And yes I continue to remind her that we need to share and take turns. She's almost got that down pact.

Do I like feeling isolated? Yes and no. Yes when I am working because the work just doesn't do it itself and of course no because I have a responsibility to teach Doodle every moment that I can.
I don't want to live regretting that I have a child on the spectrum. She's in there somewhere and on occasion she will peak out.

So yes this life can be a double edged sword but I'm a bit of a person that keeps to myself and don't really care to interact with people much. Hence the reason why my business is an online business. I'm pretty easy going and will go out of my way to help anyone out that needs it. But the days I can just veg out and keep to myself and let Doodle be on her own in the comfort of our home is well worth it to me.

And on a side note I have finished Doodle's sensory swing and she is loving it. And like I have mentioned before I will be creating two sensory swings. So life is just a big ball of sewing fun. Yay. And yes the tutorials are coming it just takes some time.

Have a great day!

Summer Break Autism

It's the summer and I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything that I have to keep up with. So at this moment, since Doodle and my publishing company are a little more important I will be posting once a week from now on until school goes back into session.

I have so many responsibilities including to friends and family it just makes since to do this. Doodle is doing great right now.

In the middle of summer the half way point to school starting back up I will be teaching Doodle to live service out. It is something that my ministry is doing and I think it's time that she learn how to help and do for others. Remember to do no harm and to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

A lot of people get this verse wrong. They treat people the way that they think they should treat others which is to treat them like they are karma. I don't believe in karma. I believe in Grace. I will go the extra mile to help someone or just give a smile when it looks like they need it. My favorite thing to do is find something beautiful about a person. Shoes, outfit, hair, their smile, something. Sometimes a person just needs that.

Look for us once a week.

Have a great day and love you all!!!

Pictures of Autism

Yeah, it's the summer and there is a lot that has to be done with Doodle being home. I barely have time for myself. Keeping her busy and trying to keep up with everything means that today you guys get pictures only. 

Have a great day guys.

Play dates and Autism

So this summer I will not be defeated by tantrums and the sever aspect of autism. This summer she has play dates. The most she has ever had in her entire life. She has a friend down the street. There is a boy she plays with next door and two friends one town over. That last one is worth the drive.

Children on the spectrum learn from regular or "normal" children. It's the mimicking that they do that helps them learn. They see other children doing it they will more then likely do the same thing. Today Doodle learned about water balloon fights and how much she loves it. She chased the little boy next door around with water balloons and of course he chased her first. She laughed, she screamed. She was acting like a normal child.

And remember that's all that children on the spectrum want is to be treated like a normal child. They don't like for you to talk about them like they aren't there. For the girls they like to have their nails painted, even if the polish is only on their fingers for 5 minutes. They love to wear make up and eat at the ice cream shops with other kids.

I can only tell you what it's like raising a girl on the spectrum. I have no clue what boys like to do. For Doodle she likes playing in mud, sand and water but she loves doing her girl thing. Shopping is her worst habit as most of the time my pocket book can't handle it.

The two friends one town over are special needs friends and it's great for her to play with them and interact with them, I really prefer that she play with kids that she can mimic that don't do the same exact thing she does. Because yes they have autism as well.

It's finding that balance that really counts when it comes to special needs children. There is so much to factor in when raising a child with autism. It's not easy like for a regular child that can tell you what they do and don't want to do.

In later posts I will discuss different ways I get the words out. But by far my favorite is when I call Doodle's name point to my nose to make sure I have her attention and just tell her what to do using sign language. I have better responses with her actually paying attention when I use sign language. If I tell her to stop she won't but if I tell her in sign language she normally stops. And most parents just think I'm threating to beat her. Stop is a funny sign. But I really don't care what people think.

The little boy next door thinks the sign for all done is I'm going to spank you. It's pretty funny. He starts yelling, "Oh, you're going to get it!" But it's a great way to talk to her and I don't have to raise my voice. Just have to get her attention.

Well, this is on the verge of rambling so I'm cutting it short.

You guys have a great day and enjoy your summer. I know when Doodle stops picking at her knee and it heals up I will be taking her to the beach!

Depression and Autism

Let's change the subject for a moment shall we. I'm going to touch on a subject that needs to be addressed. Depression is the devil's playground. It's not the best thing to be in. And yesterday it hit me hard and fast. One moment I was just content. Trying to get all my work done cause there is so much that I have to do and get done.

Yeah, working for myself gives me the luxury to take care of Doodle and drop everything at a moments notice. And for a few days I've had people on my back, I need this done for one company and when is the rent money coming, when are you getting divorced. It came at all angles all at once.

My business partner forgets that I do have a publishing company that I work on and this blog to try to keep up with how Doodle is doing. Heck I thought my day was going pretty great.

Doodle doesn't speak like a normal child for her age. She speaks like a 3 year old. Some words are harder for her to speak. It's kind of like she has the Cindy Brady speech. The lisp. L's and R's are the hardest for her to get. Yesterday morning I went to put gas in my vehicle. Doodle of course was with me. And she asked what is that to a sound outside of the car. I told her someone is cutting grass. It's a lawn mower. So for a good minute she ran the word lawn mower over and over until she got that L down and was able to say the word correctly. I didn't have to prompt to correct her on the L. I will admit that I don't prompt to correct her on the L's or R's. If she can get close enough to the word I'm happy.

After that word she worked on vacuum. She insisted that she get the cuum down right as well. And yeah she did it. I was so proud I allowed her to get an ice cream from the gas station. She worked hard for it. After that we headed to Michael's to get some stretchy ribbons because Doodle has run off with all of the pony tail holders. They are somewhere around this house and over half have broken in half. They usually end up on her chipmunks or on "fish bags" that she creates to play with. I haven't seen a pony tail holder in several weeks. One that I would want to put in my hair, that is.

I had already purchased the things to make Doodle's sensory swing, because as we all know who really wants to pay $200 for a certain type of swing when you can just make it yourself. Yeah that's another project. And when the video is created up it will be loaded to JSN's youtube account which really has no video's on it right now. It has one but that video is private.

So as you can see my day was going pretty great. I'm thankful to God for the speech that Dana has and continuing to get. But when you have your mother after you over the rent that is due and Doodle's father not paying so I can play her rent it was the first to weigh on me. And then there is the business partner that thinks I have all the time in the world to just sit at a computer and do social media for the company that we share. I'm helping another girl with her home based business. I consider her a friend and want her to succeed. We are suppose to help others succeed that's our calling from God. Lift others up and speak life with prayers and thankfulness.

So here I am over here, friends calling wanting to know when I will get divorced and move on with my life. And seriously all I want to do is focus on Doodle and JSN. That's it. I could care less about what is going on in the world. Yeah, there are fish in the sea but I'm waiting on God. The voice of Jesus is the most important thing to me and his timing is perfect. God doesn't make mistakes. I know that. I live by that. But it's like I'm speaking but no one is listening to what I'm saying. So that's how my yesterday pretty much went. And that's how I ended up in depression.

There is this song by the Newsboys called Live with Abandon. Michael Tait says in the beginning, Chasing after this world makes me tired. And yeah, that is the truth. This is my go to song when life is beating down my door and I don't know where to turn. The depression hit quick. It was like a tornado just swept in and tried to take me out. All I want to do is just do me. I'm tired of being questioned over my life. I'm tired of people trying to tell me what to do. I'm trying to get my company out there, on the map. I'm trying to run with the big boys and I think that's my main problem. Running with dogs I don't have a chance of competing with. So you can see chasing after this world is tiring. But being a small fish in a big pond is no fun.

I've got friends that I've met all over the world, but no one offering to pray for me. Just everyone wanting to me to answer questions that only God himself can answer. What pulled me out of it was the Newsboys. Their song Live with Abandon was what pulled me out of the grips of the harmful thoughts. As the cloud wrapped around me I started craving that song. Craved it like food or drink and I don't know why I did. But I did. And just like that the thunder clouds lifted and I could breathe again. Give you everything I've got, Jesus.

I realized I wasn't giving Jesus everything I had because though I was trying to ignore the world but trying to keep up with it I was just running in place. Summer break is here and Doodle is all over the place. There are play dates and making sure that she gets the therapy that she needs, life can be exhausting. I've never complained about it because now is much better then when she was first diagnosed. All the doctor's appointments and therapy appointments were the worst.

And no I'm not looking to replace one man in my life for another. This is my time to focus on me and my business. I'm not going to pretend that life is grand. That's not who I am. Yesterday I debated of just stopping this blog. Stopping work on everything and just go to bed, throw the covers over my head and not deal with anything. But that's not me either. I've learned a long time ago, Weeping may endure for a night, but joy coming in the morning, Psalm 30:5.

And at this time as the song says I'm not looking back, I'm done with that. I want to live!

Yeah, I made it through the night with the help of the Newsboys and lots of frankincense essential oil. I practically bathed in it last night. But it was the song that started the wake up call. Like I've said already, depression is the devil's play ground. And yesterday God didn't want him to have a play ground to play in.

And as a matter of fact even though I don't have all of the next part of the rent God is still providing it for me. So there are no complaints on my part. I just need to always remember that God is in control and He will make sure that everything is taken care of. Focus Focus Focus! It just amazes me how God works. The devil will try to block you at each and every avenue but Jesus will always have my back, Cause Jesus is stronger and braver. He already fought this battle for me.

Today I'm focusing on creating JSN's blog to show people how to create their own Photoshop images using a free Program called Gimp. And it's a step by step. I've never done a tutorial like this and I haven't worked much in Gimp to be familiar with it. I do love Gimp, it does a far better job at coloring black and white photo's then Photoshop does in my opinion. And you never know where learning Gimp will lead me. I could be the next Terry White. For those of you who don't know, Terry White is the official for Photoshop. If there is anything that you need to know how to do in Photoshop it's his tutorials that people go too.

Wow, the morning is so much better then the night. I'm so happy and life is great! Hold on tight to Jesus and everything changes in an instant.

Have a great day and love you all!!!

Child left in car, Autism

So in the news is another parent that left their child in the car all day while they were at work. I see this happening all over the news every single day just about. Some of the comments really do make you think. "How can a parent leave their child in the car? Are we really so material that we won't forget our iphone but we forget about our children?"

And that last comment drives home the nail on an ad that I just created for my company. But it wasn't kids left in cars that I saw in the ad it was the printed book. As some of you may already know I'm a publisher. I create ebooks. And though I won't forget the ipad that Doodle has to have to keep her from meltdowns I don't carry a phone. If anyone wants to reach me they can wait until I get back home. My time is valuable and that includes the time I spend with Doodle.

I feel awful for the parents and their loss. But I can't for the life of me wrap my head around how a parent can forget their child in the car. When I had Doodle, I was excited and scared. What parent isn't scared. I didn't go anywhere without her. I took her everywhere with me. I hated having to lug the pumpkin seat around when she was itty bitty and would carry her in my arms instead of carrying that horrible infant car seat. She was never a day care kid.

Now Doodle has been locked in a vehicle before after she was diagnosed with autism. Her father locked the keys in the car along with her in the grocery store parking lot. He stayed by the car while I ran inside to get them to call the Sheriff's office to help get her out of the car. And once I did that I ran right back out to the car to stay as close to her as I possibly could. Yeah, he never heard the end of that one. Doodle had a grand old time watching the fire department fellows try to get her to open the door. She would lean forward like she was going to grab the inside handle and throw herself back into her car seat laughing the entire time.

They realized pretty quick she was of no help in helping herself. She was the star of the show that afternoon. The sheriff's office finally got the lock popped and I was able to get Doodle back in my arms. That was the only time Doodle was left in a car and I stayed right by her side as long as I could. I have never needed a cell phone or my purse in the back seat to know that my child was in the car. Like I said, she goes everywhere with me. And even now it's the same. Even the days she's throwing a fit and refusing to get out of the car. She comes in the store with me kicking and screaming.

Even when Doodle was in early intervention and went to school when she was 3 years old. When I would go somewhere I would always go to the back of the car to get her out only to realize, oh she's not with me she's at school. And still now, I will sometimes check the back of the minivan even when she's at school. I don't go anywhere without her.

Doodle and I don't share the same passions. We both love to draw, though mine is in photoshop and her's is with crayons and paper. I love Books a Million. She hates it. Though, I know why. It's the lighting. It's too dim in the stores and her sight sensory can't handle it. So those trips to BAM are roughly 10 minutes, in and out.

Doodle is my responsibility. It's my job to keep her safe until she turns 18. And yes, I'm hoping and praying she is like Temple Grandin. That she will be able to live and function like a normal adult. Well, as normal as can be given her autism. She wants to be a doctor and well Temple has already shown us that this is a possibility. So I'm going to do my job with pride and not forget about her. How can I forget about someone that has shaped and change my life so much. And on that note, I'm reminded that it's The Lord's time. As I write this blog the night before it is to post. Because I will not forget or be too distracted to post another blog.

You guys have a great day!

Just pictures today Autism