Relaxed day Autism

So here it is another beautiful day where I live. This is sunny fantastic weather. Doodle and I are in our shorts and summer shoes. It's suppose to be really cold tomorrow. So I've decided to force Doodle outside to play. No ipad. She's back up to 100% now and she's beaten the bug. Yay!

Sometimes children on the spectrum don't want to do what they are suppose to do. You have to force them. Her previous teacher used to do a lot of distraction or redirecting. Pretty soon my home and a friend of mines home will be filled with distraction toys. They aren't really toys but ways to do OT at home. I was told that Doodle loved to play in the OT bins. I will let her earn her ipad time once I'm able to get all my OT therapy stuff together. At least now she has kids that she can play with. I keep her on a regular play date schedule. And that's beneficial for her to know how to interact with other children. Where as before she would just play by herself and never with anyone else.

Sometimes as parents we just have to do what we have to do. Forcing our kids to do their speech and OT work at home. And in all honesty how are we suppose to expect our kids to progress if we don't continue the therapy at home. It's not hard, it's not a chore. That's the whole reason why I started doing this blog. I'm haunted by the children who were murdered because a mother said they weren't normal. Seriously, to kill your kids because they have autism is okay? It's not okay, that's just selfish. And let's not forget about the woman from last year who threw her autistic son off a bridge because life was too hard for her. She was collecting donations. Her son had a lot of the things that Doodle doesn't. Special therapy swings for inside the house. He kept to himself. Was well behaved according to relatives. She as a mother felt that she was overwhelmed and over worked.

Well, that's why you take some time for yourself. It's important to splurge on the mani pedi's. And I do insist that mothers take that trip at least once a month. Don't worry about shopping for yourself. Take time out for the $70-$100 mani pedi where you get the works including the massage. You'll thank me for it. Heck, you'll kick yourself in the butt for not doing it sooner. A friend of mine taught me that little piece of Heaven. She has a son that can't walk due to his disability and me, well I like to keep distracted with projects. Sometimes that means so many projects that I'm working for weeks on end. She told me that it's important for your mind and body to take care of yourself too. Never under estimate the power of friendship. If you have allowed your life with autism to take your friends away. It's time that you re-evaluate your life.

Though I'm 400 miles away from that friend, when I moved back home I was contacted by a friend from middle school. She has two children with special needs and one was just diagnosed with autism. Poor thing has been running around in a fog for years from being overwhelmed. Heck, pretty much life has ridden her hard. But I'm seeing the young lady now that I used to know. Fun loving, always with a smile and sarcastic remark. When I go shopping I take her with me. It's not like I go to the Gap or places like that. I love to refashion so you can find me at the Goodwell by the pound every other month. I even took her to the place where I only by pants and under garments. Ross Dress for Less. They aren't places that you would find my business partner and his significant other at but I am who I am. They aren't paying my bills or putting clothing in my closet. I am. Remember in a previous post I informed you that my husband kicked Doodle and I out with only the clothes on our backs. I'm having to replace a lot of clothing. Winter clothing and now I'm getting ready to start working on summer clothing, including bathing suites and under garments. Don't give me grief over how I mention the unmentionables, I'm old fashioned.

This week I'm trying to figure out my schedule because I took a mini vacation with Doodle. When her father comes down to see her he's not allowed to stay with my parents. I respect that and he's learning to respect it too. So he takes Doodle and myself to another city to spend time with us. I'm not gonna complain. It's the most time he's spent with either of us for well over 5 years. I would say that he's trying to make up time and work on the marriage. But he just recently bragged that the legal separation paper work came in. Doesn't hurt my feelings any. It means in 3 years the divorce will be final and I can finally move on with my life. I really don't think he wanted a wife anyways. I feel that he needed a full time babysitter for his two kids from his previous marriage that he had full custody of. But that's neither here nor there. I do know that the only thing that he regrets right now is the mounting debt he's collecting now.

Does that bother me? NOPE! I lost my business, the home we shared, all of Doodle's therapy things. I had to start over from scratch and really and truly I'm much happier now then I have been in years. I've rebuilt my business from the ground up. I've gone from 0 to 60 with less then $500 and now that the legal separation papers are in and I started the business over he can't touch it. Where as before my business is all he wanted. He even demanded at several points in time that I sell it. That's my business, I'm not selling anything. And my business partner doesn't have not one part in my company. He and I are just partners in the radio show and a couple of other direct sales business. It was the direct sales businesses that got my company back on it's feet. I'm a business minded person. It runs in my blood.

You will have people out there that don't need what all I have to offer. And you will have people out there that need it in the worst sort of way. It's about finding the need and filling it. That's business.

On that note I have things that need to be done. So you guys have a great day.

I'm back again, Autism

Now I've said this in previous posts that it's important for parents to take some time for themselves but little mini vacations are key to growing as a family. And yeah that's what Doodle and I did, we took a mini vacation. Went where it was a bit warmer and walked on the beach and played. Our vacation was hampered just a bit by Doodle getting sick and I want to blame that on going to the parades. Where I live Mardi Gras is a big thing. And the whole reason why I wanted to avoid it like the plague was the same reason why she got sick. Yes, I had the ear plugs in Doodles ears to soften the sound sensory which helped but I didn't have the rose colored glasses or the yellow tinted glasses. But that's not what made Doodle sick.

We were out with the crowds. You have your drunks and you have the ones that think I'm sick I need to get out there and have some fun. That could be the float riders or the ones around us. What will I do differently? Next year if we go again, I will boost her immune system a week prior to her first parade. You can buy little packets of greens from the health food store, that helped me get over the hump of the flu a couple of weeks ago. I will also be giving her immune building tea. It's such a pretty color of purple and it was another that helped me.

Doodle is still not up to full par but she's getting there. She just wants to lay in the bed and play on the ipad. But she is able to keep things down. And considering that she doesn't stop to really rest, her body has a hard time fighting infections. At least this way it lets her fight infections at her own pace. And of course I'm diffusing lots of essential oils. In the coming weeks I will be posting some video's of different ways to get your essential oils into the room without a diffuser. Cause you know as well as I do they are quite expensive. And no they do not call for baking soda. That one always drove me crazy. Use baking soda and essential oils as your air freshener. No it didn't work when you have sick kids in the house. Especially when you had a significant other and his children that could clear a room when they took their shoes off. I do not miss those days.

I do have a recipe for clearing the funk out of shoes but no one in the previous household wanted to try anything to do with essential oils. They were too good for that. Give them the most expensive chemical laden thing and they were just so ecstatic.  Because if you could buy it from the store and pay an arm and a leg it meant it worked. And surprise it never worked but they never gave up on it.

So on that note I'm hoping off here. Have a fantastic day.

This afternoon's walk with Autism

So this afternoon's walk around the neighborhood was an interesting one. Of course I am now walking the neighborhood with my camcorder. I don't have an iphone. I love my LG and I'm sticking with it. I don't use it for video just taking pictures on occasion. Well, here I am walking around the neighborhood teaching Doodle what a unicorn is in the Bible. And teaching her the history of when it was changed. After the unicorn lesson I went on to teach her what a heffer is. This lesson started as we were approaching the house where the little boy lives. The one that's been saying some pretty mean things to her. I've been waiting to say something to the family but only when the boy said something again. Well as we passed the house we were will into what a heffer was, yes I told her it was a cow. Doodle turned to the boy, his sister and their mother waved to them and said, "Bye, heffer. See you later." And yes I corrected her. I'm not raising a rude child. But I will admit that it was pretty funny.

And as some of you know in parts of the South Mardi Gras is in full swing. For those that have children on the spectrum you also know that it's a sensory overloaded time and not something you can go to. Well, thanks to the wonderful people at Publix where we live they had their own form of Mardi Gras. But it was more of a food tasting. I was all over that. What a perfect opportunity to try new foods that she would normally not try at home. Her favorite food at the event was asparagus. And she ate the entire thing! I got the recipe for that one. I was pretty stoked. She tried lots of other foods some she tried one bite of and some she ate up with no problems. So that pretty much tells me that I can branch out from noodles. Yay! I'm so sick of noodles it's not even funny. It's the only food that she won't turn her nose up and will actually eat. Yay, for trying new things.

So that was pretty much my day. Another fun filled mother daughter day. Yes I spend a lot of time with Doodle when she's not in school. She's  pretty interesting kid. If she didn't have any speech I would still be communicating with her even if it was through her art, which is the direct link to her soul and through her communication book. Life without her just would not be the same.

I hope you have a great day, it's time for me to get some work done.

Happy Friday the 13th, Autism

Yeah, you saw the title correctly. It's Friday the 13th and I'm feeling it. My coffee is not helping me to wake up. I'd better get my fanny in gear and figure out how to stop yawning or this is going to be a bad day.

So far this should be a pretty good day. Remember that you have an iep. And with that iep it is set up to help you as the parent. Remember me telling you about this little boy that says such horrible things to Doodle as we walk in our neighborhood. One I haven't seen him in awhile, two I got some great advice from Brent Hansen on how to handle the situation and some great advice from a friend of mine on facebook. I call her the kid whisperer because she turns parenting into an art form. She is a super mom with a full time job. She rocks no doubt about it. And third I've started carrying my camcorder. The father of the little boy isn't happy about me doing this but I could care less about what he thinks considering that he heard his little boy saying these horrible things and has done nothing about it. I have told Doodle's teacher about the incidents and they are working with me to get this corrected. There is no reason what so ever for someone to be afraid of a person because they have a "disability".

Now when I say that you have an iep that means anything that you see at home that you need help with correcting this is where the correction starts. IEP's are the best on getting you help. Do not fear the iep and do not hold back. You see behavior that needs to be corrected and that you are having a hard time correcting, this is where you get help. I love iep's. This is how Doodle grows. If you want too you can push the speech. Your school pays for speech therapists and OT therapists. Doodle was sort of cute with the way she said love and music. Lurshe and usmic. Well, now that she's 9 it's time that the Cindy Brady speech gets kicked to the curb. Take note of the words that your child has trouble saying and make sure that list makes it into your iep meeting.

Negative behavior can be corrected using your iep also. You can never go wrong with utilizing your iep. That's what it is there for. I've gotten a lot of speech correct and bad behavior corrected through the iep. And if you have a teacher that thinks this is beneath her then take this fight to the board of education. Your parental right assure you that your child has a right to free education. If your child has an iep and a regular education teacher, these teachers are not trained in helping your child the way that a special education teacher is. A special education teacher has a higher degree than a regular education teacher.

And don't have that mentality that just because a child is in special education they can't go to college. Yeah, I've had someone think that way. And of course they extended the no offense. Well, there's no offense taken. Kids who do not take honor classes can still get into college. I can vouch for that one. I got into college. Got my degree and it wasn't a degree that I really wanted but I was not about to waste my parents money. I went into the work force and continued to learn about business. The career I wanted you can not get in college. The internet was just for ready the news and getting electronic mail. So much has changed in 10 years. A lot of people are self taught on their business and I am one of them. We are a success as long as we are working on our business. But always remember that family comes first. Keep your priorities in check.

In closing, when you have a problem make sure that you get video. Pictures don't tell much of anything. Video works much better. And make sure that if this is something that effects your child's learning environment take it to your child's teacher. And most importantly, spin the negative into a positive.  This will throw your opponent off track and boost your child confidence in themselves. They've got enough against them and you love them more then anything in the world. Sometimes they need that assurance. Don't do the negative and don't leave a child in the fetal position sucking his or her thumb where they end up spending years in therapy trying to get over their stupid kids ignorance.

Have a great day.

It's a busy time Autism

Yeah I know the last time I came back to the the blog was to discuss an issue that Doodle and I are having while on our walk. Didn't for our walk yesterday as the day just slipped away from me. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things. I've got a friend who needs help with not only her child who was just diagnosed on the spectrum but also on herself.

Yeah, autism can be draining on the parent but it doesn't have to be. That's why I'm sharing all of my secrets to help you and everyone else that needs it. The best advice that you can get is from someone with autism. Well, that's not me. I don't have autism. I raise autism. But all of my advice that I share with you is from my own experiences with autism and advice from those who have it. Those who have a voice and live with it.

I mean seriously, how can I help Doodle navigate life if she thinks she's the only one in the world that has it. We meet with several people who are adults with autism. They are really cool! Awesome people to be around. You see the world in a different way because they think differently then we do.

And as I write this I'm reminded I have a homework project that I need to get cracking on. Doodle's school wants the parents to write an essay. It's a way to show the children how important writing is. Well, that's right up my ally. I'm a writer and a publisher. My only problem is that I'm also trying to learn how to code. And I also have two new product lines that I'm working on that are months away from rolling out.

They say that everything starts with 1 and that's your baby. Well, Doodle is my baby and she has a baby that I need to work on this month too. She has a book that she illustrated. It just doesn't have all the words to it. She has a little problem with getting out what she wants to say. I'm wondering how well it will work if I create little stuffed dolls that she can interact and play with that would help get that story out. She is so imaginative. And anyway that I can get the words out I'm all over. She can speak it's just sometimes she chooses to just observe. And there is nothing wrong with that because I do the same thing.

So with me being so busy this month I have decided that it's time I start learning how to video edit. Yeah, you read that right. If I can't keep busy 100% I'm not a happy camper. So I'm going to start vlogging. Some of the posts will be coming to you as a video blog. I have to learn it anyways for the radio show. We are making the move from radio to video.  And yes I'm the one who gets to do all the editing. It's best to learn it and know it. I've done a video using the program already. but that was two years ago and I really need to get back into creating video's. You never know what direction your company will take and it's best to try as many things as possible.

I've got a few ideas that only video will be able to portray well. Was to help. Though the pictures for some I know will end up on twitter.

So am I going a little off track by talking about all things autism and not much on business? No not really. This is an autism blog. Most parents who have children on the spectrum own their own businesses because it's hard to work for someone else and not be able to get away to help your child.

And as it's getting late and Doodle needs to get a bath, it's time for me to start the night time routine. That's the easiest time for me. That and doing Doodle's nails. Most parents trim their kids nails while their child is asleep. I don't have that trouble. I can trim her nails while she's awake. It does get easier with time. But my vlog will explain the easiest way to do it.

HAve a great day everyone.

I've got your back Autism. Dealing with Bully's

Do you guys remember that incident I wrote about where little kids were screaming out that they hate Doodle and they kept screaming it. Well, they live around the corner and our afternoon walks are becoming unbearable. It's a small "safe" neighborhood. Yeah safe is in quotes because it's a residential neighborhood where cars obey the speed laws. And I've never experienced bullying while walking before. Until this week. Twice this week this little boy has screamed out that Doodle is a freak. She has no outward physical appearance that would say she is different. He only notices she's different because of the class she's in. Yes, he goes to the same school as Doodle. I knew this day would come and I am very much aware that I am Doodle's role model and I have to watch what I say and do.

There are so many different things that I can do to show him the way he is behaving is atrocious but I feel it would be in pour taste and would not leave a good impression on Doodle. As in tell her to run from him and stay away from him because there's something wrong with him. Yeah he did that. Scream out that he's a freak and that no one should touch him because they will catch stupid. Yeah he did that too.

The parents were outside during both incidents and said nothing. It's not my place to parent other people's children. It is my responsibility to help a child in need. And well thinking about it I remember that I've stopped fights between kids before. This one boy was almost beaned with a glass bottle in the head by this girl who was far bigger then he was. The mother of this little boy tried to crawl my butt the next day for screaming at her son. When I explained why I was yelling and not at her son but at the girl who was trying to take the light from his little body she realized I meant no harm, though my raising my voice for everyone and God to hear scared him. Parents are a tricky beast to deal with. They will take things the wrong way even when you're trying to help their child. Well, this is my child and what he is saying is affecting my life.

I don't fight. I will threaten in anger. And I know that's not right to do, it produces evil in the heart. The only way to combat evil is with love. That's what I'm taught in the Bible. But I'm of the flesh. Jesus also said forgive them father for they know not what they do. And in anger you really don't know what your doing. Your not acting of the heart you are acting on the emotion. The frenzy of hyena's going for the kill. I know you've seen the videos of kids fighting on social media and youtube. They all act like animals in the wild. Like no one has had any type of proper behavior by egging things on because they want to see action.

I do know that Dr. Temple Grandin, who has autism, once beat the snot out of a kid when she was in school. It was in her movie. She's a tough gal. I don't want Doodle to fight unless she has too. I've seen Doodle beat up a teenager before. It was her half sister and the girl was tormenting Doodle because she thought it was funny. It was a good lesson for the teen in my opinion not to torment Doodle. But it set a bad example for Doodle. We don't get mad and sit on the neck of people pulling their hair and hitting their head on the floor. It's not how we act. Yeah, she's done that before. It was when she was first diagnosed and it was when she had no voice and couldn't say stop, you're not being nice. She did the only thing she could do. Retaliate. That was around the time when Doodle was on Regis and Kelly and that's how I found out Doodle was such a naughty child at school. Darn teachers that lie and say, She was so good today at school.

In actuality in iep meetings they don't really talk about behavior other then there are social behaviors in the class that we are working on. You know normal stuff, staying seated and doing work or we are working on sharing and taking turns. That doesn't tell you true behavior in the class. That tells you your child won't sit down and refused to do their work and is learning to share and take turns.

I will admit it. In high school I was a bully. I tormented this girl and for that I'm not proud of myself. I reconnected with her years later and apologized for my behavior towards her. I don't want to go back down that road ever again. It's not the best or proudest moment of my life and I am truly ashamed of that time in my life.  Would I go back and do things differently if I had the opportunity? Absolutely.  But I can't change the past. I can only change and shape my future.

So how will I handle this as a parent? With a pounding heart, adrenaline running as my courage builds. I will be going from soft spoken to roaring like a lion for everyone and God to hear. I will stand my ground and I will not back down. It's cowardly of me to hold my tongue and not speak up for those who can not speak for themselves. I will demand to know what she has done to him that gave him such fear of her. I will proudly tell him about how he shouldn't be afraid of people who create the xboxes, play stations, smart phones, ipads and computers. How she misses school for art shows and art contests because God loves her so much he gave her a talent not a lot of people can handle. How she has Jesus wrapped in her heart he finds absolute favor with her and he has a purpose for her. That he only gives the toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. That no matter what he says about her she is more loved because she's set for something great.

I will refrain from telling him things that will lead to him being placed in therapy with a complex. I will refrain from hurtful and devastating words. And as I listen to the Brant Hansen show I'm reminded that not only do we sin on the outside but we also sin on the inside. And yeah right now I have plenty of sin going on on the inside with the thoughts running through my head on how I want to crush a little boys spirit and crush his parents for not stepping up and being parents by correcting unacceptable behavior. How am I to spread the love of Christ with these thoughts? I can't. Which is why I will take the high road to my Lord and leave the evil where it belongs in darkness where the light will vanquish it.

If what all I say doesn't make an impact I will rebuke him and his whole family. Every time I pass that house either in my car or on foot I will bless them (not in the Southern way of blessing someone's heart). I will pray for them and I will love them. I don't love what the little boy is doing. Hate the sin not the sinner. It's time for me to be bold and stand for those who need it. Who need Christ and who need me.