Working for a giant corporation and having a publishing company are not the easiest things to keep up with. I also work for Grumbacher, an art company based in Massachusetts and new lines coming to the publishing company and art classes that I need to get taken care of. Throw a free monthly magazine, autism and a sick family member into the mix and you have a busy mom.
But in all honesty who isn't busy right now. There is so much that I personally have to get done in a day and quite frankly I'm dealing with burn out. There is a lot going on in my personal and professional life. So when I am able to write for the blog yay for me. But it's not gonna be easy to work on the blog.
Lots of people say that I am able to do everything and when I have deadlines I always hear you can do this for me and still get your work done. You always do. Yeah, I always do with a lot of stress on my shoulders. People don't understand how much that weighs on me and I'm not gonna show that on the outside.
Crafting is the way that I sometimes calm down and just chill. I do that with painting and drawing as well but I really can't get to that right now either. As much as I would like to. I just can't find the time for it all. I need to practice on my 3d resin art pieces. I would like to be able to teach that with my online classes but as of right now there just isn't the time.
So it's been really hard getting to writing on the blog. When I set up my priorities the blog falls on the very bottom of the list. One of those things that I just can't get it. It used to be that I would be able to write the blog Sunday night and have it posted on Monday morning. But I was also working nights and didn't have a magazine that I was responsible for. I just worked for the corporation and Grumbacher. Just had to make sure that I had books published. Now I have new lines coming out. Sure I'm not teaching classes in person anymore but I don't want my daughter to suffer without having me there for her. I can't be an absent parent. And that's my biggest fear is being an absent parent. She can't succeed without help and guidance.
I like having off days but I'm not giving myself that option with all that I do. Responsibilities are really important to me. It fuels my stress. And I can't keep thriving on that.
I know that it's important to have as much information on autism as parents can find and yeah I make raising a child on the spectrum look easy but what stresses one person out when it comes to autism doesn't stress out the other person.
Doodle can be easy to raise and there are days where she fights on what she's going to do and what she's not going to do. Also having a great support system is another way to get through this life. And that is really hard to find. I'm lucky. I have devised a tight support system. People that will pull me back when I need help the most. My family is pretty great about making sure that I have my own time.
It's not just autism life that can be stressful, but it's how you look at your life that determines how your life is actually lived. Some parents take the smallest things and blow them up to be something it really isn't. You pick and chose your battles. I let a lot of stuff just slide. Cause there really isn't a point in getting even more stressed out than what I already am.
It will be nice to get to a point where I can craft for myself. My daughter loves some of the crafts that I make. Half of what goes into the magazine for sensory craft are things that she personally asks for. And that's a lot of stress and research to make sure that I get it correct. Cause no one wants something that will be torn up. It has to last for a long time. The sensory blanket, that was a great idea in theory. It didn't have beads in it cause I didn't want to be cleaning beads up forever. Yeah, Doodle tore the sensory blanket up. The only thing she sleeps with is the jean material that was the top part of the weighted blanket. That has become her favorite blanket. It still has weight to it. So something that isn't so big is the way to go when it comes to a weighted blanket.
The lava lamp that didn't require heat to work or tablets to move, that was the best thing that I created. It lasted maybe 6 months before she tore it up too. But that's life with autism. Life in general is not easy but it's how you approach it.
So in conclusion I wrote the first part of this blog maybe two weeks ago and thought oh yeah I'll come back to this. Yeah I was able to come back to it but I've already lost my train of thought with it. I've got a lot going one. Large projects for the magazine and other things that need my attention. I'm trying to figure out a good way to balance my time so I can squeeze in more projects for my company and being there for those that need me with the blog. There is a possibility I may just close down the blog. Write advice and help in a book and call it a day.
Doodle changes so much as she grows and that means dealing with autism changes as well. So it's a toss up of what to do.
See you guys on the flip side.
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