Where I've been autism

 Working for a giant corporation and having a publishing company are not the easiest things to keep up with. I also work for Grumbacher, an art company based in Massachusetts and new lines coming to the publishing company and art classes that I need to get taken care of. Throw a free monthly magazine, autism and a sick family member into the mix and you have a busy mom. 

But in all honesty who isn't busy right now. There is so much that I personally have to get done in a day and quite frankly I'm dealing with burn out. There is a lot going on in my personal and professional life. So when I am able to write for the blog yay for me. But it's not gonna be easy to work on the blog.

Lots of people say that I am able to do everything and when I have deadlines I always hear you can do this for me and still get your work done. You always do. Yeah, I always do with a lot of stress on my shoulders. People don't understand how much that weighs on me and I'm not gonna show that on the outside. 

Crafting is the way that I sometimes calm down and just chill. I do that with painting and drawing as well but I really can't get to that right now either. As much as I would like to. I just can't find the time for it all. I need to practice on my 3d resin art pieces. I would like to be able to teach that with my online classes but as of right now there just isn't the time.

So it's been really hard getting to writing on the blog. When I set up my priorities the blog falls on the very bottom of the list. One of those things that I just can't get it. It used to be that I would be able to write the blog Sunday night and have it posted on Monday morning. But I was also working nights and didn't have a magazine that I was responsible for. I just worked for the corporation and Grumbacher. Just had to make sure that I had books published. Now I have new lines coming out. Sure I'm not teaching classes in person anymore but I don't want my daughter to suffer without having me there for her. I can't be an absent parent. And that's my biggest fear is being an absent parent. She can't succeed without help and guidance. 

I like having off days but I'm not giving myself that option with all that I do. Responsibilities are really important to me. It fuels my stress. And I can't keep thriving on that.

I know that it's important to have as much information on autism as parents can find and yeah I make raising a child on the spectrum look easy but what stresses one person out when it comes to autism doesn't stress out the other person. 

Doodle can be easy to raise and there are days where she fights on what she's going to do and what she's not going to do. Also having a great support system is another way to get through this life. And that is really hard to find. I'm lucky. I have devised a tight support system. People that will pull me back when I need help the most. My family is pretty great about making sure that I have my own time.

It's not just autism life that can be stressful, but it's how you look at your life that determines how your life is actually lived. Some parents take the smallest things and blow them up to be something it really isn't. You pick and chose your battles. I let a lot of stuff just slide. Cause there really isn't a point in getting even more stressed out than what I already am.

It will be nice to get to a point where I can craft for myself. My daughter loves some of the crafts that I make. Half of what goes into the magazine for sensory craft are things that she personally asks for. And that's a lot of stress and research to make sure that I get it correct. Cause no one wants something that will be torn up. It has to last for a long time. The sensory blanket, that was a great idea in theory. It didn't have beads in it cause I didn't want to be cleaning beads up forever. Yeah, Doodle tore the sensory blanket up. The only thing she sleeps with is the jean material that was the top part of the weighted blanket. That has become her favorite blanket. It still has weight to it. So something that isn't so big is the way to go when it comes to a weighted blanket. 

The lava lamp that didn't require heat to work or tablets to move, that was the best thing that I created. It lasted maybe 6 months before she tore it up too. But that's life with autism. Life in general is not easy but it's how you approach it. 

So in conclusion I wrote the first part of this blog maybe two weeks ago and thought oh yeah I'll come back to this. Yeah I was able to come back to it but I've already lost my train of thought with it. I've got a lot going one. Large projects for the magazine and other things that need my attention. I'm trying to figure out a good way to balance my time so I can squeeze in more projects for my company and being there for those that need me with the blog. There is a possibility I may just close down the blog. Write advice and help in a book and call it a day. 

Doodle changes so much as she grows and that means dealing with autism changes as well. So it's a toss up of what to do.

See you guys on the flip side.

New Year another day, Autism

Thank you so much that today is the last day for December.

I'm late getting the magazine done cause I was sick with the same stuff Doodle was sick with and that meant I could barely function. But naps were my friend. Doodle has taken to her Christmas presents. I have to push Doodle and keep her out of her comfort zone. Yeah, I know the comfort zone is what keeps our kids calm. Well, I'm not one of those parents. She somewhat loves learning as long as it's not at school. At home learning new things helps keeps her busy and out of trouble.

For the new year I'm going to try my hardest to turn her pictures she drew as a 6 year old into a book. That would be awesome to get that done around her birthday. But I myself am learning a new program for my publishing company. I'm keeping with my goals for myself that I have for Doodle. Stay out of your comfort zone.

Yeah, I know I already have so much that I do already and I am adding more stuff to my plate. I love my kid and I want her to have the same opportunities as a NT child. But she won't get there if I don't push her. No, I'm not gonna push someone else. My job is to push my child. Get my child to learn what she needs to learn. Practice, practice, practice. That's the key to meeting goals.

The saying in the autism community is, "You have to be taught something over a 1000 times before a child on the spectrum learns it". So there you go for how long it takes for your child to get where you can see change.

Today is New Years Eve and tomorrow is New Years Day. Start a visionary board on the goals that you want your child to reach. Just remember the hard work that you have to put in there to get them to that goal. Cause it takes teamwork to make that dream work.

See you all on the flip side and happy new year!

It's Labor Day Autism

This is the second time that I am writing this blog, mishap cause me to lose the other one. The time is flying by and growing even later. I don't know what the issue with blogger is tonight. Which is really a shame cause I worked really hard on the post I lost. So here we go again.

Hardly anyone knows how hard I work every single day. I have a magazine, a publishing company and a job I do on the side teaching art at a well known corporate craft store. You throw autism into the mix and the autism obsessions and well it can sometimes be a bit too much.

But this is my life and this is what I chose to do. The hustle is hard. Life has it's ups and downs but the question comes are you going to stay down or get back up and keep going? I don't rely on reselling things like many entrepreneurs do. I make everything myself and that includes my own soap line. It's a soap that I enjoy using because it removes all of the inks, dyes, resin residue, paints and the glues from EEG's.

At this point there is a waiting list. And this waiting list has been growing for quiet some time. And if I play my cards right I can get this soap in a few shops around town. I can either try to keep my soap local or go nationwide. It's all in what I chose to do. That's the beauty of life. You make it what you want it to be. The life of an optimist.

I'm not going to have this blog be long. I want to enjoy my Monday. Which is why I am working on the blog tonight. After I have finally gotten the magazine done and put up on the website with the help of my best friend. I will be working on the next issue come Monday and that's all I want to focus on besides Doodle. You guys enjoy your day.

See you guys on the flip side.

If you want to see the current issue of the magazine you can read it at www.jsncreative.com/ezine

How have you changed my life Autism

In a lot of the groups that I'm in for Autism the key question happens to be what was life before autism or how has autism changed your life? I understand they are asking these questions because they don't want to feel that they are the only ones who are going through this. I never comment on these threads because if I don't feel the same way as others it usually starts fights. At least every other week this question pops up.

Yes, I have been in the same situation as the other parents but I don't let that define me and I don't live in the past. The day Doodle was diagnosed with autism was a day of relief. I didn't cry and I wasn't upset. The relief was that now we could get Doodle the help that she needed. There was no more wondering what type of help she needed or grasping at straws. When you don't know what's wrong you can't treat what's wrong. I mean if you get a paper cut on your hand you don't get a cast for your leg.

There are stressful days. Days I don't remember to use reinforcements to redirect bad behavior. Or days where my schedule is so out of whack that I have trouble keeping up with Doodle's school stuff. And when I say stressful days I mean I'm breaking out in hives. Normally I thrive on stress but some days I just can't handle the bad days of autism.

I try to keep Doodle progressing. Some days are better then others but that's okay. Not everyday can go the way we want it to. Life is what you make it. If you make everything a struggle all you will do is struggle and stay frustrated.

Doodle stopped poop smearing when she was almost 7. And that was on the advice of our pediatrician. It was something that not everyone agrees on. I was at my wits end and did what I needed to do to help Doodle and it worked! I would say most parents don't approve of this but that would be a lie. It's more like 99.5% of parents don't agree with this. But had I taken Doodle to her pediatrician or the emergency room they would have done the exact same thing. As per her pediatrician. And I've done the same thing for myself. Who knew for me it would be the trick out of diapers and out of poop smearing.

This became the day that Doodle became 100% potty trained and we ran out of the poop smearing phase and diapers. Yes, Doodle was still in diapers at the age of almost 7 years old, not uncommon for most parents dealing with autism. It took about an hour out of my day. And in this hour there was a lot of frustration. Doodle sat on the potty screaming her head off but once she pooped in the potty and saw what she did, never had another issue of poop smearing or screaming for hours. Or laying on the floors for hours trying to hold in poop looking like she was having a seizure. We went through that phase since she was an itty bitty. At 3 months she had started this weird seizure thing she did. And it's rare we even see this behavior anymore. She did have an episode twice this summer.

I'm a firm believer in being a strict parent. We have a strict routine down to the very minute of what she is to do every single moment of the day. And she has to follow this schedule. This keeps me on track and it sometimes keeps bad behavior in check. As she doesn't have time to do anything other then what she is suppose to do. Sometimes she will kick off and have issues but that's because she doesn't want to follow schedule. When Doodle was in the first grade I was informed that children on the spectrum thrived on picture schedules. As long as she knew what to expect or what she was suppose to do she stayed on task. If not she was punished by sitting in the corner.

Before this school Doodle was a wild child. Did as she pleased cause I was thankful that she was diagnosed but no one taught me what a child on the spectrum needed rules and boundaries. I think I felt bad at the time that she was considered disabled. She couldn't help the fact that she couldn't communicate. Though we did a lot of therapy since the age of three. And I mean a lot! Her pediatrician said that Doodle was the only child she cared for that had so much therapy and hasn't progressed. This was by the age of 5 and after 2 to almost 3 years of therapy. She had no speech so communication was always wanting to be held and she used us as tools to reach things she wanted on top shelves. She's always been a smart cookie just couldn't form words.

By the age of 6 1/2 Doodle was given a communication book. And that's when words really started coming out. She would have to flip through her book and point out what she wanted. And she had to try to sound out the words.

Living with autism is just like living to breathe. It's not something I'm going to think about every moment of the day. My role as the parent is to be a parent. Teach Doodle the difference between right and wrong and to teach her things that she's missed out on in her life. Like the time she was in school and the teachers didn't want to teach so Doodle regressed. So at home I purchased books based on what I know she could do and the next lessons up. The reason I didn't have issues at home with her was because she was learning at home but not at school. Which is why she had so many issues at school. That summer was rough. Like I said before I use a schedule because she knows what to expect but when everything is mixed up you get a little confused.

I look at Doodle as a regular child because that's how children want to be treated, as normal children. They get enough stares and whispers when out in public. Let's give them a little peace of mind. And I don't ever treat my child as if she's a nuisance. No child should feel they are not wanted. They didn't ask to be here and in my opinion, they are a gift. Most couples can't have children. Here I had a child after 3 miscarriages. I was entrusted with this life. And it's my job to make sure she's challenged, she thinks for herself and grows to be the next Dr. Temple Grandin. Because Doodle has the same form of autism as Dr. Grandin.

My job in this life is to be a teacher, a gardener, a mother, a lawyer and the sun. A Teacher to help her learn. A gardener to help her grow in each season of her life. A mother to hug and comfort her. A lawyer to fight for her and her right to learn. And the sun to give her room to grow always watching over her and give her a bit of myself so she can be who she is and enjoy life.

Doodle teaches me something new every day. She's almost like me but yet not like me. She's a tom boy just like I was at her age. She's an artist that love's Japamation, me I'm an artist but I can't stand Japamation. She's a crafter who is in the same level of crafting as I am. My skill level in crafting is extreme crafter. She's imaginative and that's always the best part of childhood and adulthood. If she keeps up with her imagination just think of what all she can do. For me I use my imagination to come up with wild stories of things around me to make people laugh.

I love my life with Doodle. She was diagnosed as mildly autistic and thanks to regression she hasn't grown mentally the way that she should have. I have to work harder as her mom but that's okay. I'm willing to work harder with my daughter. Most mothers are working hard for their daughters to learn dance, cheer leading, gymnastics or something else. I just have a different form then they do. Autism is all I've known with my child. I mean I used to babysit kids when I was fresh out of college. And some of those kids oh geez I'm really thankful my child doesn't say some of what those kids say. I don't have to worry about my child being selfish. I'm just enjoying how funny she is and how matter of fact, even though her speech isn't that good. She speaks like a one year old. One word responses or extremely fragmented sentences.

I have a really great support system. A few friends and I founded our own autism group on Facebook and we make it a point to remind people that we are the support system. They aren't doing this alone. But we are normal and we push. We answer questions when needed, we give or get advice when needed. We have admins that specialize and different aspects of what you would deal with when it comes to autism and we even included ADD/ADHD because that's a "kin".  I specialize in IEP's as that's what I'm most familiar with in my state. One woman handles 504's because that's what she's proficient with. One for Asperger syndrome, one for autism and one for ADD/ADHD. And shhhh we also have admins that are nurses. But we will never say who they are.

I'm not trying to type up a tome today and there is still so much more work that has to be done before I head into work to teach a class tonight. I just figured it was time to hop out of my comfort zone and answer a question that rears it's ugly head every single week in the autism groups. And as you can see I'm not a negative mentality. I'm an optimist but that glass is always gonna look full for me.

See you guys on the flip side.

School routine, home routine Autism

It's Monday and for this day I'm writing the blog while my other computer restarts so I can work on the magazine. I've kind of been putting it off for about a week or two. I need to get at least 5 projects written out and 5 crafts actually done. October gives me more of a crafting opportunity so I'm going to be working on two magazines for this week.

Doodle has fallen into school routine with no issues. Considering she was on a wonkie sleep schedule for 3 weeks before school started. And she's taken to getting up at 6:15 every morning with no issues. Though she is still waking up to giggle at 4 or 5 am. That's not cool! But I really don't have to do prompts to get her out the door. She did not want to go back to school this year.

The good news is the school is going to be using EDMARK to teach reading this year and all the teachers are learning how to use the program. I'm really happy with this decision, this is the program that Doodles' teachers used when she was 6-8. This is how she learned to read, write and do math. So I'm happy she is back on track to accomplishing her goals of speech and reading. In a way I kind of wish the kids had homework. But it's okay because there are times that I can't do homework with her depending on my schedule with Michaels craft store. I don't work every single night as an instructor but there are days when I barely have time to get her fed and me get out the door to be on time for work.

And Doodle does want a fish. I do not want a fish. In all honesty this fish is coming to our house to die. I won't lie. The gerbil was complaining because he was out of water yesterday. And the gerbil is one of her responsibilities. I did buy her a little fish bowl at the thrift store. I have a new type of class that I'm going to be teaching on Thursday that lots of people have been begging me to teach for over a month. The only problem is I don't have denim jackets. The hottest rage is painting scenes on jackets and pants pockets. I do have some lesson plans I can use for this. And it's gonna be a paid class so no big deal. Any who, she will need to clean that fish bowl and get the bowl ready for for her fish. She will be getting a few things on Friday and on Monday I will purchase her fish. I'm not trying to go broke, but children on the spectrum need to learn responsibility. Wish she would take up to going back on the responsibility of the gerbil. But it is what it is.

So there you have it in a nut shell. I'm currently waiting on the vinyl shop to open, typing up this blog and cleaning up the adobe computer. Being back on school schedule is going great. A large shout out to the bus driver for actually picking up every single day at 6:30 am. Not a time I am able to function. Last year I was rolling out of bed at 6:30 am. And now I wake Doodle up at 6:15 to get her dressed, teeth brushed, hair brushed and out the door with her snack box and book bag before the 6:30 alarm lets us know that it's time for the bus.

See you guys on the flip side.

Week in my life as an Entrepreneur, Autism

I'm an autism mom. My life is about making sure that my child progresses and I don't take no for an answer. But my life is not just about my child because I have to make a life for us. I love Doodle and want to give her every option possible under the sun. Long gone are the days where we traveled so much for extra speech and OT therapy.

Doodle transferred to a school where she regressed to being mentally 2 years old and she was 10 years old. We had gone from almost being to her age mentally as she was physically. That was so hard to live through. It really felt like I was living in a nightmare. But the anger that boiled in me was the worse. And that bubbled for two years straight. All because the new school refused to listen and didn't implement the fundamentals for special needs children across the board. Something the entire class would have benefited from. Picture schedules, training, one on one. Never got that. It was basically two years of a free babysitting service. Home life was a nightmare and summers were the worst. The only school work she did was the homework sent home. And that's because I demanded that. But the homework was kindergarten work. Color the shapes, very simple math such as 1+2=. Doodle was frustrated beyond belief and so was I. I was that parent that held an IEP meeting every single week which is why I was not able to create the magazine sooner. The research that went into the meetings, the notes and graphs on Doodle's progress that needed to be created for each one. The convo's back and forth with lawyers. All of this became too much for the she was at at the time. So she was pushed into the special needs school of my choice. That along with one of my customers at the large craft store that I work for got Doodle in without the waiting list.

And with Doodle being in this school, which is considered the cream of the crop of schools for our area, it's just like she's in a private school. I love it. She's treated like a regular child with no issues. Which is what she wants to be treated like. All children with special needs want to be treated like normal kids. I have no regrets.

Everything for school has been purchased. I have to clean out my vehicle because I have so many canvases in them for future classes for my publishing company. And those need a lot of research for them. For the past three weeks I have been working every single day. Nights and then the flip to days and back to nights. It was getting seriously overwhelming. And of course the magazine had to be finished. My deadline was for the 26th of July and I had to meet that deadline. By the day of I still had to get everything put together. I got everything turned in 55 minutes before midnight. It was completed and my stress levels could be lowered. And now it's the 30th of July and it's time to created the next magazine.

But last week was the best week of my life. I had been working on a deal for awhile with another art company here in our town that finally came together. I invited all the employees to my class and most showed up. Yes, they are considered competition but hey I don't really care. Anyways, the key employees showed up and I was able to showcase my clear gesso. Got the deal I needed! When it comes to paint pouring even the ones who have never done a paint pour always want cells. That's not suppose to be an easy feat to accomplish. With my clear Gesso they are able to achieve that. I had been working on that deal for a very long time. But I got the deal and that's all that matters to me.

The next day district was in town and I had a class that morning. It was the perfect time to go for what I wanted next. I want to be the next Michaels Maker. I was given the endorsement from district and they are contacting the people that are in charge of that to make it happen. It doesn't hurt that I work hard to make sure we are number 1 in district.

But now that school will be getting back into session and Doodle will be coming back home in the next few days, my schedule is slowing down except for the magazine. But I can now breathe and juggle the rest of schedule with the publishing company.

But that's not the best news. The best news is one our regular customers came in to one of our events and informed me she was going to have her annual EEG and she didn't want to do it. I found out that after she's in pain for so long because of the glue in her hair and she was not looking forward. I informed her mom that I didn't have any regular size of my soaps but I would cut my bar I'm currently using in half and give that to her. This is a soap that I make myself. Created it up because Doodle loves bubble baths but she's highly sensitive to sls and slsa, so bubble baths are not always in her favor. These chemicals cause her to hurt herself because she feels as if she's being stabbed by 1000 needles. She hits her head, tries to rip her skin off. When you have a child with little speech or issues articulating what's wrong you do what you have to do. So I started making soap like my great grandmother used to do. From there evolved this soap. And I love this stuff. Not only is Doodle able to make bubbles in the tub with it but I'm able to remove dye, inks, resin, paint, stain and so much more when it comes to crafting and painting. I have people that use the soap to remove stains from clothing and get car grease off their hands and arms when they are working on their cars. Loads of uses. So now I have another customer and new batches of soap need to be made, which I haven't been able to get too cause there is only one of me. And the demand for my time and attention was overwhelming.

So that's how my week went and that's how life is during the summer. Next year I'm hoping Doodle will be going to see her dad earlier in the summer and she will be able to attend the special needs summer camp. I really think she will like that.

Well, that's how I roll. It's been a lot so I will see you guys on the flip side.

If you are interested in reading the magazine you can read it at www.jsncreative.com/ezine it's free and no I don't ask for emails and I don't have ads cause that sort of thing infuriates me. So it's kept off my website. Except for downloads. It's just required for the downloads of books, and soon online classes.

Summer Break Autism

Out of respect for the Holiday of Memorial Day here in the States I opted not to share the post yesterday. It was a time of remembrance for those of us that have lost loved ones in the service. Thank you to those who have gave the ultimate for your country.

It's the last day of school and everything is bitter sweet for me. I'm sad that I won't be able to see the normal faces that I normally see every weekday. Doodle is not eligible for summer help anymore. She hasn't been able to receive that since before pre-k age.

This morning I waved the bus off on it's last journey until they will be rolling again in the fall. This year I wasn't going to chase the bus down because I forget to get the harness off Doodle before the bus moves from my street, heading to it's next destination.

So today has been a cooking day for me and I've been prepping and cooking since the bus picked up this morning. I've also been checking my largest resin art piece. And that did not do so hot at all. But though this now has a lot of mistakes in it for the resin cracking, I can still work with it and embrace it. Flaws and all. I've been trying to stay as busy as I can all day today. I'll admit it, I teared up this morning as the bus pulled away.

And since today is the last day of school I had already made sure that I had a package of summer fun for Doodle for when she got home from school. Which is going to be earlier then normal because I'm picking her up today from school. I like having the opportunity to tell everyone good bye and that I too will miss them just as much as Doodle will.

And Doodle ran up to every single person that she knows at the school, hugged them and told them good bye. I know she loves the teachers there at our school and the kids, well she's making friends that won't treat her like she's got something wrong because they all have something wrong with them. So they all understand!

I'm blessed for Doodle to be at this school and I'm blessed that we have teachers that don't want to be babysitters but want to teach. They are very protective of all the kids at the school and that's the most important thing to me.

When Doodle came home from her early dismissal I went ahead and gave her, her summer package. A box of markers, a miniature bubble machine along with bubbles, Crayola clay and a drawing pad. There is an outdoor game but that will be when she is outside playing and I can play with her.

Well on that note I will see you guys on the flip side. I'm working on the magazine, still cooking and I have to get ready for my class tonight.