Bully's and Autism

So your child is being bullied at school. Well, what do you do? This is a very tricky situation. And most parents don't have a clue as to what to do. Here is the information to help you out on this situation.

We have children with disabilities. It's called special needs for a reason. It doesn't matter if your child is being tormented by another student or a teacher at the school. These are the steps you need to take and follow them to a T.

And before I begin on this. I know this works because I have used this. Not on my special needs child but for my regular ed student.

About 5 years or so bills were passed in every single state to address what parents should do in the event that their children were being bullied. Suicide rates had climbed because of children being bullied. So each State went about to help protect kids who were being bullied.

Keep that information in mind because this is the most important piece of information. In my State the letter that I had to work up you had to describe the mental state of the child, the incidents and the people involved.

But here is where I changed the letter to better suite my needs. In the introduction I informed the reader the day and the bill number of when the bill went into effect and what it was called. Here is the letter that I used back in 2010. I'm editing a lot on here to protect my privacy and location. But it shows you what the school has done wrong and why this action was taken. After the letter you will find the instructions for what to do and how and where to send it.

 May 12, 2010

County Board of Education

address 1
address 2

RE: (school) Elementary School

To Whom It May Concern:

In accordance to the State law of Alabama, known as the Student Harassment Prevention Act, also known as the Student Suicide and Violence Prevention Act, Act. 2009 571 passed on May 9^th 2009 of last year, we are hereby notifying you via letter as per law as what has transpired between our child, (Child's full name) and some of the students at (school) Elementary School.

(Child's first name) is a very timid child who has problems with emotions and feelings. She currently sees (therapist) for therapy at (therapy location) regarding these issues since last year. She also sees (Doctor), psychiatrist who currently has (child's first name) on Concerta 27 MG for ADD and Fluoxentine 10 MG for depression.

(Child's first name)'s depression stems from her constant bullying at (school) Elementary School, which has been an on going event since she was in the fourth grade. (Principal's name) is very much aware of the incident where (child's first name) was pushed down the stairs at said school when (child's first name) was in the 4^th grade which resulted in our filling out a police report at the after hours clinic for (Hospital and location of hospital, street address).

This year I was unaware of the bulling by students but have since found out last night after 5:00 p.m. when our son (child's first name) saw marks on (child's first name)'s arm, which (child's first name) had done in her math class under the care of Mrs. (last name withheld), her math teacher. She cut herself in math class when a boy, DeeVon (last name withheld) screamed out in class that (child's first name) stinks.  Mrs. (last name withheld) promptly told the student to shut up and went back to teaching her class, at which time (child's first name) took a pen and began to cut her arms because she was so upset over what the boy had said. Deevon is not the only boy that teases and torments (child's first name) at (school) Elementary School. The list of students that torment and tease (child's first name) incessantly is as follows:

Deevon (last name withheld), Namian (last name withheld), Jazlyn (last name withheld), Cole (last name withheld), Tara (last name withheld), Alexis (last name withheld), Asia (last name withheld), McKala (last name withheld) and a boy in Mrs. (last name withheld)'s class that (child's first name) does not know the name of.

The list of names that (child's full name) is called on a daily bases is Tissue, Stinky, White Trash, Messy, Flats, White ass ugly girl, Stupid, Ho, Whore, White bitch and Cracker.

(child's first name) has been pushed into lockers in the 6^th grade hall. She has also been shoved into the walls and sprayed with perfume.

The students have threatened her with threats of: I’m gonna beat your white ass, I’m gonna jump you, I’m gonna kick your ass and they have threatened her with physical violence such as: I’m gonna slap the white off your ass, I’m gonna throw you off the balcony, she has been threatened with being hit with a chair, threatened with being thrown out of the window in Mrs. (last name withheld)’s math class. McKala (last name withheld) has even threatened to throw (child's first name) through the wall. McKala (last name withheld) has even gone so far as to threaten (child's first name) to were she would not inform myself, (my first and last name) or my husband (the father's first and last name), because if (child's first name) told on her she would not only beat (child's first name)’s ass but promptly informed (child's first name) that she would “beat your momma’s ass”. Making (child's first name) too afraid to bring the abuse to me, my husband, to her councilor (therapist's name) or her psychiatrist (Doctor's name), for fear of McKala hurting her or myself (my first and last name).

Upon fully getting to the bottom of this violence in (school) Elementary School I have been informed that there are three teachers that are very much aware of the bullying but do nothing about it. The said teachers are Mrs. (last name withheld), Mrs. (last name withheld) and Mrs. (last name withheld).

I am also very much concerned not only in the bullying but that the school councilor saw fit to contact (child's first name)’s friend Jakemia’s mother but we were not contacted so that we could get (child's first name) in to see her psychiatrist immediately.

Sincerely,

Mrs. (my first and last name) and Mr. (husband's first and last name)

Parents of (child's full name), student at (school) Elementary School

Now if you have a regular ed student the steps you need to take to take control of this situation is send your letter to the State school board. Even if you have to fax it and then call to make sure they received it. Next step is to personally hand deliver to your County or City school board in charge of your child's school. Make sure the head of these school's or head of students services is on the letter. In your letter if you want put a cc in there letting all parties know who you have sent the letter too. You get better results this way. It shows that you won't be ignored. Last you send the letter to the school principal. The cc is the most important here. It show's the principal that you have gone far above their heads and you're not playing.

If you have a special education student your line of defense is different. The letter must go to the head of special education for the state, then the local school board (head of special education as well) and then the last person to get their letter is the principal. Again make sure that you cc everyone that is receiving your letter.

Make sure that you keep a copy of each letter that you send out and where you have sent it out too for your lawyer. Remember if you have a special needs child that is dealing with bullies, these letters will go to your advocate. If you are unsure of how to find your advocate read my previous blog post on IEP storms and Autism. If you are a regular ed parent you will need to contact a lawyer in your area.

Hope this helps you guys and have a great day!