The first song that Doodle ever fell in love with was I want to Break Free by Queen. For awhile there she was a huge Freddie Mercury fan. All she wanted to listen to was all of their music. And for some reason in her life the way that the Queen songs she fell for were the ones that made the most impact in her life and in mine. I want to Break Free was the first song. She was obsessed with the music video and would watch it on loop for hours on youtube. To me this was her way of trying to let me know she wanted to break free. What better way to say it then with music. Before I knew it this was the song that she learned. She could say about 4 words and yet she could sing this song. Word for word.
The next song was Breakthru. This song meant a lot to me. The words Freddie sings If I could only reach you, If I could make you smile. That would really be a breakthru. And there is nothing more that I wanted was to be able to reach her. To make that breakthru. It was at this time that Doodle had switched over to the new school with a teacher and para educator that saw promise in her. The time that she was making leaps and bounds. She was learning how to read and write and even do math. Our life was changing and for the best. Her potential was seen.
The last Queen song that Doodle became so attached to was Somebody to Love. Now at this point you would think that she was feeling unloved. And at first given the song I thought that for a split second, until you hear the lyrics. These lyrics are the most important part to hearing what my Doodle was trying to say, though the words or conversation wasn't there. This is not the full lyrics. But this is what I heard out of this song:
Take a look at yourself in the mirror and cry, Lord what did you do to me. I've spend all my years in belief in you but I just can't get no relief. Can anybody find me.. I work hard everyday of my life I work 'til I ache my bones. I go down on my knees and I praise the Lord until tears run down from my eyes. He works hard every day. I try and I try and I try but everybody wants to put me down, they say I'm going crazy. I've got nobody left to believe. I've got no rhythm, I just keep loosing my beat. I'm alright, I'm alright. I will face my fear. I will get out of this prison cell, some day I'm gonna be free. Find me, find me, find me. Can anybody find me.
To her and to me it wasn't about being loved it was about finding her. Music isn't what it used to be. The music doesn't really speak to the audience or for the audience like it used to.
Look, our life can be chaotic at times and I'm just about ready to pull my hair out at times. But it's the music that still shapes and calms the nerves. We still hold Freddie in a special place in our hearts. And though our music has changed to Gospel, Freddie's music will never get old in our lives. It doesn't offend me like some of the other music that I used to listen to does to me now. Did you know that Queen actually had to two gospel songs? Freddie Mercury wrote a song about Jesus. Queen Official released a video of the song with lyrics just 7 months ago. It is one of my favorite songs. And I'm glad they are embracing the song that I believe needs to be played more and not just on youtube. There is also a song they did called Mad the Swine. It reminds us to get down on our knees and praise The Lord.
Freddie Mercury is from India so Jesus is not suppose to be apart of his religion. But he sang about Jesus. And I happened to come across this song when I was trying to find the face of my Lord. My husband was getting ready to deploy and I wanted to use this time with him being gone by not being lonely. I was going to run full speed to the man that would keep me from being lonely and give me protection, Jesus Christ.
I can say a lot of what Jesus did for me during this time. But that would be a whole other blog post and this blog is dedicated to what I do for Doodle with God's miracles working through her. The past is behind us and the future waits for us to concur it. We can't help what happened in our past, that's why it's behind us.
Freddie has helped shape our lives. To give him proper homage I have his pose on the back of my vehicle. A reminder of God's love, as Freddie has always sang about love. And how much God loved me to use the music to hear and understand Doodle at a time when she had no words to speak with.
Some days are better then others and those are the Space Oddity days by David Bowie. Listen to the words of the song. It describes what autism is really like. I'm Ground Control and Doodle is Major Tom. Planet Earth is blue and there is nothing I can do. I'm stepping through the dark. And I'm floating in the most peculiar way. And the stars look very different today. I'm floating in my tin can far above the moon. Planet Earth is blue and there is nothing I can do. Can you hear me? Can you hear me Major Tom?
Doodle dressed for Freddie for a Day. And yes this is a replica of the actual outfit. The shoes are mine. It took me months to find them. Exactly like the ones he wore on stage at Wembley.
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