Where I've been autism

 Working for a giant corporation and having a publishing company are not the easiest things to keep up with. I also work for Grumbacher, an art company based in Massachusetts and new lines coming to the publishing company and art classes that I need to get taken care of. Throw a free monthly magazine, autism and a sick family member into the mix and you have a busy mom. 

But in all honesty who isn't busy right now. There is so much that I personally have to get done in a day and quite frankly I'm dealing with burn out. There is a lot going on in my personal and professional life. So when I am able to write for the blog yay for me. But it's not gonna be easy to work on the blog.

Lots of people say that I am able to do everything and when I have deadlines I always hear you can do this for me and still get your work done. You always do. Yeah, I always do with a lot of stress on my shoulders. People don't understand how much that weighs on me and I'm not gonna show that on the outside. 

Crafting is the way that I sometimes calm down and just chill. I do that with painting and drawing as well but I really can't get to that right now either. As much as I would like to. I just can't find the time for it all. I need to practice on my 3d resin art pieces. I would like to be able to teach that with my online classes but as of right now there just isn't the time.

So it's been really hard getting to writing on the blog. When I set up my priorities the blog falls on the very bottom of the list. One of those things that I just can't get it. It used to be that I would be able to write the blog Sunday night and have it posted on Monday morning. But I was also working nights and didn't have a magazine that I was responsible for. I just worked for the corporation and Grumbacher. Just had to make sure that I had books published. Now I have new lines coming out. Sure I'm not teaching classes in person anymore but I don't want my daughter to suffer without having me there for her. I can't be an absent parent. And that's my biggest fear is being an absent parent. She can't succeed without help and guidance. 

I like having off days but I'm not giving myself that option with all that I do. Responsibilities are really important to me. It fuels my stress. And I can't keep thriving on that.

I know that it's important to have as much information on autism as parents can find and yeah I make raising a child on the spectrum look easy but what stresses one person out when it comes to autism doesn't stress out the other person. 

Doodle can be easy to raise and there are days where she fights on what she's going to do and what she's not going to do. Also having a great support system is another way to get through this life. And that is really hard to find. I'm lucky. I have devised a tight support system. People that will pull me back when I need help the most. My family is pretty great about making sure that I have my own time.

It's not just autism life that can be stressful, but it's how you look at your life that determines how your life is actually lived. Some parents take the smallest things and blow them up to be something it really isn't. You pick and chose your battles. I let a lot of stuff just slide. Cause there really isn't a point in getting even more stressed out than what I already am.

It will be nice to get to a point where I can craft for myself. My daughter loves some of the crafts that I make. Half of what goes into the magazine for sensory craft are things that she personally asks for. And that's a lot of stress and research to make sure that I get it correct. Cause no one wants something that will be torn up. It has to last for a long time. The sensory blanket, that was a great idea in theory. It didn't have beads in it cause I didn't want to be cleaning beads up forever. Yeah, Doodle tore the sensory blanket up. The only thing she sleeps with is the jean material that was the top part of the weighted blanket. That has become her favorite blanket. It still has weight to it. So something that isn't so big is the way to go when it comes to a weighted blanket. 

The lava lamp that didn't require heat to work or tablets to move, that was the best thing that I created. It lasted maybe 6 months before she tore it up too. But that's life with autism. Life in general is not easy but it's how you approach it. 

So in conclusion I wrote the first part of this blog maybe two weeks ago and thought oh yeah I'll come back to this. Yeah I was able to come back to it but I've already lost my train of thought with it. I've got a lot going one. Large projects for the magazine and other things that need my attention. I'm trying to figure out a good way to balance my time so I can squeeze in more projects for my company and being there for those that need me with the blog. There is a possibility I may just close down the blog. Write advice and help in a book and call it a day. 

Doodle changes so much as she grows and that means dealing with autism changes as well. So it's a toss up of what to do.

See you guys on the flip side.

What I feel about school autism

 I'm seeing a lot of parents of kids on the spectrum that are pretty upset that school is not going back in session. Well, some schools are not going back into session. Me, I'm cool with school not going back to being in person. Our school won't go back until around November. Doodle has autism and that's a neurological disorder. With her asthma her getting the virus is not gonna be a good thing.

Parents send their kids to school sick all the time so what makes me think parents won't do that this time around? And it's not like oh you just wake up with a fever. If you raise kids you know that a fever can pop up anytime of the day. So by the time a fever is present by then its too late.

For me I can readjust my schedule at work to better suite teaching Doodle from home. With having a publishing company I can adjust that schedule to be there for my child. I've always been flexible with Doodle's schedule. You never know what is going to happen when you raise a child with special needs. 

School for us doesn't start until September the 1st. For the first time I'm not totally prepared for school. I mean all I will need is just a computer or tablet. I'm more than prepared for that. Anything happens to my equipment I have a company that takes care of all the repairs. Believe it or not for the past year they have been working overtime on my equipment. From upgrading my computer equipment to repairing a shattered iPad to shattered laptops. It happens with raising a child with autism. So I'm not to concerned. 

My child being safe is my utmost concern. Other kids staying safe, that is also my concern. So like I've said, it's not a big deal that we will be doing online schooling again. Though it's only for 9 weeks. We will get through this. And for help on what to do when your kids figit too much in their chairs I have several DIY's for this coming up issue in the magazine to help with that. This isn't my first rodeo and it won't be my last.

If the kids go back to in person learning I support all the parents who send their kids back. For those doing virtual learning, I support that as well. It's a hard decision to make. I understand that. I want my child to be back in the classroom. I also want her to be well and safe. I will be devastated if I lose my child. I've dealt with to much grief from her not to continue living with her quirks.

The private school have all gone back into session so we are all watching how that goes. So far though it's only been 2 weeks it's going pretty good. Some elementary schools have had issues but only the classes have shut down but not the school. Not sure on the comfort level of that one. But everything will work out. And there is a possibility that given the type of school Doodle goes to she might not go back to in person schooling at all this year. No matter the decision I will support it and continue to do what I can to help my daughter succeed. 

To get her out of the house she may possibly be doing a dance class which can be virtual or in person. So that will be how I slowly step into this new roll with her. She hasn't done a typical class since she was maybe 5 or 6 and that was with gymnastics. That was a fail when the coach started flinging the kids in the air. And that's how I found out that my child was afraid of heights. Good times! 

Not all parents can be as flexible as I am and I am thankful for my schedules. So I'm not going to judge other parents about their decisions. Cause it's not an easy decision to make.

So what are your decisions for this school year? Are you sending your kids back or are you going to do virtual learning as well? I support whatever decision you make. 

See you guys on the flip side.   

What is the worth of Autism?

I got a late start today. Forgot to turn on my alarm last night. So my morning began the same as it always does only a few hours behind. Checking messages on JSNCreative. Scrolling through Facebook to see if there was anything to share to my page so I help give others ideas for what to do. See if there was anything that Doodle might want to try today. Last night was the night I had to finish all of Doodles camisoles. She loves wearing camisoles and she picked out lots of cute fabrics. I've been trying to finish up this project for months.

While scrolling through Facebook I noticed in the autism group that I'm in, someone shared that a YouTuber had "re-homed" their child on the spectrum. Hold up! How on earth do you re-home a child especially one with autism. I didn't know that was a thing. Did someone pay her so that she could guarantee they would go to a good home? Did she send the child off with his favorite blanket and food bowl. I can't understand how you can feel that a child is like a pet. How can you dehumanize a person?

In my personal opinion Myka Stauffer is the head entitled Karen on the face of the earth. I can see why she would do it. I've seen a few of her video's in the past. Her house is just too clean for a mom with 5 kids. He didn't fit the vibe of her perfect world. It's not an excuse to give away your child like a bag of outdated clothing.

There are days that Doodle can be an absolute butt hole but I'm not about to re-home my kid. Yeah, I've replace a few iPads in our lifetime. It's part of life. Doodle is messy and I laugh when she looks like Pig Pen from Snoopy's Peanuts. I've learned to love the Chipmunks and their music again. I'm still not cool with Sponge Bob. And I love when she watches the Muppets. I love when I get to share what I love with her and when she shares with me what she loves. That's called being a family. Some things she does and loves I don't care for, but that's okay because she has her own interest. That's part of loving the person you are with. You share your life, love and interest with them.

Doodle is fantastic at gardening. She didn't show that side of her until about a year ago. Am I willing to miss out on parts of Doodle's life? Watching her grow up? Nope. Every day is a new day and as she grows I learn more and more about her. Yes, the house is a bit of a mess. My walls aren't pure white or off white. Her bedroom has purple walls and the ceiling is lavender. I've had clouds on the ceiling that were lights. I've made sensory swings and regular swings. I've adopted a dog for her from the pound. I've shared my food with her and my sweet tea or plexus. We go to the beach together. She's almost like a little best friend and she takes a lot from her father. She will do things to grate my nerves but again, not a reason to re-home my kid like a dog.

I've battled with the school board for my child's rights. Heck I've battled an Army Hospital for her fathers right to life. I fight for what I love. 

Myka's problem is that she's letting money control her life. All of her Instagram pictures are filled with ads. Each picture is "picture perfect". I'm my life I connect with people who aren't picture perfect. I want to see real life. Picture perfect makes me feel uncomfortable. I mean seriously, how many kids under the age of 6 can keep their clothes perfectly cleaned? And their hair perfectly straight. It's all just fake in my book. Messes are part of life. It's who we are as human beings.

That's about as much attention that I can give this trash person. Make people feel important and loved. Don't make them feel like trash cause that just makes you trash. Every life is valuable. People with compassion. Treat them the way that you want to be treated. Autism has blinders on. They don't understand a whole lot and most of the time depending on what type of the spectrum they fall under  they don't understand what's going on and how to articulate their feelings. It's something that has to be taught to them.

You guys have a good day. Don't let hate consume you. Use your energy for more important things. 

Lock down has been rough Autism

I will admit that quarantine has been rough but not in the way that you would think. So many things flying around. For my business I am the essential worker and can work from home because I work for myself. Throw in homeschooling, trying to create new books, research, learn new programs and trying to create a new line along with the magazine, it's a bit much. Doodle being home and having to monitor her while she works it not easy.

I made Doodle plant a garden. Lots of vegetables are sprouting. I think she's more interested in the pumpkins that she's planted. The plants are thriving and I'm glad about that. We are also working on a few of the things that she's got to accomplish for the next school year IEP. I want to make sure that she masters her tasks faster. She misses school and right now so do I. I was overwhelmed with it at first because getting into the program was hard but leaving out of the program I have a new respect for it. Though I have had to take over the work for the speech therapists, something I have never been good at. When Doodle was doing speech therapy for Easter Seals I would sit behind the two way mirror and watch how Candace worked with her. It was amazing the tricks she would use and I would try the same thing at home. But home is a different environment and was harder to keep Doodle on task. We have been receiving excess work through the portal to help work on speech at home. Summer homework if you will. We received ways to do OT at home as well and I've been using art classes with Cassie Stephens as a way to incorporate a little more OT.

I have been debating about creating a few video's for my website. But that means that I will be in front of the camera and that I'm not comfortable with. But in order to keep my Grumbacher certification I'm going to need to do this. I have a few ideas. Not sure if I am going to be able to do what I want to do without contacting a few companies so that if I teach glow in the dark paintings I will be able too.

As for the isolation, that really doesn't bother me because raising a child on the spectrum, I've been isolating since before she was diagnosed. It was hard taking Doodle out in public. She was fun and cute and all when she was a bitty. As she got older it became harder, all the sounds and commotions. When Doodle was at the school that taught her how to learn and grow they took trips out in the area to learn how not to wander off. How to stay close and how to shop. Loved that! Wish the school she currently goes to does that, but we can't have it all anymore.

Doodle is doing great being at home with homeschooling. Now that home school is done I would have more time to do everything but that's kind of hard cause she gets wild and loud. So I'm concerned about doing video's. I will see what I can do with how I can do it.

So I was watching my news source on Thursday night and found out that there was a new trend going around. It's called the autism and people dance like they are mentally inept. I don't find it funny as my dad had a brother that was completely disabled and depended on my grandparents until his death in his 40's. That was hard on everyone in the family because he was so loved. It's hard on Doodle as she knows with the video's she finds on YouTube that autism is something you call people as the word retarded has been replaced with autistic. I don't think that's funny that people create videos like that.  Calling people names just isn't cool. Using autistic as a slur isn't cool, neither is using the word retarded. You would think as a civilization we would be beyond 2nd grade behaviors.

And what I don't get is how people don't realize how dangerous it is to do what is trending. I know they are looking to become famous in their own mind but coming up with your own thing and thinking for yourself makes you famous. But showing disrespect to others is not how you become famous. That will come back and bite you in the butt. If you do become "famous" eventually, those old video's will be thrown back up in your face. Even if you delete the video no matter what the internet is forever. A 40 something year old mom should not have to be the one to tell you that. But I do spend a lot of time observing the world around me and that includes the internet. There are a lot of autism moms trying to get the video's to stop so I can say that this is not a fight I'm willing to fight on. If it happens in public while I am around then I will say something to their faces but til then I have other battles and a life of my own. I don't have time to be a keyboard warrior for something that will be like oh I've got lots of comments but I don't care what they say.

For the person who actually created the word autistic and autism to be a slur word that would be Paul Watson. People screaming in the streets over Trump being elected president, he said they were autistic screaming. So thanks for that one ya jerk! And that's what spawned all the videos of other people creating videos using the word autistic as a slur word. Doodle doesn't know any better and mimic what others are doing on YouTube. Through isolation she has finally learned that her disability is being used as a slur. And that led to her being sad about her diagnoses when she was 3. So there's that. It's just a lot of damage control on my part because the internet is so large. I don't see anything wrong with autism. There are a lot of people with autism that I look up too and admire. Dr. Temple Grandin, Dan Aykroyd (my favorite actor and writer), Patrick who works at the book store down the street from my house and my own child who I think is the bees knees. They all think differently and that's beautiful to me. They are out there creating new things, shaping the world for the good. The list is longer but I'm not going to bore you with that as it will get lengthy.

So there is my take and those are my struggles. Considering that today is Saturday and not Monday that you are receiving this blog, shows you that time is but a number and it's a number I can't keep up with. I'm not sinking in a little boat, I'm bailing out the Titanic with the way I feel about all the things that I have to get accomplished. It's just not easy and I don't see the Michaels classroom opening up too soon as they have transitioned to Zoom videos for people to sign up for. Some of the videos are dark and hard to keep up with. Not the professionalism that you would expect for anyone doing a class for Michaels. My classroom is closed and being used as a storage room for excess orders. Yes that bothers me. But it bothers me more that Michaels has turned it's back on instructors yet again. Last time that happened, all the instructors were kicked out of the Michaels classrooms and contracts were lost. Many instructors were upset and left even Grumbacher. Many flourished and basically gave Michaels the finger. Creating their own studios and make ore money then when we were in the classroom. So there is no point in being mad at change. Just embrace it and work through it.

Wow, I didn't expect to tackle so many issues today but here I am. On a soap box with my mind just throwing dirt out there everywhere! Let's start a new trend called the neurotypical where we do videos to teach others how to lift people up and give confidence and love and not bring others down.

See you guys on the flip side.

We are starting to get it, Autism.

The first few days of homeschooling were not the best. As the week went on it did get a little better. Had no time for JSNCreative. Which I can tell you was no fun.

Doodle is going through a great phase right now. She's destroying the bedroom. Yeah, that's fun. And so far this morning she just wants the iPad and doesn't want to do any schoolwork. Not sure how well this day is gonna go.

Doodle did sleep through the storm that hit our area last night. It really didn't appear to be that bad. Lightening on top of lightening. We never lost power so that was a good thing.

I still have the magazine to do this week. I need to get more done this week then I did last week, in order to stay on schedule.

Oh and many of you don't know but on January 21st we went to the pound and adopted a dog. He has Doodle's personality. So now I'm wrangling two pains in the butt during quarantine. Wait for it...the eye roll.

Doodle does need a lot of one on one help with her schooling. I can't work at Michaels while Doodle is doing home school because she's been in quarantine since the day the virus hit our area. It's more for her protection than anything else. With breathing issues already and her neurological issues, this would all just compound on her and that's not something I want with Doodle.

 It's already after 8 am and Doodle is still refusing to do any work. This is gonna be a fun day! She did brush her teeth but she's not willing to do anything else. And the whole brushing her teeth, that was a fight in itself.

I need to set up a photography section close to where Doodle is working so that I can get work done for the publishing company and help her when she decides she going to be doing her school work. She's not happy with school and not happy with the fact that school is now at home. The separation line is so far blurred I've about lost it.

So lift your coffee cups and cheers with me. Here's to another day, with frustration and fruitfulness.

See you guys on the flip side.

E-learning and Autism: Spoiler alert! It's not going well.

Yes, it's been awhile. Almost a year ago since my last post for this blog. So what changes have been made? Just trying to survive life with autism. And I was doing pretty good until today schooling from home started.

Started prepping everything for Doodle to do schooling from home last week. Couldn't get into the classes to even see anything. This morning finally got it all figured out and then I logged in. Only two classes were listed to be seen. Couldn't see anything else. I'm spending such much of my time reading to my child her classwork that I will not be able to get anything done for my own business.

Oh you want me to turn in class assignments? Where??? We answer the questions we do what we are suppose to do and click that the assignment has been finished but the notification that the work was not submitted is the issue.

Look there is a reason why I never home schooled Doodle. And I've had plenty of opportunities in the past. Online schooling is not necessarily created for kids with sever disabilities. I have been trying to teach my kid how to learn anything her entire life and I've never been successful at it. Yes, I can get her to do school work, that's not a problem. It's teaching her that's the problem. I was unsuccessful with potty training. She didn't manage that until she was almost 7 years old. Never could get her to read, no matter how many books I read to her or words I tried to teach her. She didn't speak until she was almost 7 years of age.

I will say it, I'm frustrated and mad as hell. This online learning is a shit show! We do the work, answer the questions and submit that everything is completed and yet it says no work submitted. I am beyond frustrated!

Look I've done my time! I should not be coming back to learn the 8th grade. I've done more than enough of my time when you throw in my college degree. Which I also feel was a waste of time I might add. Business administration degree. Did it teach me anything I needed to know about running a business. No that was all trail and error and a lot of help from my friend who owns his own company. And he didn't go to college.

So at this point we are opting out of online learning. We will do a paper trail for the rest of the week while I try to figure out how I'm suppose to get any of her school done with her and I can get to my own work done for my business. I'm used to juggling multiple projects but this project is too far out of my reach to help on.

I'm either going to cry for the rest of the week or become an alcoholic cause there's only two options right now.

Doodle is at the point where she is stimming so much it's unbearable for me. I know that it's going to take a bit to work all the kinks out, I understand that, but we've been on spring break for 3 weeks now and surely someone has got to have a better plan for parents who work and children with disabilities. Doodle learns differently than what I can teach her.

This mornings lesson for social studies was to learn about the coliseum. How it was made, the construction of it. Well just doing a virtual tour and reading about it is not how Doodle learns with me. For her to grasp it I would need to teach her to construct her own with modeling clay. And that's where I am failing. She's not grasping anything that I'm reading to her, she's waiting on me to give her the answers and that's not fair to her or myself.

So as of right now. She's sick. Give me who I need to turn in the sick note too cause this is just horrible on all parts!

I'm headed out to go get Doodle's paper packet and then get work done on the publishing company.

See you guys on the flip side.

What it's like to raise a child on the spectrum

Every parent is going to be different when it comes to raising their child(ren). Every child is different when it comes to being normal or having a disability. This is what it's like for me to raise a child on the spectrum.

I know not every one is going to agree with the way that I parent. I do the best that I can the only way that I know how. There is no manual for parenting and there is no manual for parenting a child with a disability. I love my child and I wouldn't see my life without her. She is my everything.

Like a lot of children on the spectrum there are the autism quirks. Poop smearing, lack of language, refusing to be held or touched, the high pitched squeals, running back and forth from one side of a room to another, slamming doors, throwing doors open, stemming, spinning, not sleeping, etc, etc. That's a lot to deal with on a daily basis. And this was Doodle's quirks. I hated the poop smearing. That was a miserable time in my life but she did stop when we found out why she was poop smearing. She probably left that stage around the age of 7. We worked with our pediatrician to figure out why this was happening. And now Doodle has a regular digestive cycle.

She still has a lack of speech, but that is normal considering that she went through a regression 3 years ago. She has made an effort to say a complete sentence, which is awesome. She has a long road to go. I am routine strict but if she wants to go swimming or play on the iPad she has a few things that she has to do first. It's her routine to be self sufficient. She's not allowed to sleep past 9 am unless I sleep past 9 am. But if I get up before she does, which isn't always the case because she does sometimes wake at 3:00 or 4:00 am and I have to put her back to bed. This is every other day.

If she doesn't do what is part of her routine then she doesn't get the iPad to watch video's on. And yes, YouTube is connected on my account so I can see what she is watching. If she wants something I use American Sign Language and sign out what she wants. She has to repeat it in speech in order to get what she wants. If she refuses she doesn't get what she wants. If she get's mad about having to put away the iPad she will stutter the word done. No, d-d-d-done. And I will correct her because she doesn't speak like that and I don't want her to think this way is correct.

Most people would say that I'm a helicopter mom. I say, have you ever turned your back for a moment and found a snake in your bed? Well, I have. I have to watch her like a hawk. Both inside the house and while she is hunting around outside, when she is suppose to be playing. One day the snake she picks up might be the wrong type.

Somethings you just have to hold a blind ear to some of the high pitched squeals. And you have to see that some actions they are preforming is them using their imaginations. Doodle likes to make driving a car motions like she is actually driving. Sometimes you can tell other times she's doing it so quick you can't catch it. Much like stemming. She goes over the top most days when making this motion she just about flings herself out of where she is sitting. Those I over look. She's having fun. And sometimes you just have to go to another room, do a project or finish up a project. I let her have her imagination time. Let her laugh, let her laugh like a maniac 3000 decibels higher then anyone should hear a sound. Sometimes you have to know the battles you want to fight and the ones you want to let go of.

Some days are easy and some days she get frustrated when she's cleaning up her book shelves. That's where she likes to keep her special things. Aren't we all like that sometimes. It's life and before you know it life has changed. Don't regret anything in life. Don't be miserable. Parenting isn't easy and I'm not about to live my life with regret. Like the time I went to work and came home to Doodle playing with a snake in the bed. Yes, I had someone watching her and they weren't watching her the way I try to watch her. It happens. There is nothing wrong with being strict, there is nothing wrong with routine. There is nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself.

I'm an autism mom. And if you've met one child on the spectrum. You've met one child on the spectrum. They are not exactly the same.

See you guys on the flip side.

Here's an update

If you guys have read the magazine you know that at the beginning of the year I did a vision board. There is a lot on that vision board that has to be accomplished. Unfortunately, that means that's a lot on my plate. Since the last post a lot has happened both with Doodle and with my work life.

The craft store where I work pushed the instructors outside of the stores. That means that we have a new way that we have to register our classes. Me, I don't have time to register classes because it takes roughly 20-30 minutes to add all of my classes to teach. Grumbacher has taken all the instructors that taught art under their wings and they are working with us on new venues to teach at because the craft store is now charging us to teach classes. Well, that sucks for the craft store. More then 80% left the craft store program and at this point I'm about to be there. I tried to stay positive but it just isn't working out.

As for the publishing company, it's coming along pretty well and I'm happy with the direction that it's going. I'm learning animation which is fun and Doodle is working with her English teacher at school to put together a book of her art that she created when she was 6 years old. So that means I will have new projects that go along with that book when it is published.

I've had a lot of IEP meetings this school year. Her teacher and I couldn't put our finger on what was going on. She's had a lot of behavior issues and her stemming has been really bad this school year. Last month we got a new bus driver. And I will tell you that I am seeing a lot of progression. I'm not the only one seeing progression going on. Her teacher is even seeing changes in not only her class but in Doodle's other classes as well. I'm not going to say what I feel is the reason why my child has been a horror but her teacher and I have our suspicions.

I have had issues with the bus this year more then I care to have had. Doodle's teacher and I had a conversation about it and some of the things that the bus driver said really rubbed Doodle's teacher the wrong way. I wasn't so fond of what I was being told so she wasn't the only one. Around Christmas break we had missed the bus cause it was showing up at 6:10 in the morning. I was informed that I should have been told that the time had changed from 6:40 to 6:10. And when you have a pickup at 6:10 that means you have to be waiting at 6:00 am. So we started waiting outside at 6 am and the bus wouldn't show until after 6:40. That was a nightmare. The bus driver was so strict. She didn't want Doodle running around and getting sweaty. Do you know how hard it is to keep her sitting down for 40 minutes and not jumping around and stemming? That's not the easiest thing in the world. So I asked, what time is pick up suppose to be. The response I got back was why do you want to know. Need to know so we can manage our time better in the mornings. Needless to say after that we got a new bus driver. And yes that is the convo that Doodle's teacher and I had was about what was going on.

The new bus driver is suppose to pick up between 6:40-6:45 and yes she's picked Doodle up sometimes at 6:35. But it's a common rule that you have to be waiting 10 minutes before the bus is to pick up.

Doodle and I have had a sickness that ran through our home. It involved swollen lymph nodes. That was fun. Doodle looked like a man from the 1930's. It also involved Doodle not riding the bus in the morning cause she had to have medication with her meal to keep her stomach from having issues. Thought I could just send her back to school and do breakfast in the mornings before she went to school. She had missed 2 days of school as per the doctor's request cause Doodle was running a low grade fever. The first day back at school after being sick she fell off the bus and scrapped her elbow really bad. So that meant that our being off routine was just not good. No big deal I just had to take her to school in the mornings and she rode the bus in the evenings. We did that until the antibiotic ran out. Now we are back to regular routine.

So that's everything in a nutshell. All wrapped up just like many of the projects that I have been working on on the magazine. Hoping I will be able to get back to publishing books again soon. Cause I have missed doing that as well. The website for JSNcreative is going through some changes because it's going in a new direction. And the good news is not only am I certified in Acrylic painting, drawing and watercolor but I am now certified in color pencils. So yes, I have been very busy the past couple of months.

Doodle is progressing very well. Yesterday, she spoke a complete sentence without prompting. This morning she wanted to give me a kiss goodbye. I just love that because she doesn't really do much when it comes to giving affection. I'm so happy with how she is progressing and listening. She's calming down at home and school and I am one happy momma!

See you guys on the flip side.

Pain management and IEP's Autism

We are in the middle of IEP season and life still goes on. If I ever think that my life is exhausting I know that Doodle's teacher is working harder then I am. We are in the middle of IEP season and that's every single special needs child IEP that has to be updated to carry over to the new school year.

I discovered that the reason why Doodle was acting up so much was that she had a yeast infection and now she is feeling much better since she's been on medication.

Fast fact, a lot of children on the spectrum suffer with yeast infections. And yes this can cause a lot of their horrible behaviors. Behaviors that feel as if you are living in a nightmare. I know how Doodle is suppose to act. As her parent I am suppose to know my child, what she likes what she hates and what makes her tick. I know when she wakes in the middle of the night but the hardest is knowing when she hurts. That could be stomach pains or it could be something else. She's normally so happy that even if she gets hurt she will only show pain for a single moment. But the behavior is something that should be a tale tale sign. She now has a new pediatrician where we live and we are learning about her and she is learning about Doodle. It's hard because our old pediatrician knew Doodle since birth. Worked with us to get services for speech and occupational therapy. I miss our old pediatrician but that's okay. We are in a new chapter and we shouldn't be afraid of change in our lives.

Living with autism is not easy as much as people would like to think it is. I now have to deal with a child who has become obsessed with other children on the spectrum and loves watching YouTube videos about them so she tries to get away with they do such as throwing tantrums and biting herself. Are we seriously going to another form of self harming? Not on my watch we aren't.

I have a business to run and a child that needs to be hugged and loved on even when she doesn't want to be touched. That was always an issue with Doodle when she was a bitty. She never wanted to be touched. She was a NICU baby for 2 and a half weeks. And that was so hard being a new mom and not being able to hold my baby or rock her. I wasn't able to sing to her, kiss her or even touch her. She had to be on pure oxygen because she had a bowel movement in the womb so her lungs were compromised. She was the baby in a bubble. I couldn't even touch her little hands. All I could do was look at her inside her containment and long to touch her. It was like being at the zoo and watching from behind the glass. It was so oxygen could be pumped into her bubble. The only ones able to touch or hold her were the nurses. It was so hard.

So yeah, she's come a long way. And she's my only baby, who I want to be happy at all moments of the day. There were so many tears shed throughout her life and so many prayers lifted up for her. I used to put her to bed and when she would finally fall asleep I would lean over her pray over her and whisper in her ear that I loved her. One night clear as day she said I lub ewe. And that was the best thing in the world to hear come out of her mouth. She was still non verbal at that time. So I knew that if she had the potential to speak when she was in REM sleep she had the ability to change the world and it was my job to unlock her potential. To push her and mold her.

The world will never conform to her and her disability but we can be somewhat of normal when she is out in public. I love my child more then anything in the world and I will support what she wants to do or be. If it's to be a doctor I will go broke making that a possibility. If she wants to be an artist I will do everything in my being to make it her life's work. I'm an artist but I'm also a creative. Which is why my company is called JSNcreative. And like my title we have to Just Start Now. Don't let anything hold you back. Don't let anything stand in your way. Be the locomotive in the video Breakthru by Queen. Move the barriers. Don't let anyone stop you from being the best for your child.

I'm a parent most teachers hate but I'm also the parent that a lot of teachers love. I'm the involved parent. I can't help my child or her teacher without that support system. And we all have to be on the same page.

At this point I just can't write anymore. As I type this there are so many changes taking place with my Grumbacher career that is leaving me devastated. There is so much going on in our lives and so many changes that are taking place as I type this. I will see you guys on the flip side.

 

That's one hell of a meltdown Autism

So this morning should have been like any other Monday. Get ready for school catch the bus and my day should have gone on like any typical day. No, having a child with autism doesn't work that way. It was time to brush her hair. We were somewhat on schedule. Just a few minutes behind. Nothing out of the normal. And that's when it happened. Doodle saw my coffee cup on the wrong side of the desk and dumped it over. Right into the animation computer and the publishing computer.

I thought OMG I need to get that cleaned up. I grab paper towels on my desk and start trying to get the coffee out of the vents of the laptops. And that's when her meltdown started. I was like it's fine, it's fine! I promise it's okay!!! But no it was not okay. Her meltdown escalated. I'm covered in coffee, the laptops are covered in coffee, the floor is even covered in coffee, even my phone was covered in coffee. It was only half the cup and this stuff is everywhere. If anyone should be having a meltdown it should be me!

So much for having on clean clothes. So she's taking a mental break from school today cause there is no way I'm going to subject her teachers to that.

So here I sit, thankful I got the magazine finished last night. I'm a little upset, I will admit that. I have so much to do. That to do list, yeah it's covered in coffee. Most parents deal with there kid tearing up walls. I'm dealing with having to teach this morning and I can barely read my to do list. And it's a doozy of a list. Today I'm trying to catch up on 2 weeks worth of stuff. That way the magazine can be early at the end of the month.

I'm debating just going back to bed. There isn't enough energy to deal with this day. But while Doodle is home for mental break issues I have to keep going. She lost the iPad and I put her to work on being in social situations in public. She even had to push the grocery cart at the stores we went to.

This all went down last week which is why there was no blog. That was a lot of coffee to clean up. It also basically set up the rest of my week. And I was having a really hard week thanks to that one incident last week. So here I am now, still trying to play catch up. And Doodle well, she's now taking naps at school.

So here's what was found out. The reason why her behavior is so bad. She's got a yeast infection. For those who are not aware children on the spectrum normally get yeast infections. Yes, even the boys get yeast infections. So she's now on medication for the yeast infection. We are going to get this under control and get her back to focusing. Because yeah, her behavior is really bad right now. Her first pill was on Friday and her next pill is next Friday. I've taken a good portion of her snack away and instead of juices for snack she gets a bottle water. Healthier yogurt, cheese, fruit and cheese crackers instead of cookies. Her teacher gets a rice crispy treat cause we are headed into IEP season and my kid is absolutely horrible at school. Her teacher needs a pick me up.

Hopefully soon we can get this all straightened out and can get back to what I know to be a normal life. I'm looking forward to that. Because there is no normal when it comes to autism, but it's normal to me. Let's hope this week is much better and I can get work done. I have taken today off from everything and just rest. I can get back to work tomorrow. Hence the reason why the blog is not only a week late but over 8 hours late.

See you guys on the flip side.

What's it really like raising Autism

If you've ever met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism. My life is different from what other parents face. But the situation still stays the same. I'm raising a child with autism. When Doodle was six she had no speech and had been in speech therapy sense she was 2 years old. Yes, she was even in early intervention. Nothing seemed to work. At 6 she wasn't potty trained at all. Poop smearing dominated my life. She was a crafty child and a backwards zip up outfit didn't stop her. What was normal for typical children were tasks that were impossible for her to do.

The first three years of an autism diagnoses are always the hardest because you don't know what to do, where to turn to or how to start some of the therapy that your child needs. Now that Doodle is in school she gets a lot of therapy I no longer have to drag her to. The sound of a screaming child in the back seat, screaming their head off to therapy. Her calming down for therapy and then the screaming all the way home cause she didn't want to leave if she did OT or she wanted more bubbles from speech therapy.

I use a lot of reinforcements to get Doodle to do what she needs to do. At home say for instance I know she will eat food. It's very rare I will see or even hear her have a gag reflex when it comes to food. If she wants dessert she has to eat her food. And yes it takes her forever to eat. She would rather be preoccupied with other things. She's a busy bee so to say. And since Doodle is progressing now positive reinforcement works much better. 

Her routine when she comes home is she has to hand me her school folder so it can be signed. I need her to give me her snack box so I can pack it for the next day. She needs to change out of her school uniform and dress for appropriate weather, putting her shoes in the shoe box where they go and put away her book bag. All before she is even able to get on the iPad. My positive reinforcements used to be small skittles given one at a time for each task completed. But she's outgrown that and can do at least 3 tasks before a reminder of what the next ones are.

Autism is a lot like raising a toddler most days. Some days you know what sets them off and others you don't. It's not all fun and games for me. And I like to think that everything is just a drop in the bucket. I also like to think that her accomplishment bucket is overflowing. Those are what I like to keep in mind the most.

The day before Doodle's birthday we were making a run to Publix for a few supplies. I asked what is tomorrow? She replied with Friday. Birthday. I asked who's birthday is it? And she replied with her name. For the longest time Doodle always had trouble with who and how. Usually, this is a point where I have to hold my finger to my lips and ask the question several times before she could get it. And this time she got it on the first try. I'm proud we have come this far. In all honesty had she not regressed when she was 10 years old she would have been further in progression at this point.

The age of ten for kids is the cut off point. At this point they will either continue with progressing or it stops. It all depends on the teacher. And no matter what amount of work we did at home, because her teacher had her for 8 hours in a day and I had her for 4 before bed time I wasn't able to successfully combat the damage the teacher was doing. When Doodle went on half days, which is a violation of the iep aka against the law. The damage had already been done. I was basically gathering work from the parent teacher store and teaching her on my own. Which is not the funnest thing in the world. With trying to make sure I had everything for my classes I was teaching, learning calligraphy and having to come up with a lesson plan of how I was going to teach my child and what she was going to learn. It was a lot on my plate. Not compared to what I am doing now! But it was still a lot considering it was like I was having to teach my toddler all over again. Grant it she wasn't a toddler, she was 10 years old but that's how far she regressed, to being a toddler. And having to relearn so much all over again. Hand over hand is no fun when your kid fights like Mike Tyson.

So there are good days and there are bad days. I am fiercely private and really am not comfortable with sharing a lot of my life. I'm working on that. Most parents come to this blog for information, but if I'm not sharing the good or bad how honest am I really being? 

I've gone from single students to working on accounts. A magazine that just doesn't seem like much fun as I'm always so tired and I'm getting into some really complicated pieces. I'm worried over will today be the day she freaks out on the bus and hurts another student or smashes her face into the window? Will she scratch her eyes out while on the bus cause the last time she freaked out of the bus, her eyes were the first thing she scratched at.

We all have fears when it comes to autism. And it doesn't help my job as her advocate and protector when in the groups that I'm in I'm seeing parents just giving their kids over to live in group homes or nursing homes all because they can't control them. Add the constant debate that rears it's head every year or so with parents saying they don't want to vaccinate their kids because they don't want a child with autism. That's a lot to depress anyone. Add on winter and the winter blues and that's quiet a lot for one parent to shoulder. 

Doodle is my rock. She's my laughter in the dark. She says some bizarre things which are out of place and seriously funny. Add in her Cindy Brady lisp and sometimes those words are hard to understand. And she likes to change what things are. Currently, she's saying that a lion fish is a porcupine fish. She knows the difference but she wants to change it. There was a time when she was little she called lightening bugs keke bugs. It was so adorable! And I really miss those days, but she's 13 now and they have to be called by their actual name. Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes to get her to say something correctly without dropping the L or the TH sounds. You just have to pick your battles. So there are plenty of days I'm like, cool whatever we've been at this too long already.

For instance last week while waiting on the bus Doodle was watching YouTube video's of fish on my phone. She says look mom, that's a porcupine. I said no that's a Betta and a porcupine. It took me a good minute to realize the fish needed to be called what it really should be called. I corrected myself. That's a Betta and a Lion fish. Dang it Doodle.

I don't know why she wants to change what some things are. Maybe it was because I let so much slide when she had limited to no speech. All I can say is 6 am with little sleep is too early in the morning for my brain to function.

So what is it like raising a child with autism? Some days are tiring. Severely draining. And other days it's a cake walk. She's my child and I wouldn't have her any other way.

See you guys on the flip side.

Call for IEP's and Autism

This post is to make you more aware of your rights and how to get an IEP set up immediately. As a parent who has run this course more ways then you can imagine, you need to be aware that most schools will run the gauntlet with the fact you know nothing. Therefor they will want to accomplish nothing. The less the school has to spend on your child the better they are in their eyes.

But look at it this way. Is your child really getting the help that they deserve? Is your child missing school because of bad behavior and the school wants them at home? That's a violation of FAPE (Free Appropriate Public Education). And think of all the therapy your child is missing, which is also a violation of the IEP and could cost the school a lot more.

If your child is having anger issues at school they need to have a ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) set in place. This is the program to help them learn to control themselves. Lots of data involved in this but when the next IEP comes around as per the school calling it, they will be able to tell you the new steps they are going to be doing to help your child. This is where a BIP (Behavioral Intervention Plan) comes into play.

Remember the school is banking on the fact that you have no clue as to what you are doing when it comes to an IEP. In most cases you will need an advocate. Like I've said before, I've run this marathon many times! And I have encountered a school that stood firm in not helping my child at all! That is the case where I have contacted my state advocate and made the school aware that I had one. I don't play around when it comes to my child's education. And I don't play with teachers who remove my child out of the classroom. Most times people at the school will ask what is an advocate. My reply is always, that is my lawyer that is provided for me by the State.

Doodle has been moved to half days at school before and I quickly found out that was a violation of FAPE and LRE (Least Resistant Environment). Doodle was denied LRE because they removed her from the classroom for hours at a time which fostered the bad behavior. It taught her that if she acted up in class they would remove her. The school was not even attempting to teach her in the general education setting. And she was missing speech and OT services which is also a violation and that time will have to be made up with the school.

IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) is another part of the IEP that is of importance. This part of the IEP gives 13 categories which a student is eligible to receive services and protections by law.

Your child has more rights then you can image but the schools in most cases don't know this. That's why they fight. I like fighting too. It's fun to me. I love seeing the light bulb go off when the school sees that they have broken laws and they can be sued. And they just opened themselves up to that! It's like a Mardi Gras parade to me. Why you may ask? Well, Always remember that an IEP is a corner to corner contract between you, your child, your school and your state. Contracts can not be broken on any end. If it is then someone is in a lot of trouble. And considering that the IEP are rules and guidelines the school has to comply with it boils down to the school breaking the contract. And can be sued!

Each parent or guardian needs to know about every aspect of an IEP. I can't give you every single morsel of what each part goes into depth of but I do want you to research them yourselves for your state. Everything in parenthesis ( ) I implore you to Google. I also want you to Google who your advocate is for your state, and they are FREE. I have mine written down in an organizer and can pull it out at a moments notice during an IEP. Also look up your IEP timeline. In my state the school has to schedule me an IEP within 10 days. Most states I do believe the most days to get you the meeting is 15.

You can call for an IEP meeting at anytime. And you can have an emergency IEP meeting. During an IEP meeting I want you to have your key words written down. IDEA, FAPE, ABA, BIP and LRE. Become familiar with these terms. Know what they are. You can have notes in an IEP meeting. You want the school to tell you all the ways that they are going to be helping your child and the plans they have in place to make sure they are going to help. Write down questions you want answers to. Questions of why they did or didn't do something that would benefit your child and their education. Don't let the school drop the ball.

Once you have your notes, questions and your advocate number, how do you call for an IEP? Well, this one is simple. I can actually help you with this one. You have two ways of getting it to the school. One is by the child, but if they are not allowed to be at school you have to contact the school via email. And always remember that you have to have a copy of the IEP request. I've taken photo's with my phone if I send in a note. If I send it via email, I have the time it was sent and the day sent saved in my email account. So I can go to my send folder and see when it was sent.

Here is the wording for your IEP meeting request. This is the request I use when I want to get someone's attention. At this point in my IEP (career) my letters are now less formal and all the (legal) wording is no longer needed. And remember to change the time frame days if your state requires something that is not 10 days.

To Whom it May Concern,

I am formally contacting you for an IEP meeting request. As per State law, I am required to receive this meeting within 10 days from this notice being sent. I am contacting you regarding Student, (child's full name) at (Full School Name) in (Teacher's name) class in grade (grade level).

I want to meet regarding (issues you are having with school, list in complete detail) as it states I am required to notify you of in the state of (State you live in)'s requirements and guidelines of IEP request.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

(Your Full Name)

If you have sent off this request and have not heard back from the school on the 9th day from when the letter was sent I send off a second request. I will not wait for the 10th day if I haven't heard back from the school. They are already violating my rights and my daughters rights at this point and a point needs to be made. Contact the head of special education for your county or city and get their email address. Your second letter of contact to the school needs to be sent via email to the school and also at the same time to the head of special education.

That letter will read as follows:

To Whom it May Concern,

I am formally contacting you for an IEP meeting request. As per State law, I am required to receive this meeting within 10 days from this notice being sent. I am contacting you regarding Student, (child's full name) at (Full School Name) in (Teacher's name) class in grade (grade level).

Regarding, (list in full detail the issues and concerns that you have).

This is my second attempt to contact you for an IEP meeting. As I have not heard back a date from you as per State law for (10) days notice. As you know this is in violation with State compliance. You have (10) days in which to make this IEP meeting happen and become compliant before I contact my advocate, aka lawyer.

A copy of this letter is also being sent to (List Head of Special Education name), the head of Special Education for the County and state of (List the county of the school and the State you live in).

I look forward to hearing from.

Sincerely,

(Your Full Name)

This is your second attempt at getting an IEP meeting set up. I have had a friend who has a school that likes to make sure that they set up meetings when she can't make it. The second letter provided for you is also to be used if the school wants to meet when you and they know that your child has outside doctors appointments during those times. It's an under handed tactic but yes a school will do that. I have only had to send a second notice once the entire span that my daughter has had an IEP.

If you still can't get the IEP contact your advocate. Send them your emails and make them aware that you are not getting any resolution from the school. They will walk you through the steps of what to do next.

If you are able to have a meeting make sure that you take notes in the meeting and question anything your are wanting clarified. Do not sign the updated IEP if it doesn't have in it what you are requesting the school do and don't leave the meeting. If you do the words out of your mouth should be, I see we are not going to see eye to eye on this and you will be hearing from my lawyer. I have not gotten to this point myself but I will waste a schools time by having an IEP meeting every single week. That's when the head of the special education department has to be present at those meetings because I'm holding so many of them. I have made an example of a teacher before and I have also received a better school environment for my child.

Here in the city that I live in there is a 2 year waiting list to get into the best special needs school. It's the school all special needs parents want their child in. My child wasn't even on the list 6 months when she got accepted in. And I was told at every single weekly meeting they would not accept her in because the school was full. The current school my child was at was tired of me. They couldn't stand a parent who knew what they were doing. I wouldn't comply and just sit back and accept what they wanted me to accept. That's not the type of person that I am. I am made for success! I am so competitive it's not even funny! I am number one in my district at work for the classroom. And I will stay number one when it comes to getting services for my child. Even if it's just to tweak her speech therapy to correct one little word. Special note on the tweaking for one little word, yes I've done it but the school therapist has to be on the same page with me. If I'm working on that word at home you had better believe the school needs to be working on it as well. The reason I do that is because my child has autism. They have to be taught something 1000 times before they get it. I will do 500 and let the school do 500 so that she get's it faster.

You and the school have to be on the same page of everything when it comes to your child. If y'all are not working together it's the child that suffers. I insist on work for the holidays so we can all stay on the same page and my child doesn't miss a beat when it comes to days out of school. 

Don't let any school try to take advantage of you. This is your child's future they are playing with. This is a make or break time. It determines if your child can be a functioning member of society when they get older or not. 

See you guys on the flip side. 

Why I won't battle in the vaccine debate, Autism

There are many people out there that love to do the vaccine debate. Many refuse to vaccinate their children from diseases that have pretty much been eradicated because of vaccines. For me getting into a fight over something like that isn't worth my time as there still is not enough research to prove if it is the cause of autism or not. And here's the reason why I won't debate it.

Autism has been around longer then vaccines. If you read up on fairies you will read stories of changelings. These are stories that were passed down from generation to generation, as that's how stories tend to work back in the day. Parents would put their babies and children to bed at night. Normal, healthy littles with no issues. When the parents woke up in the morning their child was different. The same that some of our children are before they are diagnosed. This is how the phrase changeling came about. People used to think fairies would come into their homes and change out their child for a human baby. When Doodle was a baby she was on track with her milestones. At 5 months old she was able to say momma and dada. I got two good days of her babbling those words and yes I know that's a little early for a baby to speak.

When Doodle was brought home from ICU at about 2 weeks of age my husband was bringing her into his mothers house with Doodle in her car seat. My mother in law looked at Doodle and said, "Hi, Precious!" And I kid you not, I heard it, my husband heard it and my mother in law heard Doodle sigh out Hi. It could just be a fluke with the way she sighed at that moment. Don't know. But I will always say to this day my child is special.

Back to the point at hand. Two good days of Doodle saying momma and dada. And yes, she said momma first! Doodle was trying to stand up as much as she could. She wanted her little legs to work and do things quickly. Well, after the second day she stopped and went back to cooing like a NT baby. She didn't crawl until she was a year old and didn't walk until she was two, believe me I tried everything to get her to crawl and walk. And still we had no speech. She never even got her baby teeth until almost a year old. And she rubbed her hair off the back of her head. For a little girl she matched my Uncle Larry in the bald head department. Looked like a little old man!

So do I believe in changelings? Pretty much as that's the way I experienced life with Doodle. It was an overnight change and she did bizarre things. Crossed her legs, tucked her chin in her chest, pulled on her diaper and went ridged. Happened so many times and no one could figure out why she was doing that. At least 30 times or more a day. Nothing I could do to snap her out of it.

It was later determined that it was possibly seizures. She doesn't do that anymore since the age of 6. And I have no answers to this day as to why or what was the cause.

I'm a researcher. It's not actually what I went to college for. But I need research. I don't do hearsay. I need cold hard facts. Doodle was given a vaccine but it was after she lost her momma and dada speech. So I can't connect those dots. But I have researched fairy stories for years as I am just fascinated by them. Would love to write a fantasy fairy story one day.

Back to task at hand. My husband was cleaning out one of the rooms in his grandmothers house when he read a letter from the water board. They were informing everyone in the area that they were going to be putting fluoride in the water. And they did have a list of possible issues with fluoride being added to the water. One of the possible concerns was that fluoride could cause autism in children. This was found after Doodle was diagnosed at the age of 3.

So could this be a possibility? Possibly. Depends on the environment in which you live in. I don't know the conditions of the water systems or some of the vegetation surrounding where the people who have little children who became as they called changelings. As that would be a possible clue.

Now if you look at cancer it's more common today then it used to be. So why the rise in cancer? If you learn the back story of Peter Pan you will learn about the Davies children, well their mother died of cancer. That was in the 1900's. So why was cancer a thing back then? Did you know that women during this time used powder on their faces and bodies. This goes back many many decades of woman doing this habit. I remember my great grandmother and grandmother using giant powder puffs to put powder on their faces and necks. It's talcum powder they used and it was scented. The same talcum powder we use on babies and the same talcum powder that's used in our makeup.

Now those in the makeup world are familiar with Sister Charles and his recent scandal. If you haven't here's the run down. Customer used his newly released makeup pallet. One of the colors I think it was pink would not come off her eyes, she broke out in hives and her eyes began to swell. She tweeted him over and over and even made YouTube video's complaining about it. During this time Sister Charles tweeted her back and told her she needed to see a dermatologist. Another person in the makeup world broke down the science of talcum powder in makeup and said there was a chance that some makeups have asbestos in them and can cause a reaction. That talcum powder is mined in the same place as asbestos and they look pretty much identical. I'm not saying that Sister Charles has asbestos in his makeup. I don't even have any of his makeup. But during the manufacturing stage there is a possibility that talcum powder can be contaminated with asbestos if just one person in the beginning of mining the powder doesn't know what they are doing.

As you know asbestos causes cancer. When Mrs. Davis became sick with cancer there is a possibility that someone messed up along the line and sold her talcum powder with asbestos in it. Either intentionally or not. So before you start screaming you might want to check some of the products in your home that have talcum in it. Especially, if you use talcum powder on a baby, you know the baby powder you put on your child after they get out of the bath and are dried off.

So there is that run down. But back to Autism and vaccines. I believe it's more environmental. Something has changed because autism diagnoses are exploding now more then they ever have before. So what would be the change? It could be the fluoride that they are putting in the water. It can also be the chlorine the water systems are using in our water now. Here, where we live you can smell it! And if you wash your car off in the mornings it eventually eats the paint off the car! No joke!

Back when Doodle was a bitty I bathed her with Johnson's and Johnson's baby shampoo. They were a company I thought I could trust. They even say it in the commercials. I bathed Doodle with the baby shampoo until she was 6 or 7 years old. Because I wanted the absolute best for her at all times. I stopped when the news broke that the formula for the baby shampoo was the same formula as formaldehyde. If you are unfamiliar with that it's embalming fluid. When you die your blood is removed from your body and replaced with embalming fluid so that the decomposition process slows down. I can tell you for a fact if that gets in our waters and streams and even our grounds that's not good on our environment. And we as parents of itty bitty's are washing that stuff down the drain after a bath. Which either goes to a plant our straight out to our oceans or streams. This is why I make my own soap now. I know what goes into it. I can trust what I put back into the environment. In the back of my mind this is a possibility of why Doodle has autism. But until that research is conducted we don't know the true cause of autism.

Let me give you another breakdown of the chemicals that we use. Doodle used to eat clothing. I would buy her cute little outfits to wear to school and my billy goat would eat her shirts every freaking day! And this was why we couldn't have nice things. About the time of the embalming scare I started making my own laundry detergent. Borax, soda powder, and a bar of soap along with water. Yes, I've gone off the deep end. I'm using a chemical a little girl burned herself with while making slime. Actually, borax in small amounts isn't even harmful. It's a mined rock. I have my hands in this stuff every single week as I've just gone to using only borax to wash our laundry. Fill the washing machine up a ways add the borax and swish it around with my hands. And I made kids slime with borax for a very long time and have had no issues. Anyways, the reason I'm even mentioning this is the moment I no longer used Tide or Gain or any other commercially made laundry detergent Doodle stopped eating her clothing. She hasn't eaten a shirt in a very very long time. So the chemicals that were left as a residue, unseen and unnoticed was like candy to my child.

And speaking of candy, there is a possibility that processed foods we buy at the grocery store could also be a contributing factor in the rise of autism. What all they are giving to the animals or the chemicals that are called harmless but give our foods a longer shelf life. We don't know. There isn't enough research. Just people screaming over one thing but not looking at the whole picture.

And let's get into the tests they preform when you are pregnant. That stuff they had me drink that was nasty and I had to keep coming back for blood to be drawn. I wasn't allowed to eat that day until after the test. I know that put a lot of stress on Doodle when she was in the womb. It's for checking blood sugars they said. Could this be another thing that's causing autism? Don't know.

Everyone has their own opinion. People who have autism are tired of being lumped in with kids who have cancer. Though I kind of see a point with that. Autism and cancer feel like they come out of nowhere. The parents who don't vaccinate don't want a child with autism. I see nothing wrong with a child with autism. They are wonder kids. Love Doodle to death! I wouldn't trade my child for anything. If I got the opportunity to do it all again I would in a heartbeat. I wouldn't change a thing, except for the teacher that regressed her. That I would change! But I prefer to have a child with autism. That's me! I love the work I put in to helping her become a success. When she grows up and looks back on her life I want her to see mom made a difference and she has the best childhood! We are doing things together I never did as a child. Heck if she were a nt child we wouldn't even be hitting up concerts. I do it to push her out of her comfort zone.

Again, I believe it's environmental. I believe that the chemicals in the products that we use, that we take for granted because it's a convenience that we pay for are a contributing factor in what is causing autism. From the water we drink to the products we use on ourselves. And if we truly want to spread autism awareness, we will stand up and demand more research. Not only into the environments where we are raising our children but in the products that we are using in our households.

Most parents who raise children on the spectrum aren't happy that I have a child with autism that on some days doesn't appear like she has autism. Used to have more days like that before the bad school. Now everyone can tell Doodle has autism! Therapy, countless hours working with her and eliminating so much in what she touches or she has contact with has really helped her to focus and become unlocked in her mind. It's time we start helping our kids. It's time we take a stand and find out the cause and looking at all things that could be the contributing factor.

And on that note! I'll see you guys on the flip side.

Back to school, Autism

I can honestly say that I am so excited about Doodle going back to school. I would say that I've been waiting for this the day after school let out, but it really hasn't been that bad this winter break. Sure she's done a lot of stemming and she's been sick and I've been sick. But it hasn't been that bad.

I went back to work on Saturday and Doodle goes back to school today. She's made a lot of progress during the winter break and I am elated!

I overheard her talking to herself and she actually slowed down and pronounced the word feathers. The th sound had always been a problem for Doodle. But she's more cautious now with how she is pronouncing things. And that makes me so happy.

I've spent as much time as I could with Doodle during the break while sick and trying to finish the magazine. The autism life is not always easy and the work involved makes me feel like I'm on teacher duty 24/7. But I'm starting to see progress again and that matters the most to me.

I want my child to succeed. And I'm going above and beyond to get her to that point. I'm still hoping that she wants to be doctor when she grows up. But if she wants to be an artist I will support that too. Whatever her future holds I'm willing to be there and support her to the best of my abilities. I always have and I always will.

If you are a parent and your child has just been diagnosed the most important thing to remember is the first three years are the hardest. All the appointments with doctors and therapists. Trying to figure out what would be the best thing for your child and it feels like you get no rest. Everything is jumbled together and if you can remember to breathe you're doing alright. There are bad doctors out there and there are bad therapists out there. If you feel like you're not being heard as a parent switch your child to someone else. That's the only way that your child has the stepping stones to succeed.

Today when I got up the first thing I sent off to the school was my letter for an IEP. I have the mitts our pediatrician sent to us. Cause those things were not the easiest to find here. And since these are technically our mitts, I want them back at the end of the school year just like I have to get the breathing machine from the school.

Well my day is already filled and I need to get back to work on the magazine and new programs I'm learning.

If you want to read the newest issue of the magazine you can find it here. This month and next month we are tackling a weighted blanket. Check it out. www.jsncreative.com/ezine Remember it's free, no need to use your email to view it and NO ads!

See you on the flip side!

New Year another day, Autism

Thank you so much that today is the last day for December.

I'm late getting the magazine done cause I was sick with the same stuff Doodle was sick with and that meant I could barely function. But naps were my friend. Doodle has taken to her Christmas presents. I have to push Doodle and keep her out of her comfort zone. Yeah, I know the comfort zone is what keeps our kids calm. Well, I'm not one of those parents. She somewhat loves learning as long as it's not at school. At home learning new things helps keeps her busy and out of trouble.

For the new year I'm going to try my hardest to turn her pictures she drew as a 6 year old into a book. That would be awesome to get that done around her birthday. But I myself am learning a new program for my publishing company. I'm keeping with my goals for myself that I have for Doodle. Stay out of your comfort zone.

Yeah, I know I already have so much that I do already and I am adding more stuff to my plate. I love my kid and I want her to have the same opportunities as a NT child. But she won't get there if I don't push her. No, I'm not gonna push someone else. My job is to push my child. Get my child to learn what she needs to learn. Practice, practice, practice. That's the key to meeting goals.

The saying in the autism community is, "You have to be taught something over a 1000 times before a child on the spectrum learns it". So there you go for how long it takes for your child to get where you can see change.

Today is New Years Eve and tomorrow is New Years Day. Start a visionary board on the goals that you want your child to reach. Just remember the hard work that you have to put in there to get them to that goal. Cause it takes teamwork to make that dream work.

See you all on the flip side and happy new year!

Happy Holidays, Autism

With Doodle being sick and now out of school. The days have been daunting. Add making a ton of pom poms for a craft I feel will never be finished and getting the same crud Doodle got. It's just not been fun.

Plus side is we are ready for the Holiday which is later in the morning. Doodle opened her Christmas Eve gift up and she fell asleep watching Dragons. She kept herself on schedule, which made me really happy.

So as of right now, she's out. I'm typing this while feeling like I'm having a hot flash. I hate this sore throat and congestion but my energy is finally coming back. And I'm not sleeping so much. So there is that.

Another note is the doctor's office mailed the mitts that I mentioned in a previous blog for when Doodle has meltdowns. So of course that has to now be handled with another IEP meeting. But not until the Holidays are over.

So from our family to yours, Happy Holidays! May your day be joyous and bright.

See you on the flip side.

You've got the fever, Autism

When a typical child gets sick it's easy for them to tell you what is wrong with them. But when you have a child on the spectrum get sick with limited speech, well that one is hard to figure out.

Doodle had her Christmas program at school. And she did very well but she wasn't herself. That morning before getting on the bus she was coughing and hacking up phlegm. Signs of an asthma issue. So she had to have a breathing treatment when she got to school.

During her program she wasn't her normal out of control self. But she did the program like a champ and I was so proud of her. I went to her when the show was over and gave her a kiss. And that's when I noticed, she felt like she was running a fever. So we headed to the nurses station. She was running a temp of 99.8. Time to check out of school and head home.

She's pretty much stayed in bed since she's been home. Her fever fluctuates from high 102.6 to 98.8 and she can't go back to school until she is fever free for 24 hours without the aide of of fever reducer. Doodle has requested soups and sprite during this time.

So far she has missed school on part of Wednesday and all of Thursday and at this point she's gonna miss Friday as well. I'm hoping that she will be well enough to go back to school on Monday and Tuesday. If not I will go to the school on the 18th and drop off the gifts for her classmates and pick up her treats and school shirt before coming home.

I hate that she's sick. And the only thing I can do is just treat the fever and cough. I know her throat hurts because the words she can say, her voice is having a hard time staying the octave that it's suppose to be.

Her fever did finally break on Saturday. Which means she's going back to school today and she is not pleased at all! She wants to stay home and watch the iPad. I'm ready for her to go back to school so I can get the last of Christmas taken care of.

Just two days, Doodle. That's all you have to worry about and the last day is a party so you will be fine! I still have to make sure her classmates get presents and treats and the teachers are taken care of too.

At least you have an update, though it's a short one because she is needing a lot of care and she's wanting to be cuddled. Which I don't mind as cuddling is not something she ever wants to do when she's well. I will take what I can get!

Bonus, I haven't gotten sick. So there's that!

See you on the flip side!

Self harming and Autism

Self harming is something almost all children on the Spectrum do. Some parents get lucky and the child will stop self harming. From slapping themselves, beating their heads on the floor to trying to remove their skin, it's not uncommon.

So what do you do when you find yourself in this situation? So many years ago when Doodle was little she beat her head on the floor. She was limited in speech and this was one of her coping mechanisms. Now that she's older and has speech it's not normal behavior out of her anymore. But during that time in her life she wore a ton of winter hats to soften the blows.

But we find ourselves in another boat. And we thought we had it pinned down. But that doesn't appear to be the case. Now we are trying to figure out why Doodle is trying to remove the skin off her body.

Until then we have to condition her to stop. And the only way to go about that is with medical mitts. Good news and bad news of this one. They work to help the person stop hitting or scratching their skin off. Bad news is, there is not a single medical supply store in the lower part of my state that carries them.

And believe me I have called around to every single medical supply store within 50 miles trying to locate some. Our pediatrician even has the prescription ready to go when I find a medical supply store who carries them. Unfortunately, couldn't locate one.

So I called out pediatrician and informed her and I'm at the point right now where I will just make some using genuine leather that I have on hand and the insides will be padded with warm fleece. She can think they are gloves. And she won't try to take them off to scratch herself, because I'm adding a velcro strap.  Then I received a call back from our pediatrician and they have contacted the rep for the medical mitts company and they are waiting on a call back from them.

That is the best news to receive. I will know that during these difficult meltdowns Doodle will be having a hard time scratching her face or her arms or her legs.

The reason I'm having to go this route is last week when Doodle got off the bus she looked like she got in a fight with a rabid dog and lost the fight. Her face was torn up! And it was one of the things she had done to herself according to the bus driver and bus aide.

Yes, the school is investigating the incident.

See you guys on the flip side.

   

Revelations and IEP's Autism

As you all know I've had to do a few extra IEP's due to regression. Wasn't sure what was causing the regression and wasn't sure why she was going through meltdowns, which was something that was not normal for Doodle.

So there I was on Wednesday sitting in the IEP meeting with the Vice Principal and Transportation, the speech therapist, teacher and LEA. Doodle had two meltdowns on the bus last month and I would feel better knowing that my child is being well behaved and not cause issues putting the safety of the driver and the rest of the students in danger. So that round at the table went very well. Vice Principal was on board with trying to find the triggers. It the way I felt. She wasn't having meltdowns at home. And for Doodle to have meltdowns at school and on the bus. That's not normal of Doodle.

When the Speech therapist was going over her data of what Doodle could and could not say and the sounds she was having trouble with she turned to me and said, " You had a death in the family? I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss." And that's when it hit me. We didn't have a death in my household family. We had a death in my work family. My co-worker lost her battle with cancer. And Doodle adored her! Even renamed her Jasper. When Trish lost her battle that was the time the meltdowns started. This was Doodle's way of grieving.

I informed the speech therapist of this and asked our teacher if when she got my text about my co-worker passing if that was the time the meltdowns started. She said yes it was. The speech therapist informed me that when that text was sent that's the two days they couldn't get Doodle to even go to therapy.

It all made sense. Now we know how we can better help her. We can help her with her grief and we can help her with those meltdowns. Doodle's not great at articulation which is why we had to do the first IEP. And it didn't help that she was losing speech again. She is at a really good school and there is no reason for her to be losing speech. At this point I can honestly say it's not regression. And it's not tantrums, she's locking herself in her mind because she's trying to convey what is wrong but just can't. Doesn't understand how.

I know of a few parents that can't make their IEP's. To me I'd better be dead to miss one. Because if you are requesting something, you won't get it 9 times out of 10 if you miss the IEP meeting. But to me this IEP was an eye opening one. It took about a month from the first meeting requesting the extra data accumulation so we could try to find out the cause of the loss of speech and the meltdowns. To resolving the problem at the second IEP.

I'm a pretty strict parent when it comes to Doodle and I know to a lot of people I make raising a child on the spectrum look easy. It's my dedication to my daughter, all the excess classes and training to be able to better help her. It used to take over a hundred times teaching her something before she could actually learn something. Now it doesn't take that much. Schedules and calendar of events that help her to stay on task every moment of the day. To me I've got it down to being easy according to most. But it also takes a lot of prep the day before to make sure that everything is ready to go even if her routine changes.

I like to be laid back and easy going and that's not always the case when it comes to autism. But I get through it. There is always so much that has to be done. Her routine means that I have to be on routine. The magazine has to be done. My classes have to be planned. I'm learning a new art form and I'm learning animation again. My life stays busy with me just being a regular mom. But I want Doodle to be independent. And if the laundry fairy doesn't get the laundry done while she's at school, well that causes an issue. If her snack box isn't made, yeah that causes an issue. Even if the vacuum cleaner isn't where it's suppose to be anything can set off a meltdown at home. Which is one of the things I've been lucky enough to make sure is avoided at all cost.

I'm off to get more work done. Have to create templates for online classes that will be coming to my website in March or possibly April.

See you guys on the flip side.

Thanksgiving week Autism

It's Thanksgiving week and I have so much to do. Still working on the magazine and no where near the finish line and it doesn't help that Doodle is out of school for the week. That's gonna be interesting. She's gonna be so mad when she goes back to a communication book.

But this is what we are resorted to going back to since we are losing speech at an incredible rate. If you guys haven't seen the communication book I have posted in a previous blog that's what we are going back too. I will be updating it only because I want to incorporate her to use complete sentences.

This morning I will be dropping my vehicle off to be worked on.

Life with autism can be hard enough, add a free magazine and vehicle repair work to the mix and you have yourself a whole headache of work to do. Now throw in being a single mom and it's Thanksgiving week and you have barely anything to survive off of.

I am considering changing the magazine to be paid but that won't be for a couple of years. I don't want it to come to that but it might have to be done.

I'm going to keep this post short as I know of all the work I have to do this week to get everything finalized for the magazine.

See you guys on the flip side.