So there I was on Wednesday sitting in the IEP meeting with the Vice Principal and Transportation, the speech therapist, teacher and LEA. Doodle had two meltdowns on the bus last month and I would feel better knowing that my child is being well behaved and not cause issues putting the safety of the driver and the rest of the students in danger. So that round at the table went very well. Vice Principal was on board with trying to find the triggers. It the way I felt. She wasn't having meltdowns at home. And for Doodle to have meltdowns at school and on the bus. That's not normal of Doodle.
When the Speech therapist was going over her data of what Doodle could and could not say and the sounds she was having trouble with she turned to me and said, " You had a death in the family? I wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss." And that's when it hit me. We didn't have a death in my household family. We had a death in my work family. My co-worker lost her battle with cancer. And Doodle adored her! Even renamed her Jasper. When Trish lost her battle that was the time the meltdowns started. This was Doodle's way of grieving.
I informed the speech therapist of this and asked our teacher if when she got my text about my co-worker passing if that was the time the meltdowns started. She said yes it was. The speech therapist informed me that when that text was sent that's the two days they couldn't get Doodle to even go to therapy.
It all made sense. Now we know how we can better help her. We can help her with her grief and we can help her with those meltdowns. Doodle's not great at articulation which is why we had to do the first IEP. And it didn't help that she was losing speech again. She is at a really good school and there is no reason for her to be losing speech. At this point I can honestly say it's not regression. And it's not tantrums, she's locking herself in her mind because she's trying to convey what is wrong but just can't. Doesn't understand how.
I know of a few parents that can't make their IEP's. To me I'd better be dead to miss one. Because if you are requesting something, you won't get it 9 times out of 10 if you miss the IEP meeting. But to me this IEP was an eye opening one. It took about a month from the first meeting requesting the extra data accumulation so we could try to find out the cause of the loss of speech and the meltdowns. To resolving the problem at the second IEP.
I'm a pretty strict parent when it comes to Doodle and I know to a lot of people I make raising a child on the spectrum look easy. It's my dedication to my daughter, all the excess classes and training to be able to better help her. It used to take over a hundred times teaching her something before she could actually learn something. Now it doesn't take that much. Schedules and calendar of events that help her to stay on task every moment of the day. To me I've got it down to being easy according to most. But it also takes a lot of prep the day before to make sure that everything is ready to go even if her routine changes.
I like to be laid back and easy going and that's not always the case when it comes to autism. But I get through it. There is always so much that has to be done. Her routine means that I have to be on routine. The magazine has to be done. My classes have to be planned. I'm learning a new art form and I'm learning animation again. My life stays busy with me just being a regular mom. But I want Doodle to be independent. And if the laundry fairy doesn't get the laundry done while she's at school, well that causes an issue. If her snack box isn't made, yeah that causes an issue. Even if the vacuum cleaner isn't where it's suppose to be anything can set off a meltdown at home. Which is one of the things I've been lucky enough to make sure is avoided at all cost.
I'm off to get more work done. Have to create templates for online classes that will be coming to my website in March or possibly April.
See you guys on the flip side.
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