Here's the long over due update, Autism

As many of you will have noticed, since before school started I went MIA. I miss writing about our lives but it was for the best. Right now Doodle is in a new school, that is geared towards her disability. She is now under the care of a psychiatrist. And it was after I prayed and cried over it for three days.

Her school bus goes to the old school to pick up the kids that used to be in Doodle's class last year. Cause it's a special needs bus. Well two incidents happened on the school bus and the last incident was the last straw. Someone got on the bus from and at the old school to "help" one of the students and turned to talk to Doodle. Doodle flipped out started crying, hitting herself, punching herself in the face and just would not let up. By the time she was dropped off at the house she couldn't be calmed down until the next day which was Saturday. The Friday routine was a no go. And anyone who knows Doodle knows that she won't turn down an ice cream cone, which she did. She changed into her night gown and got into bed and refused to move until the next day.

I was livid! This is my child and for her to not stay on routine and scream and cry for the rest of the day and night was unacceptable. I called for an emergency IEP meeting and the new school took immediate action to protect their student. They got the school board involved without hesitation and the matter was resolved. But that didn't stop with the damage that had already been done. Doodle exhibits PTSD while at the school and it took two months to get her to work through having anxiety just from being on the school grounds in the school bus.

So I talked to a friend of mine, who I get the best advice from. She's principal level fired. She highly recommended a psychiatrist, the one in the same that got her principal level fired. Doodle has been seeing him for a month and I've been going to him for a little longer to fill him in on Doodle and what's been going on.

Next week I will know what all else needs to be done, because at this point our new doctor has been testing Doodle so that she can get back up to par and give the school tips and resources to help Doodle learn. So that's where we stand right now.

Another reason you guys have not heard from me is that I have been spending a lot of time at work. And when I wasn't at work I have been working on glow paintings. I created a challenge on JSN Creative's facebook page called the challenge accepted challenge. That's where you have two days to recreate artwork out of what people post to your wall. Along with that I have had two massive paintings that needed to be worked on and when they are finished they also will be done as glow in the dark paintings. So as you can see, I've been extremely busy with everything going on and writing has been furthest from my mind. Sorry, it's called life and it does happen.

You guys have a great day. Hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving.

How to request an IEP, Autism

Not every single parent that has a child with special needs knows how to do this. And it is one of the most valuable pieces information that I can relay to you. Yes, I had to be taught this, but I was taught by a teacher that knew how to teach children on the spectrum. I've dealt with this so much in the past two years I can literally write up a letter, because I know how it's suppose to read and why it has to be done this way, in my sleep. And yes, at the end of the day a few times last year after Doodle was asleep and the picture schedule cleared, I've written a few half asleep.

I've also written one waiting at the light to get across the street to the school. So it' something that you need to make sure that you know how to write, when to write it and if it's really necessary to write one.

The common grounds for calling an IEP meeting are red flags. Red flags are things that your child is doing or behaviors that your child is exhibiting. When my husband was deployed for a year Doodle flipped her wig and I was told by her awesome teacher that I needed to call for an IEP meeting so they could address the issue and come up with a plan to correct the behavior. Remember that children on the spectrum do not handle change at all. It was really the first time that I had to ever deal with ABA. But this was my first lesson and after two failed attempts to write this thing up, I was shown how to do it.

So from me to you, here is your early Christmas. First off depending on how the school has treated you in the past depends on who all you call into your IEP. Find out who is head of the special needs department in your school district. If the school and the principal have denied your request in the past then you need to start contacting the ones over their heads for your last attempt before you call in your Advocate.

Don't be afraid to call in your advocate, remember that they are provided for you free of charge. And never be afraid to make the school aware that you are contacting your advocate and explain what the advocate is to them. Because using the word advocate won't always tell them it's a free lawyer provided for special needs cases. Here in the state where I live our advocates are know as ADAP which is short for Alabama Disabilities Advocacy Program. In most cases your advocate will tell you everything that you need to do, if that doesn't get results they will jump in and take over. They will even fight in the IEP meeting for your childs' rights on your behalf.

If you don't explain to the school what an advocate is, it's just like saying well, "I'm going home to call my ham sandwich." See, how this sentence makes no sense and how you can't take the person's sentence seriously? If I get the rebuff from the front desk I casually say, "That's okay. If I go home now I will be tempted to contact my advocate. And you are aware that my advocate is a lawyer that is provided free through the state for my childs rights." And that's all it takes. Not only do I get a response back immediately but I do end up getting results. Schools don't like the parents that come in and know all about their childs rights. It just throws a wrench into their plans and makes their day worse. Schools want to handle everything without lawyers getting involved because that would end up costing them way more money in the end.

So how does one call for an IEP meeting? Here are two examples. The first example is a standard IEP meeting call. The second will be a when you need to bring in everyone before the advocate can take over.

Side note: I always make my letters out the same, and it's always made out To Whom It May Concern.

Letter 1:

Date

To Whom It May Concern:

I am requesting an IEP meeting to be held on behalf of (insert child's full name) in regards to (insert your concerns) with (insert teachers name), (speech therapist name) and (occupational therapist name).

Under the laws and guidelines of my IEP rights, you have 10 days to respond and set up said meeting.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

 (Insert your full name)


Letter 2:

Date

To Whom It May Concern:

I am requesting an IEP meeting to be held on behalf of (insert child's full name) in regards to (insert your concerns) with (insert teachers name), (speech therapist name), (occupational therapist name), (principal's name) and (insert head of special education at school boards name).

Under the laws and guidelines of my IEP rights, you have 10 days to respond and set up said meeting.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

 (Insert your full name)

I do hand write all of my letters and either make a copy or take a picture of them before I send the letter off in Doodle's book bag. I also mark on my calendar the day the letter was sent off to the school and circle 10 working business days that I would be getting my response. I've always gotten my meeting way before the 10th day and I have always been called by that afternoon the letter was sent to set up the time and date.

I have known parents that verbally request and they have never been given their meeting. I have informed them of the importance of writing their letter as it is required that a letter be written. Sometimes, info falls on deaf ears because they have complained all throughout the school year they never got any of the meetings that they had requested all school year.

Keep your sanity and your head up. School is only as hard as you make it.

Hope you guys have a great day!

Learning something new, Autism

If you guys have not utilized the opportunity at Michaels Craft Store during the summer, you're missing out on some valuable Occupational Therapy. And you are also missing out on a great opportunity for your kids to learn something new. Look, I know that we are all tired when we drag our kids to outside services and we can't rely on just school services alone.

On Wednesday, Michaels Craft Store had two crafts for the kids to make. And it was a puppy dog when you pulled on the dogs tongue his ears would move. The other is a game that I just adored and it was a perfect game for Doodle and I to play together. I called it tic tac fish, but in reality it was tic tac toe. These projects were done at all Michaels Craft Stores across the nation.

Doodle has never really played tic tac toe. But she does love herself some fish and therefore it made it the perfect opportunity to play together. I only let her win the first four games. After that I helped guide her through 6 games. By the end of it all she was giving me a run for her money. She was laughing and trying to cheat by putting all her fish on the board at once.

I had never even known about Michaels Craft Stores even offering summer crafting before I started working there. And it's very rare that we go in on Saturday for the kids craft days, unless it's fish related. And since she is getting into the new and old Ghostbusters for Halloween it will be a perfect opportunity to create a tic tac toe house and make ghosts for the playing pieces.

I love the opportunity when it arises to teach my daughter something new, considering the past school year has been really rough and the only time that she did any school work was homework that I highly insisted on coming home. (Yes, the teacher got in a lot of trouble at the IEP meeting when it was mentioned that homework was not coming home.) Yeah, I'm the bad parent because my child has rights and I will not have them violated.

Doodle has only 4 more weeks before school starts and I am almost prepared. Just need to get under garments, socks, shoes, (I'm going back to sketchers, they last longer with her) a few more shorts and lots of pants. Because we all know that some uniforms will need to left at the school.

I hope that you guys are keeping up with your list of everything that needs to be addressed at the beginning of the school year IEP. If you don't schedule an IEP meeting at the beginning of the school then you aren't switching to a new school or are happy with the state of your childs' school. When there is a change such as school or teacher I call for an IEP meeting. If there are things that have come up during the summer and your child doesn't have summer school then the first day make sure that you are writing up a letter calling for an IEP meeting, to be sent with your child the first day of school. I will address this matter in a later blog post for those who don't know how to do this.

You guys have a great day.

It was a bad sensory day, Autism

So during the week, Doodle had a horrible sensory moment. Why do I call it a sensory moment? Because sometimes things happen in our life and when we look back on it, it's just a drop in the bucket in our life. Yes, Doodle does have a lot of days where sensory overloads happen. It can't be avoided in our lives. Some stores we just can't shop at because of the lighting. And well Publix is turning into one of those stores. For Doodle, lighting has always been her sensory issue. The lighting has to stay consistent. If it can't be consistent then it just leads to all sorts of problems for her and for me as her mother and care giver.

When we walked into the store it was fine until we left the vestibule area. That's when she clamped onto me, closed her eyes and covered her face. I was basically dragging her through the grocery store. In the flower department it was pretty dim. No lighting on at all and it was only 4:00 in the afternoon. The produce section was pretty dim as well, but the shelves where the main produce was held, well, that had it's lights on. You know the section that sprays the produce when the thunder sound is made. So it was a bit confusing to her.

Let me tell you about this awesome invention that saved me my sanity in Publix. It's known in my circles as the Caroline Cart and it was made for parents with children with Special Needs. Those who can and can't walk. For those with children on the spectrum that like to run off when you turn to look at a product for a split second, this is the cart for you, as you can buckle your child in for their safety.

Look I can't drag my kid around a store, it kills my back when she is immobile from sensory issues that cause her to freeze up. She sat in the Caroline Cart and kept her eyes closed. But I was able to get everything on my mental list that I needed. Most of the time when an issue like this arises I can only managed to get two items and then leave. I don't want my child to be uncomfortable. It makes me more uncomfortable when she is in distress.

I will admit that I did get a lot of stares because here I am a mom pushing my 10 year old that looks perfectly normal in a Caroline Cart. And yes, under normal circumstances I will gladly leave the Caroline Cart for someone who needs it, just like I can get a handicapped placard but since she can walk with no issues I'm not going to even think about getting a handicapped space because someone else that really needs it can use it. I could care less about the looks. No my child is not lazy. Yes, I was saving my sanity because once she locks up it's only a matter of time before the meltdown ensues.

You guys have a great day.

It's summer, is it really break time, Autism?

Wednesday's post did not include the Autism tag in the title like it normally does. But that's okay because I can't be expected to remember everything. Considering what all is going on in our lives thanks in part to battling regression in our lives. No parent wants to go through a regression. It's like taking one step forward and 30 steps back.

Not a finer moment in our type of lives, considering we don't live normal lives to begin with. Well, now that it's the summer time and things are beginning to fall into place for us with reconditioning and picture schedules, what should I be doing other then trying to take a break? Nope, not gonna happen. A new school year is approaching which means a new IEP meeting.

So at this point, every time something comes up I jot it down. I want things corrected with Doodle that I just can't correct myself. Other then using pencils or crayons that are less then an inch long I have no way of correcting palmer grip. Palmer grip is were a child doesn't hold a pencil or marker or crayon other then in the fist of their hand. Basically, like a one year old or toddler would hold it. Doodle has been using the palmer grip for the past year. She's too old for that. She knows better, but it's something that I suspect is due to the regression.

She's also been tapping on everything thing, cars, beds, care bears. You name it she will tap on it and won't be able to move until the tapping is out of her system.

Her vocal stemming is getting much better since I have started the reconditioning. As a matter of fact I haven't heard it in a couple of days. But the tapping has increased and we all know the tapping is a form of stemming. One bad habit for another. Great!!! More things that want to grate my nerves.

If you are not taking notes starting right now to be better prepared for the new school year. You just aren't being prepared. I know it's a lot of work but look at it this way. The more work that you put into something at the start of it the sooner this part of your job will be over. You and the teachers will be on the same track. Unless you had a teacher like we did last year. If I were to deal with the same case of that all over again, I think I would just push for a new school or even put Doodle in a regular ed classroom and let it be the school's problem to deal with. Instead of just being in the self contained classroom.

So the question to you would be, do you really want the type of success that I can get with my child? Yeah, I know this past school year was miserable! For me and for Doodle. But I got what I wanted. I had unlimited access to the classroom, just sign in at the front desk and didn't have to wait on a teacher to come see me. Just waltzed right on in there like I owned that classroom. For the awards ceremony the last week of school I asked to have Doodle get her award first. I didn't want to miss the awards, but I also had to be at the new school to register and book it immediately to work to teach a calligraphy class. And yep, Doodle's class was the first to get called up for their awards and Doodle was the second kid to get her award. What makes it awesome is that Doodle's class was the class that always went dead last. Every single awards ceremony. So I didn't miss out. I got my pictures, got to give her a hug and kiss and booked it to the new school.

If you think that you are tired now and you will never be able to do this because your always so tired. Life is draining. You will have this mentality always. It's something that you will never be able to lose. If you don't put in the work nothing will ever start getting easy and nothing will change. Everything will always stay hard. And you will always stay tired.

When you put in the work for your child, only then can you see the benefits of your hard work. If you aren't getting what you want in the IEP meeting keep scheduling IEP meetings. Eventually the school will succumb to your requests. Technically, you're not to be denied services. Behavior, ABA, therapy. It doesn't matter, they are not to deny you, it's your right even before your IEP contract is drawn up. If you allow others (the school) to convince you that no you can't or they can't or they won't, that's where your free legal help comes into play.

The reason that I am starting now is because I don't want to walk into my meeting and just shake and nod my head because I can't remember what all I need them to work on with Doodle. As long as I have a paper that I've been keeping track with then I'm already ahead of the game. I've also listed what all I've been doing during the summer to get the tantrum behavior under control. Thanks to the teacher and her own form of conditioning, throwing a wrench in the well oiled machine. Some days Doodle will have a meltdown but we've had more tantrums then we've had meltdowns. And there is a big difference between the two.

So the school will have what has been taking place and where they can go from there and continue on with the progress. Because that's what I want out of my child is progress.

At this point I can direct more attention to where attention needs to be placed. It only takes me a few moments out of my time to do this little bit of a task. And hey if you find yourself without a pen and paper, you do know you can text yourself on your phone. I'd actually done that for years. Very convenient.

I will be re-doing the blog again. It's summer and it's the start of summer crafting. I have lots of little projects that I know you and your kids will love as Doodle and I really enjoy our summer time treats. There won't be much to report unless a lot of progress is being made. Everything is slowing down at work and I can work on Doodle's line. I also have a book that I am working on on JSN Creative Services and I do plan on putting some crafts with that. I want families to enjoy time with each other and crafting together along with praying together is the best way to keep families together.

I can't promise that I wil be able to keep my standard schedule of Monday, Wednesday and Friday but I will at least give it the 50's version of the good ol' college try. Because let's face it, this day and age the

college try isn't up to snuff.

If there is something that you want help with or if you want pictures for your own picture schedules and how to make it, let me know I will will work on that for you. All you have to do is ask.

Hope you guys have a great day!

Update time, regressions and summer break

Right before summer hit as you all know we lost one of our own in our community. As school was winding down and I was the classroom mom and part of the PTA, I stretched myself a little thin. But it's all good now. It's summer time, I'm working some days, sometimes doubles at work. I've got to make some aprons and capes for a friend. Doodle is partaking in Camp Creativity for OT homework during the summer. And even though I had informed Doodle's teacher that I wanted a summer pack, she assured me that I would be receiving a summer pack, so that there would be no small or large educational regression during the summer. Hey, guess what I didn't get! So we are going to be doing Camp Creativity, counting money and learning how to order for ourselves. Thankfully, everyone at work and our friends at Dairy Queen are very patient with Doodle.

Doodle has stopped picking at her skin, but her speech is falling. Tuesday night I got home from work late. Doodle was still wide awake. I told her, "You're suppose to be asleep!" She responded with, "Surprise!!!" And that has been the main word she's used for a couple of days. It's taking longer for her to answer request in what she wants and the correct way in which to say it. But once she gets into the new school hopefully everything will get back on track with progression.

I'm not sure if I have made the announcement, I'm sure that I have but Doodle has gotten into the school I was pushing for, for the past two years. So starting the new school year she will be a panther. That's the school's mascot. I couldn't be more excited. The bonuses are that she will be getting the same services she received from the school district that we loved so much and miss every single day!

So now I am working hard on Doodle's line. I've already got plenty of Lavender soap stocked piled and now I am working on her other product lines. I want to make sure that I have a large enough stock pile before I start putting products up for sale. I already have a few stores lined up that want to carry Doodle's line. And before school starts up, I will having the launch party, where samples will be given out for free. To not only celebrate the line launch but to celebrate Doodle getting into the new school.

So what else would there need to be said? Well, I'm frustrated with the school that she's left behind. This summer I am spending more time trying to re-condition Doodle back to where she was before the move almost two years ago. If you guys remember, back during the school year I shared with you how I conditioned her to do homework without complaints. I also have a picture schedule that I use only when days are really bad for Doodle. No fighting, she does what she the schedule says and I don't even have to say a word except for, "Look at your schedule." I haven't used the schedule in a long time, but this is common bread and butter to autism.

I do have a blog post all about the schedule. I have even increased her use of her communication book. Because she's just not speaking the way that she used too. Every time she completes a task on her schedule she gets a small piece of candy. At work they had on clearance little foot print hard candy's for cakes. It was a large bag for $1.99 so of course I couldn't pass it up. And those are the candies that we are working with for the month.

Never give a sucker to a child on the spectrum who is suppose to be completing tasks. I used to watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey, that is until one of the moms' found out her kid had autism. At first I was all happy about it, then she started doing all the no no's of autism. He completed a task she gave him a sucker, and tried to get him to continue on with the task, with no success. Well, duh, your kid got a reward that could take him 20-30 minutes to finish, he has no desire to work on what you want him to work on. And then there was the episode where they were on the hunt for camels milk, because it helped remove the autism from their child. And that was the last time that I watched the show. The parents were just grasping at straws. Look, cows milk has been linked to causing stomach issues in children on the spectrum. If you replace cows milk with almond milk or rice milk or even goats milk you don't have to drive around Amish country on your vacation in a tour bus to hunt down camels milk. Children on the spectrum suffer from gut issues, that's no secret. Seeing all this just grated my nerves to no end.

They also suffer from yeast issues. And many like my Doodle are highly sensitive to sls. Anything with sls in it will cause her to hit herself, beat her own head in the floor and cause her to try to rip her skin off her own body. Which is why I make all my own products for her. I can eliminate that issue for her and she can better focus and concentrate. Focus and concentration is one of the issues that children on the spectrum have.

So as I was saying about the picture schedule. Doodle has acclimated back to the picture schedule beautifully. Every time she does a task she comes to me for her small piece of candy. Skittles work great as well but I went with what I have. It's a small piece of candy. It works beautifully and I don't have to wait until she's finished with a sucker or playing with a sucker (lollipop).

And why have I not started reconditioning during the school year you might be wondering. Well, it all boils down to this. Doodle is normally in school for 8 hours a day. The only time I have Doodle for more then 8 hours is when she is on holiday or the weekends. Everything I would be working on during the school breaks or during the weekends would end up being derailed by the teacher that she had. Every weekend I would be starting new. I just don't have the patience for that. I did however have the patience to wait for summer break and start fresh.

So in other words I am doing my own form of compliance training, with expectations using candy rewards. So far so good. By next week she will be progressing again with no issues. The regression should officially be halted in it tracks with the help of her communications book. Re-reading through some of the blog from 2015 I can see Doodle's decline and all that has been done with the teacher from the school year we just left.

As a parent of a child on the spectrum it is our job to make sure that our children stay on track if we don't get the option for summer help. They really don't do that here. Use everything in your power to get your child back on track. I can honestly say that this coming school year I will not be doing as many IEP's as I had been used to doing for the past 2 years. And that's because it's a school that is used to doing IEP's they already know the rights. From what I understand they even hold a seminar every year to let parents met lawyers and learn even more about their rights. This school is going to be my dream. I can officially say that I will be retiring from leveling up. Bus driver got dismissed, leveled up, para got fired, I leveled up again.

And speaking of leveling up. Doodle's teacher that has caused all the issues that I am currently correcting. I've already gotten word that she was let go a few days after the last day of school. But I will admit that the teacher had taught me a lot. And it's information that you yourself need to know. Sign up for class room mom and sign up for PTA/PTO at the school. That's the easiest way to have unquestioned access to your child in the classroom. Many of us as parents work and yes I understand that you can't be at the school as much as teachers think. But you need to sign up. You need to be more involved in your child's education. The more you pop in that classroom the more you know what's going on.

Have a great day guys.

We've lost one of our own Autism

Our autism community is devastated over the loss of a young man by the name of Kreed. His parents ran the blog Kreed's World: A Complex Journey Through Autism.
We will all miss the smiling boy known as Kreed who enjoyed Five Guys and swinging. How he interacted with his mother. We all saw a bit of our own child in Kreed.

But let me tell you about Kreed's mother. When I first came across the blog two years ago I was in awe! A child on the spectrum who didn't live his life as a shut in. This is one of the reason's why I rebelled and make it a quest for us to get out. For if we and our children are out in the world, that is the easiest way to spread autism awareness. And for my child to learn how to be out in the world.

And she wasn't just taking her son out to restaurants, He was going to concerts! Now that's something I never thought my child would be able to do. But this is a mom who saw potential in her child. And yes, sometimes I forget there is potential in Doodle.

If we don't get our children out in the world and teaching them how to interact with those around us, we will never be able to show the world that our children do matter. Some kids on the spectrum have a voice, some children use their words. others use a dynovox, some like Doodle use a communication book, sign language or their parents try to speak for them.

Thanks to Kreed's mother, Erin and her blog she taught me so much of being an autism mom. What all I was doing wrong and what I was doing right. You see as a community we stand together and learn from one another. Some can really learn while the others sit back and watch.

And though Doodle is not being taught to my standards for her education, all that will change the next school year but at home because I applied what Erin taught me through her blog, Doodle has truly thrived. And though Five Guys isn't our favorite restaurant of choice, we found a home in Dairy Queen. Which just goes to show that our kids can be out in the community. And just recently we have been enjoying Rock n Roll sushi. Doodle is getting pretty good at chop sticks.

So on that note, because I do have so much work to do tonight and tomorrow before I work a double shift at work, preparing for the summer, giving kids something to do and Doodle's essential oil line, I want to say this.

Thank you Erin. Though I'm sure that you won't read this blog. But thank you for sharing your journey and your son with us. You may not realize it but you have taught some of us a lot about ourselves and a lot about our children. I hope that you continue on with posting some of the information that you know.There are still a crop of parents that need your information and your help. We will all miss Kreed, but rest assured there is a little bit of Kreed in all of our kids, when they make us smile. When they are silly and when they are swinging or jumping on the trampoline. For we will never forget the boy who loved the color orange and loved his superman shirts. And we will never forget what Kreed has taught us.

We will never forget Kreed, the true super hero.