First day of school, Autism

So Tuesday was our first day of school where we live. And it was a pretty good day. Her teacher did inform me at meet the teacher day, they were still looking for a para educator for the classroom. I'm not going to sweat this part. Yes, it's important for her teacher to have a para educator for the classroom because it's a school filled with special needs children. It will just take some time to find one. I can almost guarantee by the time the next open house at school begins there will be a para in the room.

So far Doodle has been in school for two days. The first day when she got home she was moody. And not in a good way. But my goal was to keep her awake for as long as I could so that she wouldn't come home and take a nap. So the afternoon was filled with activities. We waited at home for a bit, had dinner and went into Michaels craft store. Our kids instructor was having a bling up class. And that is a class I wanted Doodle to do. We shopped around the store for a bit to find things that she could put shiny letters and jewels on her pencil box and a slap bracelet that I bought her.

By the time the class started she was becoming very tired. And it only took an hour for Doodle, my mother and myself to do our projects and by the time we were finished, Doodle was ready for bed. When we got home she took her bath and with only one melatonin pill and she was out in less then 5 minutes. So my plan had worked. Momma got time to herself which is rare since school let out last school year.

As for the second day she wasn't moody, which was good. She was well behaved when I picked her up from school. We had a family function that we had to attend and I was afraid given how late it would be that I would not be home in time to pick her up from the bus. She showed appropriate behavior and whispered during that quiet time. She did get bored and lit her shoes up but she had no issues. It used to be during events like this during quiet time Doodle would scream out, "She's dead??!!" Or she would lay on a couch and pretend to be dead by closing her eyes and sticking out her tongue. So yeah, my form of autism can be pretty embarrassing and comical.

It was the first time that she has been so well behaved. But I know that since she is now getting up at 6:00 am she still needs plenty of sleep and now that school is back in school she's back on a regular sleep schedule. Which is harder then it appears. But if you work hard at it, you can get your child on the spectrum into a sleep schedule too. But that's more of another blog. I think I might have talked about it in a previous blog but it might have been a long time ago.

So how is Doodle doing now? So far she's been asleep since after 8 pm and it's now 9:08 and I can type in peace and quiet. I've gotten so much done in the past two days that I am really happy. I'm happy that tomorrow I might be walking around the park with my friend Stacey. If the weather permits. If not the weather will be perfect for me to make some soap. And I need to have a stock pile just like right now I have a stock pile of painting medium that I worked on yesterday and today.

It's only this month that I am trying to catch up on everything. Considering that I am only one person and an autism mom to boot, I can barely pay a friend to help me catch up. Even when I was doing that I still didn't have time to get back to the blog. But only because I was working on art in resin and getting my qualifications to teach watercolor. That's why I haven't been writing the blog. Because of work and keeping up with the trends. And now that I am rambling it's time to call it a night. Actually, I'm going to proofread this as the thunder rumbles outside and get this ready to post in the morning.

See you guys on the flip side.

Welcome back to school, Autism

The day before school lets back in is the time when life can get a bit hectic. But it doesn't have to be. Kids are going back to school. For this mom it's time for mommy time! During the summer I worked. And I worked a lot. I also stayed stressed a lot, because my vehicle also needed a major repair to the engine. Now is the time Doodle goes back to school and gets extra therapy thanks to our new school and I get time to actually think. No YouTube blaring in the background. But I get to catch up on all the things that need to be done. Soaps, painting mediums and new art book, plus I want to get back to working on this blog.

So today is the day before school starts and what did I do today? Put Doodle in her new school shoes and went to meet the teacher. What did I learn? Doodle though, she picked out these new shoes that light up she also decided today was the day she no longer liked said shoes. So we were on the hunt for new Sketchers. Yeah, the shoe choice of kids on the spectrum. Why oh why does it have to be such an expensive shoe company?? Well, where we moved to there happens to be a Sketchers Outlet store just 5 miles away from our house and I like to shop clearance section cause it's cheaper.

So what do you do moms and dads, the day before school starts? Make life easier on yourselves. Take you child to their favorite place to eat. Let them have fun and enjoy the day before the new routine goes into effect. And go early! Dairy Queen to the rescue for this mom. That way you can start bedtime routine an hour earlier. And while your child is in the bathtub, go ahead and put the iPad to bed too. At a certain time of the night is when Doodle knows iPad time is over and she has to put it in it's designated spot for the entire night and she's not allowed to touch it until I'm awake. Also, during bath time I like to spray down her bed with water mixed with lavender oil. Lots of lavender oil. I use the Now brand. If you prefer something else, use that but for a tight budget the Now company is just as pure as the other companies.

Doodle gave no fight and went to bed after a short time. Thank you melatonin for kicking in so quickly tonight. So what do I do while she's snoozing. I went and got my shower. While we were out shopping today I also bought myself a pair of shoes cause lets face it, parents need to keep up with kids on the spectrum. Can't do that with shoes that are about to be at the point where they have seen better days. And there is no support in these shoes cause I bought them at work to splatter up for our Splatter event at work.

I got my shower and exfoliated cause it's very rare I get to pamper myself in the shower. Afterwards I put on the biore strip. Because the first day of school is the first day of mom time or dad time. And the most important part of tomorrow is what is the most important day for you.

Your little bundle of precious is going to be dropped off or put on the bus, please refrain from kissing the bus driver when they pull up. I know you will be tempted but please refrain. When your child gets back into the doors of higher education, make sure that you have your own play date already scheduled. My friend Stacey and I meet up every Monday during the school year to catch up and just enjoy adult conversation. No kids hitting themselves or having a meltdown. Or playing my favorite game of trying to figure out what they want or what they are trying to say. If you don't have this moment for yourself scheduled; now would be the time to get that scheduled. And hurry school is about to be here. It's starting early for us this year. So early the Holderness family has yet to get their back to school video done. I was so hoping to post it tomorrow on my Facebook page. But hey, what can you do?

Also if you have pure aloe vera gel, get a makeup pad and put some on your under eyes. It takes away the puffiness of a summer where you wanted to loose your mind at points. Way better then cucumbers and that question of it was on my eyes do I throw it away or eat it??

Two weeks from the day school starts back, make sure that you schedule your manicure and pedicure. Find time in your schedule. This is your recharge. You're a good parent. You deserve to pamper yourself other than just exfoliating in the shower. And two weeks is enough time to either save up a bit and school is in full swing and you've gone back to the normal of what is a good time in our season.

Take care guys. I will be running from the bus in the morning like I sometimes do at work when I get off work by running and screaming, "freedom"!!!

Here's the long over due update, Autism

As many of you will have noticed, since before school started I went MIA. I miss writing about our lives but it was for the best. Right now Doodle is in a new school, that is geared towards her disability. She is now under the care of a psychiatrist. And it was after I prayed and cried over it for three days.

Her school bus goes to the old school to pick up the kids that used to be in Doodle's class last year. Cause it's a special needs bus. Well two incidents happened on the school bus and the last incident was the last straw. Someone got on the bus from and at the old school to "help" one of the students and turned to talk to Doodle. Doodle flipped out started crying, hitting herself, punching herself in the face and just would not let up. By the time she was dropped off at the house she couldn't be calmed down until the next day which was Saturday. The Friday routine was a no go. And anyone who knows Doodle knows that she won't turn down an ice cream cone, which she did. She changed into her night gown and got into bed and refused to move until the next day.

I was livid! This is my child and for her to not stay on routine and scream and cry for the rest of the day and night was unacceptable. I called for an emergency IEP meeting and the new school took immediate action to protect their student. They got the school board involved without hesitation and the matter was resolved. But that didn't stop with the damage that had already been done. Doodle exhibits PTSD while at the school and it took two months to get her to work through having anxiety just from being on the school grounds in the school bus.

So I talked to a friend of mine, who I get the best advice from. She's principal level fired. She highly recommended a psychiatrist, the one in the same that got her principal level fired. Doodle has been seeing him for a month and I've been going to him for a little longer to fill him in on Doodle and what's been going on.

Next week I will know what all else needs to be done, because at this point our new doctor has been testing Doodle so that she can get back up to par and give the school tips and resources to help Doodle learn. So that's where we stand right now.

Another reason you guys have not heard from me is that I have been spending a lot of time at work. And when I wasn't at work I have been working on glow paintings. I created a challenge on JSN Creative's facebook page called the challenge accepted challenge. That's where you have two days to recreate artwork out of what people post to your wall. Along with that I have had two massive paintings that needed to be worked on and when they are finished they also will be done as glow in the dark paintings. So as you can see, I've been extremely busy with everything going on and writing has been furthest from my mind. Sorry, it's called life and it does happen.

You guys have a great day. Hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving.

How to request an IEP, Autism

Not every single parent that has a child with special needs knows how to do this. And it is one of the most valuable pieces information that I can relay to you. Yes, I had to be taught this, but I was taught by a teacher that knew how to teach children on the spectrum. I've dealt with this so much in the past two years I can literally write up a letter, because I know how it's suppose to read and why it has to be done this way, in my sleep. And yes, at the end of the day a few times last year after Doodle was asleep and the picture schedule cleared, I've written a few half asleep.

I've also written one waiting at the light to get across the street to the school. So it' something that you need to make sure that you know how to write, when to write it and if it's really necessary to write one.

The common grounds for calling an IEP meeting are red flags. Red flags are things that your child is doing or behaviors that your child is exhibiting. When my husband was deployed for a year Doodle flipped her wig and I was told by her awesome teacher that I needed to call for an IEP meeting so they could address the issue and come up with a plan to correct the behavior. Remember that children on the spectrum do not handle change at all. It was really the first time that I had to ever deal with ABA. But this was my first lesson and after two failed attempts to write this thing up, I was shown how to do it.

So from me to you, here is your early Christmas. First off depending on how the school has treated you in the past depends on who all you call into your IEP. Find out who is head of the special needs department in your school district. If the school and the principal have denied your request in the past then you need to start contacting the ones over their heads for your last attempt before you call in your Advocate.

Don't be afraid to call in your advocate, remember that they are provided for you free of charge. And never be afraid to make the school aware that you are contacting your advocate and explain what the advocate is to them. Because using the word advocate won't always tell them it's a free lawyer provided for special needs cases. Here in the state where I live our advocates are know as ADAP which is short for Alabama Disabilities Advocacy Program. In most cases your advocate will tell you everything that you need to do, if that doesn't get results they will jump in and take over. They will even fight in the IEP meeting for your childs' rights on your behalf.

If you don't explain to the school what an advocate is, it's just like saying well, "I'm going home to call my ham sandwich." See, how this sentence makes no sense and how you can't take the person's sentence seriously? If I get the rebuff from the front desk I casually say, "That's okay. If I go home now I will be tempted to contact my advocate. And you are aware that my advocate is a lawyer that is provided free through the state for my childs rights." And that's all it takes. Not only do I get a response back immediately but I do end up getting results. Schools don't like the parents that come in and know all about their childs rights. It just throws a wrench into their plans and makes their day worse. Schools want to handle everything without lawyers getting involved because that would end up costing them way more money in the end.

So how does one call for an IEP meeting? Here are two examples. The first example is a standard IEP meeting call. The second will be a when you need to bring in everyone before the advocate can take over.

Side note: I always make my letters out the same, and it's always made out To Whom It May Concern.

Letter 1:

Date

To Whom It May Concern:

I am requesting an IEP meeting to be held on behalf of (insert child's full name) in regards to (insert your concerns) with (insert teachers name), (speech therapist name) and (occupational therapist name).

Under the laws and guidelines of my IEP rights, you have 10 days to respond and set up said meeting.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

 (Insert your full name)


Letter 2:

Date

To Whom It May Concern:

I am requesting an IEP meeting to be held on behalf of (insert child's full name) in regards to (insert your concerns) with (insert teachers name), (speech therapist name), (occupational therapist name), (principal's name) and (insert head of special education at school boards name).

Under the laws and guidelines of my IEP rights, you have 10 days to respond and set up said meeting.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

 (Insert your full name)

I do hand write all of my letters and either make a copy or take a picture of them before I send the letter off in Doodle's book bag. I also mark on my calendar the day the letter was sent off to the school and circle 10 working business days that I would be getting my response. I've always gotten my meeting way before the 10th day and I have always been called by that afternoon the letter was sent to set up the time and date.

I have known parents that verbally request and they have never been given their meeting. I have informed them of the importance of writing their letter as it is required that a letter be written. Sometimes, info falls on deaf ears because they have complained all throughout the school year they never got any of the meetings that they had requested all school year.

Keep your sanity and your head up. School is only as hard as you make it.

Hope you guys have a great day!

Learning something new, Autism

If you guys have not utilized the opportunity at Michaels Craft Store during the summer, you're missing out on some valuable Occupational Therapy. And you are also missing out on a great opportunity for your kids to learn something new. Look, I know that we are all tired when we drag our kids to outside services and we can't rely on just school services alone.

On Wednesday, Michaels Craft Store had two crafts for the kids to make. And it was a puppy dog when you pulled on the dogs tongue his ears would move. The other is a game that I just adored and it was a perfect game for Doodle and I to play together. I called it tic tac fish, but in reality it was tic tac toe. These projects were done at all Michaels Craft Stores across the nation.

Doodle has never really played tic tac toe. But she does love herself some fish and therefore it made it the perfect opportunity to play together. I only let her win the first four games. After that I helped guide her through 6 games. By the end of it all she was giving me a run for her money. She was laughing and trying to cheat by putting all her fish on the board at once.

I had never even known about Michaels Craft Stores even offering summer crafting before I started working there. And it's very rare that we go in on Saturday for the kids craft days, unless it's fish related. And since she is getting into the new and old Ghostbusters for Halloween it will be a perfect opportunity to create a tic tac toe house and make ghosts for the playing pieces.

I love the opportunity when it arises to teach my daughter something new, considering the past school year has been really rough and the only time that she did any school work was homework that I highly insisted on coming home. (Yes, the teacher got in a lot of trouble at the IEP meeting when it was mentioned that homework was not coming home.) Yeah, I'm the bad parent because my child has rights and I will not have them violated.

Doodle has only 4 more weeks before school starts and I am almost prepared. Just need to get under garments, socks, shoes, (I'm going back to sketchers, they last longer with her) a few more shorts and lots of pants. Because we all know that some uniforms will need to left at the school.

I hope that you guys are keeping up with your list of everything that needs to be addressed at the beginning of the school year IEP. If you don't schedule an IEP meeting at the beginning of the school then you aren't switching to a new school or are happy with the state of your childs' school. When there is a change such as school or teacher I call for an IEP meeting. If there are things that have come up during the summer and your child doesn't have summer school then the first day make sure that you are writing up a letter calling for an IEP meeting, to be sent with your child the first day of school. I will address this matter in a later blog post for those who don't know how to do this.

You guys have a great day.

It was a bad sensory day, Autism

So during the week, Doodle had a horrible sensory moment. Why do I call it a sensory moment? Because sometimes things happen in our life and when we look back on it, it's just a drop in the bucket in our life. Yes, Doodle does have a lot of days where sensory overloads happen. It can't be avoided in our lives. Some stores we just can't shop at because of the lighting. And well Publix is turning into one of those stores. For Doodle, lighting has always been her sensory issue. The lighting has to stay consistent. If it can't be consistent then it just leads to all sorts of problems for her and for me as her mother and care giver.

When we walked into the store it was fine until we left the vestibule area. That's when she clamped onto me, closed her eyes and covered her face. I was basically dragging her through the grocery store. In the flower department it was pretty dim. No lighting on at all and it was only 4:00 in the afternoon. The produce section was pretty dim as well, but the shelves where the main produce was held, well, that had it's lights on. You know the section that sprays the produce when the thunder sound is made. So it was a bit confusing to her.

Let me tell you about this awesome invention that saved me my sanity in Publix. It's known in my circles as the Caroline Cart and it was made for parents with children with Special Needs. Those who can and can't walk. For those with children on the spectrum that like to run off when you turn to look at a product for a split second, this is the cart for you, as you can buckle your child in for their safety.

Look I can't drag my kid around a store, it kills my back when she is immobile from sensory issues that cause her to freeze up. She sat in the Caroline Cart and kept her eyes closed. But I was able to get everything on my mental list that I needed. Most of the time when an issue like this arises I can only managed to get two items and then leave. I don't want my child to be uncomfortable. It makes me more uncomfortable when she is in distress.

I will admit that I did get a lot of stares because here I am a mom pushing my 10 year old that looks perfectly normal in a Caroline Cart. And yes, under normal circumstances I will gladly leave the Caroline Cart for someone who needs it, just like I can get a handicapped placard but since she can walk with no issues I'm not going to even think about getting a handicapped space because someone else that really needs it can use it. I could care less about the looks. No my child is not lazy. Yes, I was saving my sanity because once she locks up it's only a matter of time before the meltdown ensues.

You guys have a great day.

It's summer, is it really break time, Autism?

Wednesday's post did not include the Autism tag in the title like it normally does. But that's okay because I can't be expected to remember everything. Considering what all is going on in our lives thanks in part to battling regression in our lives. No parent wants to go through a regression. It's like taking one step forward and 30 steps back.

Not a finer moment in our type of lives, considering we don't live normal lives to begin with. Well, now that it's the summer time and things are beginning to fall into place for us with reconditioning and picture schedules, what should I be doing other then trying to take a break? Nope, not gonna happen. A new school year is approaching which means a new IEP meeting.

So at this point, every time something comes up I jot it down. I want things corrected with Doodle that I just can't correct myself. Other then using pencils or crayons that are less then an inch long I have no way of correcting palmer grip. Palmer grip is were a child doesn't hold a pencil or marker or crayon other then in the fist of their hand. Basically, like a one year old or toddler would hold it. Doodle has been using the palmer grip for the past year. She's too old for that. She knows better, but it's something that I suspect is due to the regression.

She's also been tapping on everything thing, cars, beds, care bears. You name it she will tap on it and won't be able to move until the tapping is out of her system.

Her vocal stemming is getting much better since I have started the reconditioning. As a matter of fact I haven't heard it in a couple of days. But the tapping has increased and we all know the tapping is a form of stemming. One bad habit for another. Great!!! More things that want to grate my nerves.

If you are not taking notes starting right now to be better prepared for the new school year. You just aren't being prepared. I know it's a lot of work but look at it this way. The more work that you put into something at the start of it the sooner this part of your job will be over. You and the teachers will be on the same track. Unless you had a teacher like we did last year. If I were to deal with the same case of that all over again, I think I would just push for a new school or even put Doodle in a regular ed classroom and let it be the school's problem to deal with. Instead of just being in the self contained classroom.

So the question to you would be, do you really want the type of success that I can get with my child? Yeah, I know this past school year was miserable! For me and for Doodle. But I got what I wanted. I had unlimited access to the classroom, just sign in at the front desk and didn't have to wait on a teacher to come see me. Just waltzed right on in there like I owned that classroom. For the awards ceremony the last week of school I asked to have Doodle get her award first. I didn't want to miss the awards, but I also had to be at the new school to register and book it immediately to work to teach a calligraphy class. And yep, Doodle's class was the first to get called up for their awards and Doodle was the second kid to get her award. What makes it awesome is that Doodle's class was the class that always went dead last. Every single awards ceremony. So I didn't miss out. I got my pictures, got to give her a hug and kiss and booked it to the new school.

If you think that you are tired now and you will never be able to do this because your always so tired. Life is draining. You will have this mentality always. It's something that you will never be able to lose. If you don't put in the work nothing will ever start getting easy and nothing will change. Everything will always stay hard. And you will always stay tired.

When you put in the work for your child, only then can you see the benefits of your hard work. If you aren't getting what you want in the IEP meeting keep scheduling IEP meetings. Eventually the school will succumb to your requests. Technically, you're not to be denied services. Behavior, ABA, therapy. It doesn't matter, they are not to deny you, it's your right even before your IEP contract is drawn up. If you allow others (the school) to convince you that no you can't or they can't or they won't, that's where your free legal help comes into play.

The reason that I am starting now is because I don't want to walk into my meeting and just shake and nod my head because I can't remember what all I need them to work on with Doodle. As long as I have a paper that I've been keeping track with then I'm already ahead of the game. I've also listed what all I've been doing during the summer to get the tantrum behavior under control. Thanks to the teacher and her own form of conditioning, throwing a wrench in the well oiled machine. Some days Doodle will have a meltdown but we've had more tantrums then we've had meltdowns. And there is a big difference between the two.

So the school will have what has been taking place and where they can go from there and continue on with the progress. Because that's what I want out of my child is progress.

At this point I can direct more attention to where attention needs to be placed. It only takes me a few moments out of my time to do this little bit of a task. And hey if you find yourself without a pen and paper, you do know you can text yourself on your phone. I'd actually done that for years. Very convenient.

I will be re-doing the blog again. It's summer and it's the start of summer crafting. I have lots of little projects that I know you and your kids will love as Doodle and I really enjoy our summer time treats. There won't be much to report unless a lot of progress is being made. Everything is slowing down at work and I can work on Doodle's line. I also have a book that I am working on on JSN Creative Services and I do plan on putting some crafts with that. I want families to enjoy time with each other and crafting together along with praying together is the best way to keep families together.

I can't promise that I wil be able to keep my standard schedule of Monday, Wednesday and Friday but I will at least give it the 50's version of the good ol' college try. Because let's face it, this day and age the

college try isn't up to snuff.

If there is something that you want help with or if you want pictures for your own picture schedules and how to make it, let me know I will will work on that for you. All you have to do is ask.

Hope you guys have a great day!