Very rarely will you see a rant. Though I did have one a while back ago and here we are again. I'm just going to get this off my chest as most people don't think the way that I do about autism. And a lot of people choose not to see what my world in autism is like.
First and foremost I am a mom. Yes, Doodle is special needs and with special needs you have to deal with a lot from someone who can barely communicate. You get to deal with little annoying habits that are picked up at school and when we are out and about.
At the end of last month several things happened. Doodle was having a really bad day. I mean a super horrible day. I keep my Facebook page pulled up as that is the easiest way for everyone to contact me that needs my help or needs to talk. I try to make myself available for my friends and those who are dealing with autism themselves. How do you keep your tight nit community together if you can't be available for others. I no longer carry a cell phone as I am at home a lot of the times because I do work so much, not only for my businesses but also for Doodle. I posted that it was not a good day and for a certain someone to stop tagging me in every freaking thing. This is not someone that I talk to on a regular basis. He is someone that tags me in every freaking thing so he can try to get the word out about his business and what is going on in his life. Other then being a Facebook friend that's all it is. He and I don't talk. We have no form of relationship at all. The last post I got tagged in by him was for, Come to my church and find out who the anti-Christ is.
Seriously??? You want me to drive several hours away to attend a church meeting with a child on the spectrum who by the end of service others will think the preacher got it wrong. I think not. And do you know how many bings go off with a post where he not only tagged me but hundreds of other people. The commenting alone just about drove me mad. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Now how can I give full attention to my child and do my work with all that going on? All I can say is Dude! That's rude!
He sent me a nice message after that saying that I have a miserable life. No dude, my life is great. I will admit that I was miserable, hearing all the freaking binging from his post.
And then there are the people that tag me in posts for my timeline. This is the number one cure for autism, you've got to do this with Doodle. Um, No! How about this. I like the way that my child sees the world. I love her talent for drawing and the fact that she's got a photographic memory. How about this, you change your child to be like mine. I don't hear my child saying everything is hers. For my child at her age, I'm not getting the back talk, I'm not getting I need a cell phone. I need this expensive product. I need a boyfriend. So and so doesn't like me but I like him. I don't have that! I don't want that!
Matthew 18:2-4 tells us: 2And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, 3and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. 4"Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.…
So what do I have? I have a child that will always have the mind of a child. And she is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. I'm not trading that. My child can't "whip and nae nae" but she can say The Lord's prayer and she does know that she loves Jesus and He loves her. We don't even dance that way in our house as I feel it's degrading. Yes, I dress in blue jeans and T-shirts that cover everything and not tightly. You won't catch me in a dress, ever! But you will catch me standing up for my beliefs.
I'm not trying to convert you in this blog. All I'm trying to show is the way that I think. The way I feel. If this isn't your cup of tea that's fine.
And then we have last week. Which throws the whole I have a miserable life back in my face. Doodle spit on me while I was hugging her. All I heard was the hocking sound and then she spit on my neck. I don't find that funny at all. I find it disgusting and repulsive. Yes, she got in trouble and yes she was told not to spit on anyone ever again.
And let's not forget about this new thing that she does, The screeching! Now when she sees people while we are out she screams at the top of her lungs! OUT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS! It not only scares me to death but people are not happy campers when she does it right beside them. Yeah, it's embarrassing! More embarrassing then when she bursts out in tears at a store because other kids are cryings. Correcting behavior is something that I am to do as a parent and yes all this behavior is being corrected. Slowly but surely, it's being corrected, without the help of anyone else. It all lands on my shoulders.
So if my life is miserable then so be it. I am miserable. I live with a child with Autism. Every single day is a new challenge. Everyday is a new adventure. I normally try to keep everyone's spirits up at a cost to myself. No one knows what I go through, or how I feel because I won't talk about it. It's my business and no one else's. The only people that can truly relate to me are other parents with special needs children. And of course Jesus.
I don't get out and socialize much, as most parents with children on the spectrum don't get out because yes it's more of a headache to deal with. And this is why a lot of marriages fail for those that have children on the spectrum. Is it the reason my marriage failed? Nope, it's not. There were other issues that derailed that. Autism was a small contributing factor.
And now that I have gotten that all out of my system. I really hope you guys have a great day.
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