I love October Autism

Bet you guys thought you wouldn't hear from me today. Well, here I am. So it's the middle of October. This year is flying by. Just like Doodle's childhood it's passing by quickly. We have a project for school due next week. There will be more about that in the next blog. I'm still very much refreshed and I am getting tons of things done. I used to be one of those moms other moms hated. Oh she can make anything. I'm so sick of her and her crafting projects. Well, it's official! This crafting Queen is back!

Doodle and I have been very busy. So busy in fact a person I know is sick of this great mom. I can't help it even when my husband flipped his wig and kicked us out I was still there to make sure Doodle got to school on time. And no I didn't rely on anyone to help me out. I am her care giver I have to be there for her. She's the only child that I have. Don't hate on me because even when I was in the deep darkest parts of depression I still took care of my kid.

So what have we been busy with? Here is today's project. The dreaded trimming of a child on the spectrum's' nails. Yep, I trimmed her nails while she was wide awake! It's a miracle!! No, not really. I conditioned Doodle by taking her to nail salons for about a good 6 months. I let them deal with the head ache while I got my mommy time and doting over Doodle for being such a good girl. That changed the way that I could trim her nails.

Today, since it's been awhile. I think the last post I did on doing her nails, it was in this blog, was the last time I trimmed her nails. I even did my nails today and I am feeling great. Not only did I get to trim her nails but I also took the time to paint them too.

Anything is possible when it comes to children on the spectrum. You just have to keep at it. You guys have a great day!

The finished hand

One of the steps

The other finished hand

The start. Dirty filthy hands with long long nails

One of the steps

Here we go! The start, washed cleaned hands and trimmed

The color I needed on my nails

It's funerals and sea glass Autism

Yeah, I know. You guys haven't heard from me in awhile. I'm here and this morning it would have still been on a sad note but now as Doodle likes to say, "Feeling much better". So why does the title of this post say funerals and sea glass? Well, that's an easy and a sad one. I have written several posts but I haven't posted them because for several weeks I'v been just so busy and I haven't been able to keep up with everything.

My aunt passed away last Monday. Hard to believe that she is gone. She was the life of the room. Everyone would gravitate towards her no matter where she was or who she was with. She was fun loving and great to be around. She just went to sleep one night and didn't wake up the next morning. The peaceful sleep. She left behind 3 children. 2 are grown the baby of her family is 16 years old and it's hard for her to be without her mom, I'm sure.

And Monday was not my best day at all. As I was walking around the neighborhood I was told to go home because my mother needed me. Some would call that an Angel and others would say intuition. Me, I know it was the voice of my Lord. By the time I got back home my mother was in tears and that's when I learned the horribly sad news that my aunt, my mothers little sister had gone to be with The Lord. By the time lunch time rolled around the school was calling to say that Doodle had an ear infection and needed to go home from school.

The funeral was on Thursday and almost all of the family was in attendance. At least the ones that mattered. You know how it is with family. Some you want to see, others you pray you don't run into. And as you can imagine a funeral home is not autism friendly. The lighting was not in Doodle's favor, which is why we spent so much time in my minivan. She had her crayons and markers, drawing papers, movies with a fold down screen and snacks in the car along with plenty of water just in case she were to get thirsty. The emotions alone in the funeral home had poor Doodle's head swimming. It was really confusing for her. Some were laughing because my aunt lived a happy funny life and some were crying because they would miss her so much. That's just too much of an emotional roller coaster for her and she didn't know which way to go. She couldn't be just regular Doodle because the room was charged with confusion to her.

I was relieved when my best friend finally arrived and was promptly walked around to meet everyone in the family. My best friend has attended every single family funeral for as long as he's been my friend and that's 18 years worth of funerals. My best friend who is also Doodle's Godfather has known my family way before he and I became best friend. He's the only one that can truly handle Doodle and her emotions. He sat in the car with us for about 30 minutes and was able to get Doodle out of my minivan when it came time for us all to go back inside to pay our respects one last time.

So how did Doodle do at the funeral. Pretty good for the most part. When we first walked in around 10:15 that morning Doodle promptly tried to clear the room with screaming out, "She's DEAD!?" Then she discovered the little break room and the fact she didn't want to be there. Which is why we spent so much time in the minivan. At the last call to pay our respects and we went back inside Doodle went straight to one of the couches and laid down, sticking her tongue out of her mouth and pretended to be dead.

After the grave side service was finished, Doodle was back to normal with her emotions. So the rest of the day was pretty typical and normal for Doodle. But for the rest of the week and the weekend it's been an emotional roller coaster for me and stressful as there is so much work that I have to do for Doodle's line and stores that I've lined up to carry her line.

Today, the following Monday I have just been very stressed out with work and poor Doodle and her autism just weren't helping. This past week she's been obsessed with frogs. So I took this time to say we needed to go to the beach. Straight to the Sea Lab, since there was no school today as it's teacher work day. Doodle enjoyed the day and I enjoyed being with her. I was a happy loving mom with not a single responsibility to deal with. Just enjoying Doodle and her child like wonder. She even picked a fight with a crab. And it was hilarious! There was this huge tank with lots of fish swimming around in it. At the bottom of the tank was a crab. One lone crab. And Doodle went back and worth beside the crab who was behind the thick glass. Back and forth for a good 15 minutes. And this crab was getting so hot under the collar with her following him/her. At one point the crab looked at her and put it's claws up as if to say let's fight. To see her face light up at each one of the tanks was such a wonderful experience. Getting to touch some of the sea creatures and seeing Sea Horses and the different colors that they come in.

Seeing the alligator or as Doodle used to call them Alli-da-dor. We watched for a bit as it pretended that he wasn't real. You know those alligators can hold their breathe for a long time. And his throat moves like a frogs does before it starts making noise. After we left the Sea Lab we went to the beach. After we took our shoes off and started to wade in the water is when I noticed the jelly fish. They were washing up on shore. They weren't as big as they were when I was a kid but you still have to keep an eye out for them as they can still do some damage to you, dead or alive. We collected sea shells and little sea rocks and we found a few pieces of sea glass. It was a perfect day. And how do you top off a perfect day? Late lunch at Dairy Queen. Doodle and I's favorite restaurant. We love it at Dairy Queen but only eat there once every 4-5 months. It's cheaper to eat at home.

She loves it at the Sea Lab and we can't get out there enough for her to enjoy what she loves most during her childhood. She'll only be a child once and it's time I need to remember that. She is growing up so fast. And childhood only lasts in the blink of an eye.

I'm going outside to spend the rest of the day with Doodle and of course be an adult and do laundry. You guys have a great day!

Photo opportunity with Ojo from Bear in the Big Blue House

Not the crab she got in a fight with. This one wasn't interested in her shenanigans as it was busy eating his buddy.  

A photo that Doodle took of the beach

The crab Doodle got in a fight with. The fight ended when she turned her fanny to it and tried to sit on the glass. At that point he figured it was time to head for the cover of the sand.

Touching the Sting Ray's and sharks

Just hamming it up

I really liked these fish chilling in the barnacles.

First day of fall Autism

Yes, it's the first day of fall and with that comes a new season. If you are like me and have a business or several businesses then you can relate to the changing of the seasons means its the changing of businesses.

Currently I have been at the computer for several hours now lining up what each business will do and how it will be advertised. Every season changes and so should the way that you run your business. I'm not saying that you should change everything. Just tweek it a little bit to ensure that your business stays fresh and you can keep up with changes.

Yes, I know, there was no blog on Monday. Well, that was a very hectic day for me as Monday and Tuesday I had classes to teach. I still have to prepare for a class on Saturday, if there are enough people enrolled in it. But for right now I'm taking a a somewhat mental break and sending word out that yeah, I'm still here and yeah I'm not dead. Though I am a bit exhausted.

So Doodle has been crying at school for as long as she has been back this school year. Yesterday I sent her in an old pair of shoes that she wore last year. It seems to have made a change as she didn't cry in school at all.

When her father asked her how her day was at school, she responded back with, "It was okay, I guess." That got her a high five as that was the best sentence I've heard in a long time! I will admit that was an awesome response. Normally, she gives yes or no replies and follows it up with something that's not coherent. So I'm pretty stocked.

No longer am I getting the fights for homework that I used to get so I'm fine with that. We are still working on how to behave in a library. And I bought a book on Mark Twain for her that we can read together at night.

I still have lots of work to do so I hope you guys have a great day!

Who helps Autism

Sorry for not posting on Monday or Wednesday. Yasas needed a break from the responsibilities of helping with the blog. She's 11 years old and needs her rest more then most. Wednesday I was working on my business and that matter is as you know, very important. This blog post was started on Wednesday but was not completed.

There are so many things that can be said today, as there is so much that is running through my mind. The the people that are circulating in my mind the most today are the voices that speak out for autism. The people who have autism and have found their voice. The parents of those raising autism. Those are the ones that help me to understand my child.

First up on the list we have Carly Fleischmann. Most of you have heard of her. She went from a kid and teenager who couldn't speak at all to communicating through the computer. She shared a part of her world that most parents who have ASD kids don't really know about. Sensory is a fickle beast but she explained the reasons why she does what she does so we as ASD parents can better understand what our children are going through and why.

Last year Carly decided to have shock treatment to combat her OCD. Now shock treatment is not something I would even consider for Doodle and each of us have to walk a fine line of what type of treatment we want to obtain for ourselves and children. It's not for me to say hey you don't need to do that. Well, Carly found herself back where she didn't want to be and that was locked in her brain. We as parents fight so hard to get our kids out of that area, that a set back like that is truly heartbreaking.  As of now, September, Carly has been making great strides to pull herself out and is even now starting to really progress again. It will take time but I can assure you that Carly will be back to helping those that seek her help.

The most famous of all Autism specialists for us in the ASD world is Dr. Temple Grandin. She's the model that I follow. Doodle wants to be a doctor and before Temple, I never would have thought it was even possible. Just knowing that there is a doctor with Autism Spectrum Disorder gives me hope that Doodle will be able to be a doctor and even her autism won't hold her back.

Now Dr. Grandin when she speaks at conferences shares many ways to help combat sensory issues. From tinted glasses to how to work on the sensory of sound so children can better adjust to the world that really wasn't made for them. I will admit that watching Dr. Grandin on youtube is extremely helpful and worth sticking around for the full 2 hours or more. And if you haven't seen her movie it is a must to see! Her movie changed the way I viewed my child. It changed it because before I thought my child grasped the world like I did. But when I found out that she saw things differently then I did and even thought differently then I did, it changes how you see them. I have a better understanding of how Doodle's mind works and I have to stop and think about how something may be affecting her.

How is she viewing the world? How is the sound being interpreted in her mind? Sometimes we need to take a step back and view things through our child's eyes and senses. Face it, it's much like math. Sometimes there's many different ways to tackle the math problem. Such as adding everything or multiplying to get the answer or subtracting or possibly even dividing.

Such as the case in point. Doodle and I were walking yesterday. I was a little miffed with her because not 30 minutes ago she had spit on me while I was hugging her and telling her how much I loved her. All I heard was a hocking sound and then she spat on my neck. I'm a mom, I have to be strict. She did get into trouble and I did tell her she is not allowed to spit on anyone, it is gross. No spitting. When I'm upset Dana feels my upset. And that makes a huge impact on her. It's emotions that she feeds off of. That's how she learns about emotions.

Well, it was a some what quiet walk. I still answered her questions she asked, "What's that?" And yes I get asked that question a lot. I used to answer with what it was, now I reply with, "What does it sound like?" She will tell me. Even if she tells me the wrong sound I will correct with a no and have her continue with guessing until she gets it correct. As we were almost home she was walking on the grass at the edge of someone's yard (same house of the kids who tortured her with verbal assaults) and I could hear the sound of the grass crunching under her feet. I thought, "This is so loud. Is this how she hears the world?" From there I could hear how loud her foot steps and even my foot steps were on the asphalt. Normally, it's not something I would hear. I guess I drown out the world, but she can't do that. It was an eye opening experience. The sounds being so much louder then they ever have been before.

And last I want to mention Kreed, from Kreed's World, A complex journey through autism. Yes, I love following Kreed. His mother and I are somewhat similar as we demand that our children communicate with us. He uses his iPad to communicate and will sometimes use Doodle's communication book. (Only if she's having trouble finding the words.) Kreed has been through a lot in the past couple of months with his health. But I see a lot of Doodle in him. Autism is not an easy life to live in, but it will not stop our kids. And sometimes things that Kreed is going through is something similar to what Doodle maybe going through and his parents are spot on with telling or even showing through video's how they handle a situation.

As a parent with a child on the spectrum we are a community. When one child on the spectrum succeeds that's cause for celebration. That is our hope for our children. So never give up. Keep holding down the fort and remember that you are not alone in your journey. Find a community to be apart of. You will find kindred spirits banning together that are facing the same situations as yourself and can offer helpful advice to help you through a difficult time. Heck, you might even find someone whom you will be able to help.

You be you and have a fantastic day.

#neverforget Autism

Today is September 11, 2015. Today is a stain on the American soul that marks the tragedy on September 11, 2001. Our country was attacked by terrorists. Crashing planes into our Twin Towers and Pentagon. But let us not forget the brave souls on United Airlines Flight 93. They were brave souls who stood up for their fellow man and Country on that flight. The plane they were on did not make it to it's destination.

I wasn't going to do a blog today out of the respect for 9-11 and just remain quiet. Thinking that autism and 9-11 really have nothing to do with each other. This is a day to remember. However, 9-11 and autism have a lot to do with each other. This is about teaching our children that there is bad in the world. True evil lurking around the corner and it will come out of nowhere. Pretty much like an autism meltdown. This is about teaching our children to stand up for our Country and take pride in where they live and try to help them understand what happened to us 14 years ago today.

Doodle may not have the full understanding of what all transpired that day when I teach her our American History, but she does have a small grasp of it. I started teaching her about this day in history a few years ago.

Our fight to stay free in America is provided to us by our American Soldiers, Police Officers, Fire Fighters and First Responders. They put their lives on the line every single day to serve and protect. Now this does not mean that we need to treat them in a way to make them feel as though they owe us because "we pay their salary". If you feel that way, I hope you never own a business. This is about respecting the lives that are put on the line every single day to keep us safe. And that can be found in the normal American "Joe" (man or woman).

We are all outstanding. As long as we stick together we will always have a fighting chance and that's the same way that it is with Autism. From the Doctors, nurses, therapists and teachers that make the right impact for our children. We Stand United as one.

So let us take a moment to reflect on those who responded to help those at the World Trade Center and Pentagon, those that lost their lives on planes and in buildings. And let us remember the "battle cry" of Todd Beamer when he said, "Are you guys ready? Let's roll."

Madison Rising - Star Spangled Banner

School says what, Autism

So Wednesday has snuck up on me again. Boy the weeks are just going by so fast here within the past couple of weeks. Where is the time going? Before I know it Doodle will be graduating from school and heading off to college to become a doctor. and no don't tell me my daughter can't do something when I know that if she puts her mind to it she can. None of that negative talk around here.

So yesterday was the first day back at school for the kids after the Labor Day Holiday. What did I get for that lovely day? A call from the school to come pick up Doodle, that she was uncontrollable. And no matter what they tried to do she couldn't be settled down. Well, that was weird because when I went to drop her off yesterday morning she was fine. Just being a bit defiant but nothing more. She really didn't want to be at school that morning, but that's not unusual coming back from a three day weekend.

I got up to the school to see the school nurse and guess what, no Doodle waiting in the nurses office for me. Well, there's red flag number two. The nurse asked me to sign in, gave me a visitors pass and sent me off to the cafeteria to get Doodle and take her home.

By the time I got to the cafeteria, Doodle was quietly sitting at the table eating her breakfast. So I sat down right beside her and watched her eat everything that she had on her plate. The child will eat like she's not fed at home while she's at school but once she gets home, she's a picky eater. Go figure. She got up and threw away her trash and sat back down in her spot. Something just wasn't right about the whole thing.

I guess it took awhile for the para educators to notice me because after Doodle had sat back down was when they got up to insist that the other kids in the class started eating their breakfast. I don't have to make my appearance know. Observations of my surrounding will tell me more then what I can find out by asking questions or just grabbing Doodle and going.

When it came time to leave I followed to class, where it was then I discovered the teacher was not there today, there was no substitute but there where two para educators trying to do the work of several people. What they missed was Doodle getting spit on, one kid slapping other students and Doodle becoming so frustrated that she started picking her skin causing her knee to bleed.

What I noticed out of the whole 20 minutes of being at the school, the day was going to end up being a disaster for Doodle. At one point she left circle time and went to lay down on a bean bag chair. It was about that time I figured I had had enough. After seeing your child getting spit on and slapped you pretty much know it's just time to take them home because these poor ladies had enough on their plates to deal with and I will just deal with Doodle until Wednesday. At least she won't be hurting herself and no one will be hurting her. But it also teaches the bad habit that if you misbehave at school you can go home. And she will never learn anything. That's not what I'm trying to do here but with such a hectic day this class was having, it wouldn't have been good to let Doodle get lost in the day or "system" as you will either.

After that it was pretty much just a down hill kind of day that left me drained. I was so glad when yesterday was done and over with. So today, here I am working on trying to figure out ways for Doodle to be taught in school without the school having the Edmark program. If you are not familiar with Edmark it's a program that helps children with learning disabilities to read, write and do math, where as other school curriculum will even scratch the surface for a child.

The first step will be with (FAPE) Free and Appropriate Public Education. This falls under the IEP. If this is not where I will get what needs to be gotten I will dig elsewhere in my rights to find it. That and I'm trying to line up a meeting with my school of choice. Hopefully, that will push the school into letting her attend by next year.

You guys day!

If dog's could speak Autism

You most of you guys have noticed that I have been really quiet except for Monday, when you got to see life from the eyes of our dog, Yasas. She's no puppy but she loves unconditionally. And that's all that matter in a fur family member when it comes to having a child on the spectrum. A dog that will allow the kids to dress them in clothing. Pet them over and over and over again. Sit down with the kids and have their eyes looked into for hours.

Doodle can't look me in the eyes but she will look Yasas in the eyes. Dogs have different facial features then the human facial structure. Occasionally, a dog will bark but they really aren't looking for much but food, water shelter and love. They don't demand the kids to do therapy or to speak. It's the love of an animal that keeps a child on the spectrum's trust.

And on that note here is the Monday message from Yasas.

Hey there, it's Yasas. I'm a Sheltie in a household with a child on the spectrum. I would like to say that last wek I wasn't dressed in my human's clothing but that would be a lie. The littlest one dressed me to look identical to her. Luckily for me there are no pictures. My foot was caught up in the shirt and all I could do was hobble around the room. Which triggered my loving master to remove my outfit and the littlest one to throw a fit. I don't know why she wanted me to look like her. I don't look good in exercise shorts. And a red shirt is not my color.

It's been really busy in our household. The littlest one has been at school and my owner has been studying for something called an art certification. I don't know why she likes painting so much. It gets in my fur when my owner hollers out to no no no, leave Yasas alone. I'm not sure if that's the littlest name, but it almost sounds like mine. I think my full name is Yasas Come, so you can see why it's a bit confusing.

My owner studied day and night for an entire week and it took her all day to take the certification test. But it was well worth it, as she passed the test with a 92.6%. My human did more jumping around then the littlest one normally does. So as you can imagine, life in the household has been very busy and a bit chaotic.  But I don't mind. I still get all the scratches on my fanny and under my chin that I normally get and still got to wake my human up at weird hours during the week because I wanted to go outside and yak.

And as most of you guys have noticed that it's Labor Day here in our neck of the woods. I plan on spending a lot of time with the family during this holiday, looking forward to Tuesday when the littlest one goes back to school and I can get all the naps in, in a day that I can again. Life will be grand when school goes back into session.

Love a child with autism and enjoy your weekend.

Barking out, Yasas.